Dubiosity

Kaepernick Continues Assault On Female Artists

7/2/2019

The great matriarch, Betsy Ross, is the latest victim of Nike & their loud mouth bully, Colin Kaepernick.

Struggling local seamstress & textile artist, Betsy Ross, confers with Commander George Washington, while Washington's troops are struggling through a terrible winter at Valley Forge.

Kaepernick

This week it was announced that Nike will remove a whole new line of athletic shoes which bore the design of a Betsy Ross original. 'Old Glory' was a favorite of Commander George Washington, who commissioned Mrs Ross to create a flag which would unite all the militias of the 13 colonies.
Ross advocated for the 5 point star and the circular alignment to demonstrate how the new sovereign states pulled together during difficult times.

But Kaepernick says that the Revolutionary era is an evil time in our nation's history. Therefor the struggling textile artist, Ross, is also an evil woman, just for being alive in that era.
The Nike Line is set to lose millions of dollars by pulling the line of foot apparel. But they chose to obediently submit the corporate empire's image and marketing strategies over to the malcontent whiner who once was an athletic icon in the San Francisco bay area.

Ross's design was included in the new release of shoes for Nike. But Kaepernick vetoed the marketing campaign when he found our Ross's art was emblazoned on the back heel.

Fallin Considering Kansas Governorship?

1/5/2019

- Topeka, Kansas
Investigative journalist, Dewey Fudge has learned that Oklahoma Governor, Mary Fallin has secured the services of a real estate agent in the Topeka area. Sources in the area are withholding comment on a bid to buy a home near the Kansas state capitol. She and her husband were seen leaving a Topeka real estate office.
Former Kansas governor, Sam Brownback was also seen entertaining a couple over the Christmas holiday season, invited friends say they were reminiscing about their days in congress, and discussing ways to recover the Republican party of Kansas.
The Democrats won the Kansas governorship this past fall, after confirming to the voters that their constitutional carry rights are not in jeopardy with a Democrat governor.
Fallin has concerns for what Kansas has done, and the impact of Kansas citizens who come across the Oklahoma border packing heat. By removing the inequities in the two states, Fallin believes it will be safer for both states. Anonymous sources say that public safety is a priority for Fallin & is a compelling reason to seek an opportunity to reform Kansas. She’s also concerned that Kansans may approve cannabis medicine by legislative action, if she doesn’t do what she can to stop it.

Mary Fallin Pledges To Continue Organizing Her Precinct

11/18/2018

With her 8 years in the governor's mansion coming to a close, Mary Fallin is telling her neighbors to continue coming to her home for the GOP platform meetings. She says that her husband will also volunteer to be a block captain for the precinct committee.
Fallin could not officially say whether her daughter will be a youth organizer in the precinct, but she's offering to continue letting her daughter park the RV in their driveway if she joins the family crusade to "take back the neighborhood for conservatism!"
Fallin says that the local precinct is the supreme authority and power of the OKGOP in the local precinct and she wants to turn around OKC for faith, family, & freedom!
"You have to be willing to do the things that you ask others to do. I've benefited greatly from the party volunteers across this state and I need to 'pay it forward.'"
Fallin joins a list of politicians in retirement whom she says "continue to promote the party in the same way that the party promoted them".
We asked to see the list, but she said; "I'll get back to you on that."

California Needs Match Control Now

11/12/2018

This morning the count from the latest mass burning was 29 deaths. California is a state with a serious problem. And matches are the leading cause of death from wildfires.
It's time we enact sensible controls. Several times a year we hear of a person playing with matches and sometimes its a deliberate and demented person who burns the state for the thrill of it.

Current state & federal law allows the purchase of unlimited propellants & igniters in little cardboard packages.
The dealers have no licenses to sell these propellants.
The buyer doesn't have to pass a mental health check.
No requirement is made to stipulate the purpose for the sale.
No training in proper & responsible use is mandated.
Even a child or ex-felon can buy assault matches.
Extended shafts are fully legal,
High capacity cartridges can hold over 500 units.
Military grade sticks are now on the civilian market.

Mothers against Matches has begun a heroic campaign to bring sanity to a California populace who needs to be protected from the deadly and psychopathic killers in their society.
School children are being taught to "Say No" to matches and call 911 every time they see matches left out in the open.
California is now embarking on a course to be the first match-free society. A safe society. A child-friendly society.

Medical Marijuana Reforms Are Effective At Training Elderly To Spot Tokers

9/22/2018

One of the unforeseen benefits of medical marijuana reforms is coming to light this fall. As the elderly access their new arthritis treatments they are getting a crash course in awareness of symptoms and clues about their grandkids' habits and vices.
A study group at one Oklahoma senior day center is discussing experiences and effectiveness of cannabis meds in replacing their opiate drugs.
"It's absolutely fabulous!" said Edmond Willis of Claremore. "Edna and I are actually sleeping peacefully for six hours or more!"
Johnny Anderson, from nearby Verdigris added; "My chemotherapy has been hell, but at least I'm eating again. I think I'll get through this. But my God! I can't stop eating!"
Johnny says he also alerted his daughter and son-in-law about some cannabis plants growing in a field behind their back fence. He wouldn't have known what the weeds were if he hadn't been growing medicinal houseplants back at his condominium.
And Johnny warned his daughter about the boys his grandson hangs out with. "They're Stoners! I know they are, because I am one, too! I can spot them a mile away."
Johnny told us privately that his biggest concern is not his grandson's peer pressure. He's actually more concerned that his daughter is an alcoholic and setting a worse example for the grandkids and their friends.

Edmond & Johnny discussed ways to spot youth cannabis usage, now that they're using the new medicine to treat their ailments.

Opiate Dispensaries Celebrate Record Growth

9/14/2018

Wall street is celebrating the continued success of mega giant addictive drug retailing. For the past 20 years, Walgreens and CVS have seen unprecedented nationwide growth.
With the advent of ObamaCare, the meth & opiate industry has received record government subsidies to keep the cash cow producing for the stockholders of the largest dispensary chains, and the entire 'big pharma' sector of our economy.
Politicians at all levels of govt. are celebrating as well. opiate-friendly drug policies have been an intended outcome of the millions spent on campaign contributions.
All of this could end if the cities and states allow an old class of natural medicines to be cultivated and consumed by the sheep.. ere, I mean people.
Trouble Brewing
31 states have now bucked the entrenched power of big pharma despite the schedule-1 status that federal regulators obediently kept arbitrarily in place since many of the damn hippies turned to living naturally and avoiding the tranquilizers their parents were hooked on.

"We spent a lot of money to buy congress and several presidents! I'll be damned if we're going to sit by while Jeff Sessions decides to change course!" said one pharmacy CEO.

Sociologists Prepare For Rare Kevin Stitt Balloting

6/24/2018

Stitt Expected to Cast Ballot
by Rick Carpenter
(Tulsa) - Mortgage banker Kevin Stitt has indicated that he plans to vote in the Tuesday Republican primary. The event will be watched closely by social-scientists since it will be the 8th time Stitt has voted in this century. Also, it will mark the first time Stitt has voted in a Republican primary for Governor.

Records indicate there have been more appearances of solar eclipses in Oklahoma in this century, than appearances of Kevin Stitt at a polling place. Asked if he knew where his polling place was, Stitt said, “I’m pretty sure my wife does, ain’t she beautiful.”

“I see all of these TV ads with my name on them and it makes me feel like my vote matters” said Still. “I think I should try it again, like jumping out of an airplane.”

Yard Sign Thiefs Get Instant Punishment

6/16/2018

If you're a campaign enthusiast who wants to exercise your free speech & free press rights, I applaud you.
If your 'neighbor' (and I use that word loosely) doesn't respect your rights, he's an enemy of our nation's constitution. He needs to be deterred for the sake of liberty.
The last election cycle was very contentious and it demonstrates itself by the many videos on Youtube.
We're posting one of the videos for deterrent purposes. If you trespass onto private property and for the intent to damage, deface, or steal others' property, You will be caught, eventually. But even if you aren't prosecuted by the courts, you will possibly be prosecuted by a vigilante citizen, like this video illustrates.
Now, if you're whining about signs disappearing from public right-of-way, go tell someone who cares. You're abusing the public. Sure, maybe you'll say; " the opponent did it first". I really don't care to hear you whine.

You Just Broke 6 Oklahoma Traffic Statutes

5/24/2018

We love to laugh at some of the archaic Oklahoma statutes that no lawmaker ever thought to remove from the state code. But few people laugh when you and I violate some clearly written laws about the proper use of our common roads with our massive machinery of transportation. Owning and operating a motorized vehicle is a very liberating part of western civilization. 100 years ago, most of us were more likely to own a horse than an automobile.
But time and innovation have led to major changes in how we live and spend our govt. resources. And the rules for taking your personal transportation machinery onto the public roads have gotten necessarily complexed. If you can't comprehend and conform to these standards, you'll probably kill yourself or someone else; unless the law steps in and confiscates your wealth until either you feel the pain and conform, or confiscates your license to drive at all.
Here are 6 traffic statutes you probably broke. No, Barney Fife may not have cited you for them, but the consequences are still deadly.

The 6 laws you broke and why you need to quit doing that.

Prostitutes Arrested At Capitol Grounds

4/27/2018

OKLAHOMA CITY - As the session of the legislature enters the vital last few days, the Oklahoma City police were called to the capitol on an anonymous tip. The complaint cited was that a few prostitutes were moving in on turf which a rival group was operating in.
Officer Jones of the OKC vice Squad said; "It remains illegal to solicit personal services for a fee unless the 'john' is registered. And this 'john' was clearly not a lobbyist for a proper corporate interest."
Jones added; "lawmakers are the only individuals not prohibited by law, whereas other common prostitutes will aggressively be prosecuted for soliciting".
So both the unidentified man & the prostitute were cited, because he was not previously registering as a lobbyist prior to offering money for services at the state capitol, and she was not covered by legislative immunity.
"When you offer money in this capitol complex for these kinds of special favors, law enforcement has a duty to regulate it."
The members of the legislature have explicitly exempted only themselves [for obvious reasons], but everyone else must follow the law."
One unidentified lawmaker expressed relief about the arrest; "What's this place coming to?" he said.

Back at the station, Captain Anderson released this statement;
"On behalf of the OKCPD, let me say that we don't write the law, We just enforce it because that's how an orderly society must operate."

Dubiosity

Dewey Fudge provides his perspective from satirical sources and the trash cans of Sooner Politics

We seek to avail our readers of all the news perspectives and writing styles. To this end, we present the world without gravitas or literality.

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