We love to laugh at some of the archaic Oklahoma statutes that no lawmaker ever thought to remove from the state code. But few people laugh when you and I violate some clearly written laws about the proper use of our common roads with our massive machinery of transportation.  Owning and operating a motorized vehicle is a very liberating part of western civilization. 100 years ago, most of us were more likely to own a horse than an automobile.
  But time and innovation have led to major changes in how we live and spend our govt. resources. And the rules for taking your personal transportation machinery onto the public roads have gotten necessarily complexed. If you can't comprehend and conform to these standards, you'll probably kill yourself or someone else; unless the law steps in and confiscates your wealth until either you feel the pain and conform, or confiscates your license to drive at all.
  Here are 6 traffic statutes you probably broke. No, Barney Fife may not have cited you for them, but the consequences are still deadly.

OKLAHOMA CITY -   As the session of the legislature enters the vital last few days, the Oklahoma City police were called to the capitol on an anonymous tip. The complaint cited was that a few prostitutes were moving in on turf which a rival group was operating in.
  Officer Jones of the OKC vice Squad said; "It remains illegal to solicit personal services for a fee unless the 'john' is registered.  And this 'john'  was clearly not a lobbyist for a proper corporate interest."
  Jones added; "lawmakers are the only individuals not prohibited by law, whereas other common prostitutes will aggressively be prosecuted for soliciting".
   So both the unidentified man & the prostitute were cited, because he was not previously registering as a lobbyist prior to offering money for services at the state capitol, and she was not covered by legislative immunity.
  "When you offer money in this capitol complex for these kinds of special favors, law enforcement has a duty to regulate it."
The members of the legislature have explicitly exempted only themselves [for obvious reasons], but everyone else must follow the law."
  One unidentified lawmaker expressed relief about the arrest; "What's this place coming to?" he said.
  

​ The capitol vending machines were draining at a rapid clip and the cold sandwich choices were down to something labeled 'Olive Loaf' and a 'MeatLoaf' that looked less appetizing than canned dog food.

  ​My friend, 'Machine Gun Mel', gave a tour of his home and bunker, recently.

  He said he used to be an advocate for hunting, shooting sports, and self defense. But now he says he was complicit in the statists' effort to abridge his right to be prepared to resist the tyrannical govt.

​  Here's his press release;

  "I repent of my statist, timid groveling of the govt. for what is already mine."

 "Where others have been content to chip away at confiscationist policies and pleading for a less abridged list of approved arms, I am repenting that I was ever counted  among them." 

 "All arms, including the projectiles, are fully constitutional for Americans to possess."

" It's not enough that I be pro-gun. I am committed to being an Ammunitionist!".  - Mel

  My friend, 'Machine Gun Mel', gave a tour of his home and bunker, recently.

He said he used to be an advocate for hunting, shooting sports, and self defense. But now he says he was complicit in the statists' effort to abridge his right to be prepared to resist the tyrannical govt.

​  Here's his press release;

  "I repent of my statist, timid groveling of the govt. for what is already mine."

 "Where others have been content to chip away at confiscationist policies and pleading for a less abridged list of approved arms, I am repenting that I was ever counted  among them." 

 "All arms, including the projectiles, are fully constitutional for Americans to possess."

" It's not enough that I be pro-gun. I am committed to being an Ammunitionist!".  - Mel

by Dewey Fudge, for Dubiosity -  Retiring State Rep., Eric Proctor, is leading a recycling effort to give a new future to beloved family sofas whose frames have broken down. He sports a stylish former sofa from his East Tulsa constituent's living room.
  He said of his latest wardrobe addition (a hunter green plaid with a Sissertail yellow accent; "Some days a fella in this chamber would rather just blend into the floor carpet."
  He adds that the Scotch Guard anti-stain treatment evidently never wears out. He finds that especially helpful when confronted with petroleum executives who want to keep their full tax credit, even though his district's families were forced to give up their Earned Income Credit & lost their Insure Oklahoma healthcare policies.
  The recycling campaign brouchure simply says;
  "Please don't throw away your old sofa. Our struggling legislators face a pay cut & they can repurpose your upholstery into a fine blazer, worthy of the halls of state."
​     

  House & Senate Leadership met with Gov. Fallin, today. Their Press briefing outlined the upcoming June primary election message.
  "We will be rolling out a major media ad buy beginning Memorial Day weekend", said Senate Pro Temp Mike Schultz.  "There will be events in every House & Senate district where incumbents seeking a new term will listen with sincere expressions of humility and self loathing.". 
  Gov. Mary Fallin pledged to do all she could to join every incumbent in major campaign events. Fallin is convinced that her popularity with pro-life and pro-gun groups will play strong to the GOP base.
  "I believe the time to recount past records is unhelpful. We must renew the call for fiscal conservatism and legislative oversight."  Fallin said the narrative is only going to be advanced after her newest budget signing.  "Until that budget signing takes place, none of this new messaging will be helpful."

  Look for GOP incumbents to resume church attendance in their districts, especially visiting the largest congregations. There will be social media videos of lawmakers playing T-ball with their kids. Those who don't have kids will suddenly become 'Big Brothers & Sisters', on a 6 month commitment.

​  Some of the more intriguing developments in Oklahoma Special Sessions happened when daily floor sessions prepare to gavel out for the day. They ask for and entertain announcements for committees, caucuses, and other events.
  You can look this one up in the legislative journal for December 19th, 2017 (you just cant make this kinda stuff up)
  Collin Walke is one freshman Democrats in the House who asked  that all freshmen of the chamber come to a bipartisan caucus immediately after the daily adjournment.
  That's when 6th term Democrat, Eric Proctor, announced & entered into the House Record that; "the Festivus Annual Airing of Grievances is meeting in 5 minutes".
  It could well be that Colin & Eric were referring to the same meeting? We hope to hear a report of how it went.

  From his executive balcony, at the White House, Donald Trump joins the public in witnessing the event which followed his script to the second.
  North Koreans have nothing to say, and have given up on any effort to duplicate the Solar Eclipse of the USA.

  In a global spectacle of cosmic powers, the US treated the world to a demonstration of the capacity for galactic coordination.
   In a beautiful late summer day, the US showed off aspects of the solar wonder that very few have ever seen.
  Scientists from around the world to watch and wonder.
 How did Trump and his team get the timing and coordination needed to have the sun and moon line up precisely at several locations, from coast to coast?
  The event started in Oregon, at mid morning. Then the phenomena trekked east-southeast, over the mountains and swept down the prairie at high noon.
As it crossed the Missouri Valley, people from thousands of miles away were waiting. Everywhere, The scientists were tabulating data completely synchronous with the details which Trump's NASA physicists were orchestrating.
  As the solar display crossed the Mississippi Valley and headed for the Appalachians, millions more were in awe of what they saw and mindful that it was happening in Trump's America.
  The buzz was at fever pitch on all media outlets. America is back on top.  It's no wonder that the same global community that denied Obama the opportunity to host any Olympic games, is practically pleading for an American city to host either the 2024 or 28 Summer Games.

  Perhaps lawmakers will statutorily carve out food stamp benefits for themselves, in the event they ever have to punch a real time clock...