Faked Out Sports Tidbits:

If Arch Manning (grandson of Archie) does not go to Ole Miss (Uncle Eli Manning Alma Mater) or Tennessee (Uncle Payton Manning Alma Mater) look for heads to roll!!  

College Football Spring games are popping up like Tulips!!

Spring Game Band Rumors:

Oklahoma Sooners - Toby Keith, Foghat, Metallica, and The Gap Band!

Alabama Tide - Any band liked by Coach Saban:  Perry Como, Frank Sinatra, or the Carpenters!

Oklahoma State - Garth Brooks 

Family Power Rankings:

(using the NBA model!)

1. Wife
2. Daughters
3. Sons
4. Daughter in law
5. Granddaughters
6. Grandson
7. Son in Laws
8. Henry - my dog
9. Family dogs - Toast, Zennie, and Izzie
10. Cell phone
11. Family Gatherings and holidays
12. Tulsa Football

FOS projected seeding:

OU - 8

Arkansas - 5

OSU - 3

ORU - 15

Illinois - 1

???????????

Faked Out Sports/ Bryan in Tulsa 

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

soonerpolitics.org

Bryan in Tulsa’s Career Change!

Although I was in my early years of B in T, I was heckled by a young Governor Cuomo at the Gotham Comedy Club in the 80s!!  This caused an immediate shift in my career and I moved to Tulsa and became a banker!!  Now you know............the rest of the story!!

Oprah's interview with Megan and Harry was dazzling!

Using Oprah as a weight-loss representative is similar to having Tiger Woods retire from golf to be a Student Driving Instructor in L.A.!!!  But the questions she asked Megan were direct and to the point!  Oprah to Meghan:  “Ya knew what you were getting yo ass into when you married Prince Harry”??  Oprah to Meghan:  “Your smokin hot, Meghan, why did you marry Opie Cunningham from Happy Days in England?”  Great questions and straight to the point with no soft pitch questions!!  Thanks Oprah!!

Bobblehead Sports:

I have had a couple of solo performances babysitting Ana this week with Gus back to in-person school ✏️ in Tulsa!!  Ana who is 4 is studying to be an RN like her mom and using Papa as the practice patient!!  This last week I have had 232 bandages on my arms and legs, 42 Coronavirus vaccines with a plastic syringe, and my blood pressure checked 60 times and each time it registered 0 over 0!!  If I were good and quiet and did not cry I was rewarded with a smiley face sticker and a brownie from nurse Ana!!

Texas A&M fans caution about future post-pandemic games at Kyle Field!!

Thanks to our wonderful relatives in Houston, Mr. and Mrs. B in T attend an A&M game each year unless a contagion erupts!!  I must say there is a lot of kissing, hugging, and touching going at Kyle!!  This is all out of A&M tradition and will not be the case in 2021!  Although if I were sitting next to an Aggie cheerleader I would not complain about the 6 feet touching ordinance!!  Hopefully, Jami does not read this shat!!  If my cousins read B in T stuff, would you make note that Alabama is at Kyle Field on October 9, 2021!!  

QB Russell Wilson heading to the Las Vegas Raiders!!

Wilson’s wife is star entertainer Sierra who will sign a deal with the Ceasars Palace for 45 million a year!!  Husband agrees to sign with the Raiders for 30 million per year for 4 years!!  Sierra is B in T’s ‘Huckelberry’!!!  

Dallas will hold the National Invitational Tournament (NIT) in Dallas, Texas!!

Also:

Rumor has it that my Golden Hurricane is playing in the Bixby YMCA Tournament bubble!! 

FOS College Basketball Post Season Picks:

Big 12 Kansas City T-Mobile Stadium

Oklahoma 82 Iowa State 76

The Sooners kept the Clones at a safe distance throughout the Big 12 opening-round game!  Iowa State ended their anemic pandemic season with a 2-22 record!!  Several local Des Moines high school teams have asked the Clones if they would be on their JV schedule next year!!?

Oklahoma 82 Kansas 81

Kansas big man is out for the tourney due to Coronavirus protocol!  Coach Self will play a five-guard offense and shoot the three 50 times!!  Kansas athletic department has hired a doctor for all NCAA games due to Hollywood’s red-faced blood pressure issues!!  Kansas Bryson Thompson, please do not go to the NBA!  Stay another year, eat more sandwiches, put on some muscle weight then head to the OKC Thunder!!

Oklahoma State 73 West Virginia 70  

This game has a 10:30 breakfast at T-Mobile tip-off!!  Free scrambled eggs with hash browns for first 1,000 fans in the stadium with a mask and without a hangover! After the Cowboys defeated West Virginia on the road without their 1st pick in the NBA draft, Cade Cunningham several Posse Club members were overheard saying ‘heck fire we don't need Cade for the tournament, we're better without em!!  Earth to Poke fans let's not ruin a great streak to the tournament by wishing for silly things!!

AAC Tournament:

Fort Worth - Dicky’s Arena

Tulsa 70 Tulane 65

Numerous folks in the flat statue Pandemic crowd were confused for TU fans, since they never moved and were eerily quiet!!  Coach Haith is hoping for a good run in the tournament to keep his job!!  Burns Flat, Oklahoma resident Hap Cudsmoker (Tulsa ‘82 grad) who won the Lotto 1.1 billion dollars drawing has offered 25 million to get Bill Self from Kansas!!  All true!!

Have a great sports week!

Bryan in Tulsa

?????????????? 

Faked Out Sports -Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes and tidbits:

B in T Bobblehead Sports:

I have been doing some babysitting the last few weeks and have become an expert on games such as Sorry, Monopoly, Life, Checkers, Uno, and Hot Wheels!!  Gus and Ana love these games and for some reason, my record is 0 - 265!  (just to save arguments!)  Game rules change in mid-competition when playing with grandson Gus!  In basketball, ? we play PIG, HORSE, and Around the World where the rules seem to always change to Gussie's favor!!  I have learned to use my post Stroke left hand which is becoming adaptive to boccia ball and basketball shooting but not to the scoring calculations of Gus!!

Tulsa Football receives Nebraska Offensive lineman from transfer portal!!  Wow, never thought I would write about Nebraska player transfers to play at little ole Tulsa but welcome Will Farniok, a 6’3” 295-pound sophomore who will have 3 years of eligibility left!!  He played in 4 games last year and was the second string center for the Huskers!!  Oh how could I forget Cody Green, a QB transfer from Nebraska in 1998!! 

B in T, To the OU dudes who ran into some ass-kicking MMA brothers at a bar:

‘If the dude has cauliflower ear, shush and drink your frickin beer!’

If you meet two brothers at a bar from Payne County, chances are they are wrestlers and just walk the other way!!  Just haul ass and run the other way!!  At TU in the late 70s beer mugs made good weapons!!  Just kidding, maybe!!

New 2021 Tulsa Football Schedule - B in T picks with NO BIAS!!

THURSDAY, SEP 2

UC Davis

TU 56 California dudes 9

SATURDAY, SEP 11

at Oklahoma State

TU 16 OSU 7

SATURDAY, SEP 18

at Ohio State

TU 17 OSU 7

SATURDAY, SEP 25

Arkansas State

TU 64 Arkansas State 13

FRIDAY, OCT 1

Houston

Tulsa 59 Houston 2

SATURDAY, OCT 9

Memphis

Tulsa 66 Memphis 16

SATURDAY, OCT 16

at USF

TU 45 USF 22

SATURDAY, OCT 23

OFF

FRIDAY, OCT 29

Navy

TU 62 Navy 3

SATURDAY, NOV 6

at Cincinnati

TU 56 Cincinnati 5

SATURDAY, NOV 13

at Tulane

TU 45 Tulane 19

SATURDAY, NOV 20

Temple

TU 55 Temple 31

SATURDAY, NOV 27

at SMU

TU 42 SMU 12

SATURDAY, DEC 4

American Championship

TU 103 Cincinnati 3

TU 56 Alabama 51  CFA Semi-Finals

TU 51 OU 49 CFA Finals

Tulsa Coach Montgomery becomes Dallas Cowboy coach in 2022!!

B in T becomes Tulsa’s next yuppie Mayor!!

NFL Rookie Zaven Collins (you guessed it from Tulsa University!) makes 340 tackles in one season, an all-time NFL record!  Of course he was drafted by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers!!

☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️

The future head coach of the Dallas Cowboys can make a good QB like Baker Mayfield a superstar!  He can make Kyler Murray a legend!!  He can take Jalen Hurts with an average

Have a great sports week!!

Faked Out Sports - B in T

Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes:

B in T Thoughts!

G.O.A.T. Tom Brady poops gold bricks according to a TMZ exclusive!!

No shat!!

I noticed that Tom Brady would not let his 6-year-old daughter hold the Super Bowl Trophy!!  His two older boys threw the trophy around like a plastic football!!  The football team party boats threw the Super Bowl trophy around like old George Blanda passes!!  Bet Giselle will take care of that shat!!  She wears the pants in dat family!

Looking out for the Redbirds!!

Are the Cardinals better than the billion-dollar payroll Dodgers after the Birds landed the best third baseman since Moses took grounders Ramses!!??  

The Nolan Areando acquisition makes the Cardinals the favorite in the National League Central and will offer the Padres and Dodgers some competition!!

Football during a pandemic is over, and what we will remember:  

No fans in the stands, then a few fans and some cardboard cutouts in quiet stadiums.

NFL daily Coronavirus testing and 3 times a week for college football testing.

The smell of hand sanitizer and nacho cheese can grow on ya!

FOS Zaven Draft watch:

The latest draft nerds have Tulsa’s Linebacker Zaven Collins going as the 16th pick to the Miami Dolphins!!  Is teal blue a thinning color??  Go Dolphins!!

FOS Bobbleheads

Bobblehead dolls for the majors were made, boxed, and never used in Pandemic 2020!!. Half a billion bobbleheads are in storage in a small town in Oklahoma that we will call Bobbletown!!  Some player bobbleheads have been traded and/or free agency to another team!!  So what can we accomplish with 500 million boxes of heads?  Finish the Trump wall?  Put the little fellas in the pandemic stadiums so they look more populated!!  Trade all the bobbleheads to China for more vaccines and cocaine!!

First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part takes an entirely different meaning!

.

1.   Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2.   The last thing I want to do is hurt you . . . but it's still on my list.

1. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public

4.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

1. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

1. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."

1. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

1. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

1. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 

1. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

1. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

1. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

Cuck the wold feather!!

Spread the Laughter, let's be happy while we're here.

Have a great sports week!!

FOS- B in T

Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

soonerpolitics.org

FOS Notes:

Treat your special someone with sports-related Valentine's Day gifts! 

1. A great gift for any spouse who loves watching bunnies play football - Brach’s chocolate-covered bunny carrying a Carmel NuGet stuffed Chocolate NFL official football ?!!
2. A subscription to Faked Out Sports can be purchased for 1.99 a month!  Great Valentines Day for the sports fan who likes to bust a gut!!
3. A dozen roses out of your favorites team colors!!  If your special honey bun loves the Oklahoma State Cowboys make them cry tears of joy (hopefully) with orange and black roses!!  Yes I said black roses!!
4. A beautiful heart-shaped cake with the entire 2021-22 schedule of your favorite team in blood-red icing!!  A particular meaning to be determined by the blood-red icing!!  This gift may not please a wifey poo but the sports maniac man of your life will love it!!
5. Beautiful lingerie for your wife with the colors of your favorite team and bouncy balls ? tassels included for no extra cost at the Pink Rose Boutique for Valentine's Day!!  Your wife may use this for her hubba bubba if that floats her boat!!

B in T updated chances for local schools to go dancing:

Tulsa - 20% - TU can't shoot and lately no D

Oklahoma - 97.89% - OU has some thoroughbreds

that can play D

Oklahoma State - 50% - Cade Cunningham makes them a shoo-in for the Dance but NCAA violations from former staff makes this year cloudy!

Arkansas - 80% - noncon schedule was a joke, but superstar freshman Moody makes them fun to watch!

ORU - 

A Super Bowl of nerds at a recent party who will remain nameless!

• Cheapscape - the dude who brings a partial six-pack of Natty Light and eats 4 plates of food!

• Blow up the bathroom dude - he will walk out of the bathroom and state that someone died in the toilet!

• The Lingerer - he will stay at the party until 30 minutes after it’s over, talking about politics or the stock market!

• The Chatty Patty - talks about Grocery sales at Sprouts through the whole stinking game!!  Might be a ‘Karen’!!  Never invite a ‘Karen’ to a party involving a ? ball!!

• Know it all dude - he played 1 year of 6th-grade football and knows more than Tom Brady!!  

• Skinny jeans young fart - hits on your wife while you are watching the Super Bowl!!

• Couch hog - this nerd takes up two spots on the prime couch spot and when he or she finally moves leaves the following:  hardened cheese;

      beer stains;

      Smashed chips;

      Small cat;

• Too Smart to watch football dude:  

      This person goes to 

      Super Bowl parties for

      spouse!! They simply 

      find an empty den and 

      read a book and 

      smokes a cigar or 

      joint!!  Talks to no one!

B in T Final Attempt at Yoga!

In yoga class, I have learned some new words and phrases that I might use in my sports stuff!!  Example: "please widen your anal blossoming stance Bryan"  also  "Bryan , please refrain from flatulating while doing rear flexes' and finally ' Mr Lohmeyer, there is NO grunting, howling, or cussing in yoga, and please modify your deep body bends to a less exposed position!!!   I do not think I will last much longer in this Yoga stuff!  Pilattes??  Thats coffee right??  Venti pilate mocha??  Right??  ??

Bobblehead Sports:

Why Parents Do Not Wear Masks to the YMCA Children Sporting Events:

1. Their children do not wear masks so mom and dad ain’t gonna!
2. Wearing a mask ? shows that you support communism and are not a patriot of the USA according to numerous folks who crashed the White House!!
3. The masks clash with their wife-beater t-shirts!!
4. They can show off the teeth they DO have!!

FOS College Basketball Picks:

Michigan 78 Illinois 75

The Big Ten knows how to recruit big tight ends in football and 6’7” slow power forwards and still win!!

Oklahoma 74 at West Virginia 72

The Sooners are tough with Barry Manilow Manek and Austin Reaves back in the lineup and healthy post coronavirus!!

Arkansas 88 at Missouri 85

Superstar, one and done Moses Moody from the Hogs lit up the Tigers for 21 in the second half and signed and shoe contract after the game!!  No shat!!

ORU 71 South Dakota State 68

The Golden Eagles get a huge road win in Brookings, South Dakota, and then immediately head to Fargo, North Dakota in a puddle jumper plane to find a McDonald's to get a Big Mac!!  The team was promised Micky Ds or a Big Foot hunt if they win and they picked the burgers!!

Oklahoma State 82 Kansas State 66

The OSU Cowboys are playing good tournament basketball under coach Boynton!!  He can recruit but can he coach in the tough as chicken gizzards Big 12 conference!!??  I like their chances in the big DANCE in Indianapolis if they are not excluded by the NCAA violations brah!!!

Have a great sports week!!

Bryan in Tulsa

Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

soonerpolitics.org

Bobblehead Sports:

I had the opportunity to see both my grandkid play basketball in the same night last week!  This is considered a ‘night on the town’ for Mimi and Papa!!  Ana dominated in her 4-year-old game making 4 of her team’s 5 baskets!  In Gustavo’s nightcap game Papa received a technical foul from his wife and daughter for being too loud!!  Both the rugrats came over the next day and presented a contract for Papa to sign agreeing to BE QUIET at their games in the future!!  If not, I must stay home and watch 48 Hours on TV!!  Contract attached:

FOS Notes:

Next Stoops Family Thanksgiving:

Rumors on the Dan Patrick Show and TMZ are HOT about Tennessee  Football!!  The assistant coaches at Tennessee handed out the money in McDonald's paper sacks as part of their recruiting spiel!!  There was nothing hidden and it was well known and expected by some Volunteers recruits!  The only difference from the Tulsa University late ’70s recruiting was the sacks for football recruits had actual McDonald Quarter pounders and fries in them!!

Where is TU All everything, Zaven Collins, playing Pro Football?

Cleveland Browns -  Baker and Zaven against the world!!  Cold weather, very plain city but they love their football!!

New Orleans Saints - Going from Hominy, Oklahoma to Bourbon street in New Orleans would be tough for most but Zaven is so grounded!!   I believe he will invite his old friend Bryan in Tulsa for Beignets and Hurricane drinks!!

Jacksonville Jaguars - Trevor Lawrence, Urban Meyer and Zaven Collins will make a great combination and a FOS Super Bowl projection for 2023!!

Miami Dolphins - Zaven has received 5 letters and notes from former Dolphins QB Dan Marino describing the Miami area as the best place to live in America!!  He also sent an autographed picture of himself and Jim Carrey in ‘Ace Ventura:  Pet Detective’!!

My Redbird’s Busch Stadium will allow 8,000 to 12,000 fans per game!!  With all the moves the Cardinals have NOT made this offseason 8,000 fans is a stretch!  Watching Matt Carpenter bat leadoff makes me long for the days of speedsters Willie McGee and Vince Coleman!!

FOS Big Dance in Indiana Projections:

Oklahoma - 90% - 7 Seed - OU coach Kruger is such a nice guy that all of Indiana wants him to play at their school facility!!

Oklahoma State - 92% - 8 seed if pardoned by Biden for NCAA violations 10 years ago!  WTF!  F=frick

Arkansas - 70% - 9 seed play in game!  The Razorback fans have gone hog wild over their basketball!!

Tulsa - 40% - second last 4 not to get in the NCAA Tourney!!  B in T projecting Tulsa to be 2 seed in the National Invitational Tournament in Fargo, North Dakota!

Oral Roberts - 50%- finally beats the large sycamore trees of the Dakotas and wins the postseason tournament!  Automatic bid and Hallelujah!!  The Prayer Tower works!!

FOS College Basketball Picks:

Big 12 - SEC Challenge:

Oklahoma 70 Alabama 65

The Sooners can beat the Tide basketball team but in football, the Sooners are a punching bag for the Tide!!  The Sooners are Grump Saban's biiooootch!!  Sooner coach Lon Kruger is the most delightful man in the history of college basketball coaches!!  On senior day he brought monogrammed tissues for each senior mom who balled!!  Ok, well, OU defeated the Tide with a barrage of 3s in the second half!!  Look out for these two teams in the big dance!!  

Oklahoma State 84 Arkansas 79

Hog’s coach Eric Musselman and Poke’s coach Eric Boynton are a couple of B in T‘s fav coaches!!  I like the way they handle themselves in public!  Each are eloquent and passionate at their craft!!  

Tennessee 74 Kansas 68

Kansas continues to play it’s NCAA seed into the play-in game at a high school somewhere in Indiana!!  Coach Self is good friends with Tennessee coach Rick Barnes from their Big 12 days!!  Both of the coaches decided to take their wives and attend dinner at Calhoun’s by the River!!  THE hot spot in Knoxville!!  Coach Barnes accepted the tab due to coach Self’s Jayhawk credit card is frozen by the NCAA investigations!!

Illinois 78 Iowa 77

Iowa's Luka Garza is destined to be the OKC Thunder’s next Steven Adams but with a nice shooting touch!!  The Illini Kofi Cockburn can score in bunches and he lit the Hawkeyes up for 24 and 11 rebounds. 

Tulsa 68 at East Carolina 61

Big game for the Hurricane who has been off for 2 weeks due to Coronavirus by their opponents!  Tulsa’s Brandon Rachel went crazy and scored 32 of TU’s 68 points with 8 rebounds, 4 assists, and 4 steals!!  Giant cardboard cutouts of Jerry Ososki and his stud son, Owen who just signed with Tulsa had to be placed on the second level so other cardboard fans could see!!  The Ostroski cardboard family travels with the basketball team as cardboard security!!  True shat!  Wikipedia it!!

Have a great sports week!

Faked Out Sports/Bryan in Tulsa