GLENSIDE, PA – According to sources, local Calvinist Patrick Umstead and his wife Emma have argued over his beard since he began growing it out roughly 2 years ago. “It’s gotten really big. It hides half his face,” Emma complained to reporters. “I understand the whole ’emulating Spurgeon’ thing, but I want him to shave it […]
. . . finish reading Calvinist Explains To Wife: ‘I Didn’t Choose My Beard; The Beard Chose Me’.
via The Babylon Bee