Hey, Let's Make A Federal Flag Desecration Law!

  Last Saturday I sat in the local arena while President Trump voiced an initiative to create a federal statute against burning the 'American Flag'. He wants a 1 year jail sentence for anyone convicted of burning their own flag.
  Immediately I thought.. Where was this guy when the Supreme Court followed Justice Scalia's lead and issued an affirmation of freedom of expression regarding what someone does with their own flag?
  We're not talking about destroying other people's property or even starting a fire in city hall. This proposal strictly criminalizes the act of 'desecrating a specific nation's banner, just because of the meaning attached to that banner.
  In 1989, I thought Scalia was a disaster pick for the Supreme Court when he issued his ruling. Now I've come to see the essential constitutional requirement of forbearance when someone insults my republic in this way. It's essential to who we are, that we extend that liberty for some ungrateful idiot to do such foolish & spiteful things.

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  But I also recall how states & municipalities took things even further and created more laws about wearing garments which resemble the US flag. Is it disrespectful to wipe your mouth with a flag napkin? How about using the flag as a sweatband or towel?
  What about a kid stomping on his flag-emblazoned skateboard?  If I crash into a vehicle with a US flag design painted on it, have I desecrated it?
  And then I read that the greatest insult folks recoil from is when someone burns a flag. So how does an obedient subject retire the tattered flag? Yep, He's supposed to respectfully burn it. But that's okay because he has love in his heart when he retires it. the flag is still reduced to a pile of ashes whether by a protester's flame or a loving patriot's torch. But only one of them gets a federal conviction...?

​Here's what I read from another sarcastic source..

​Displaying a flag like a banner, such as the American flag, is the typical way to show a flag. In fact, we've Seen It a Million Times, in America.
Basically, it's become a Cliche. Anyone can show off a flag like that... if they have a pole and a way to secure the flag to it. These days, there are plenty of better ways to show off flags, especially the American flag.


Perhaps you can paint the flag all over your car, preferably an American made car. Or you can get a tattoo. Or you can make clothing out of the flag. That way you know your clothes are made in America... as long as it's the American flag.


Heck, why stick with the same old flag designs? Flags change all the time, like the American flag. Perhaps you can have some fun with the flag, and put your cool new design on a T-shirt. I'd say "an American made T-shirt," but we all know that now T-shirts are made in China!


Particularly amusing is the ubiquitous use of the American flag for all this, when the US flag code has such great lines as: "The flag should not be used as 'wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery,'"

and "The flag should not be used as part of a costume or athletic uniform."

Since the Flag Code does not have the force of law, and since the American Supreme Court has said things like flag burning are protected free speech, this does nothing to stop any of the more creative uses of the American flag.

You must make sure that your flag is displayed correctly, however, because flying an American flag upside-down is a way to call for help, and you don't want to look pathetic while wearing your flag, now do you?


Either way, have fun with your cool way to show off your flag, but it helps if your flag has a cool design in the first place. Also, you should first make sure this is actually legal in your country, like America (and America today, a few decades ago it was quite illegal)!
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Often overlaps with Captain Geographic, and occasionally overlaps with Goofy Print Underwear (when the flag's not on your head).
A Super-Trope to Flag Bikini.
Compare Sigil Spam, Symbol Motif Clothing.
Not to be confused with Star-Spangled Spandex.