Faked Out Sports/Bryan in Tulsa
PUMPKIN MAN RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!! PUMPKIN MAN SIGHTINGS AT TULSA HILLS AND A YOUTH SOCCER GAME!!
FOS College Football Picks:
Tulsa 31 at USF 24
The crowd of Golden Hurricane fans was very sparse in Tampa, Florida due to Coronavirus concerns and high age risks!! A number of TU high-risk fans decided to have a watch party at Cains Ballroom in Tulsa!! The owner of Cains Ballroom, who will remain nameless, offered to charge a flat price for the game and supply a buffet catered by Western Sizzler!! Coronavirus Masks were required although numerous TU patrons wore Halloween masks!! Testosterone started to fly when two TU post-retirement age men argued over whether the Coronavirus was brought to the USA by China or from the same Aliens that make crop circles!! The gents gave each other fake hugs and commenced to watch the ’Cane kick some arse!!
Oklahoma State 35 Iowa State 31
The Cowboys are very focussed on winning their first Big 12 title in years!!In fact, they were so focussed that all of Cowboy Nation forgot to notice that coach Gundy whacked off his mullet!! In fact, his wife and the whole family had not noticed!! The Cowboys should start getting the same notoriety that coach Gundy and his mullet received!! Iowa State coach Campbell is protesting the game because one of the OSU wall paddlers threw a paddle attheir kicker and cracked his femur!!
Scouts from the Boca Raton Constipation Clinic Bowl were in Fort Worth to offer the winner of this game the first Bowl invite of the Bowl season!! Some of the Sooner faithful are still holding hope to be the first four-loss team invited to the final four of college football!! The other half of Sooner faithful want coach Grinch tarred and feathered, then buried in the sand with honey and killer red ants!! Typical former Heisman Trophy candidate Rattler day, with 340 yards, 4 TDs, and 4 interceptions!!
Minnesota 36 Michigan 24
Golden Gopher Quarterback Tanner Morgan put a 3 touchdown, 0 interception nail in the coffin of Michigan coach kaki!
Kansas State 42 Kansas 25
The Mildcats of Manhattan seems destined to the Big 12 title game at Jerry World against the Oklahoma State Cowboys!! Kansas coach Miles is destined to do more Dr. Pepper Fanville commercials!
Texas Tech treats the Mountain men like the Red Raider mascot wears his black mask and tights!! Very disgusting!!
SMU 35 Cincinnati 31
The Ponies put the Bearcats away with a late touchdown pass from QB Shane Beuschel with 35 seconds remaining!!
Ohio State 48 Nebraska 24
BIG 10 FOOTBALL IS FINALLY BACK!! Nebraska wishes it were not in Columbus!!
Alabama 41 at Tennessee 31
The Crimson Tide and Grumpy are looking to schedule the Dallas Cowboys next year for an easy non-conference win!!
Notre Dame 42 at Pittsburg 31
The luck of the Irish continues in the City of Steel!!
Texas 42 Baylor 28
Texas coach Hermann is as popular in Austin as President Trump is in China!!
FOS High School Picks:
???????????????PUMPKIN MAN LURKS AT ANOTHER HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME IN OKLAHOMA??????????
Owasso 48 at Mustang 31
Two 6A powerhouses battle for the right to play Missouri State in the Quaalude Bowl in Bangor, Maine!! Mustang is the Jenks of the OKC area!! Here are the Mustang/Owasso game over/under for:
1. Tahoes in the parking lot is -1350
2. Fur coats on Mustang side -350
3. Fur coats on Owasso side -9
4. Black Tight-fitting Spandex pants - 935
Take the over on all!
Broken Arrow 42 at Edmond Sante Fe 34
Another haymaker with the west side!! The Tigers are road warriors in the latter part of the football season!!
Union 42 Norman North 21
Norman North has tremendous size for a west side team! Union has more unbridled young talent in a down year for Union!!!!
Jenks 52 Yukon 27
The Jenks team moms are called the Trojan War Horse Mothers!! They are responsible forThursday team meals, team mom cowbells with player number, and of course, preparing the team bus with balloons and to-go snacks!! The moms are super but if you yell at her son in a game she will cut out your spleen!!
Bixby 56 at Muskogee 28
The Bixby Spartans are rated 7th in the nation by the USA Today high school football poll!! This The Bixby youngsters were placed on 3 brand new state of the art buses sponsored by Dr. Stevens DDS!! These buses have mini kitchen pantries for the players and a large bar for the Spartan Boosters!!
BTW 44 at Ponca City 12
With BTW’s top 2021 player in Oklahoma, Gentry Williams recovering with a blown ACL the talent just keeps reloading on the north side of T Town!!
Bishop Kelley 38 at East Central 18
???ALERT- Pumpkin Man was seen at the Tulsa Hills shopping center handing out Fake Vampire Teeth to the young people! These teeth were nonedible due to the Coronavirus!! Thank you Pumpkin Man!! Later in the evening the Man known as Pumpkin was spotted at the BK vs EC football game at the East Central Stadium!! Pumpkin Man went millennial and handed out Halloween treats such as tofu candy corn, gluten-free Rice Krispie Treats, and Pumpkin mint dental floss!!
Claremore 62 Nathan Hale 6
My Hale Rangers are having a tough 2020 but have played each game with pride and determination!! As soon as we get some Jenks players to move into the 21st and Sheridan area we will get our revenge!!
Pryor 35 at Sapulpa 34
Pryor foreign exchange student from Yugoslavia, Slov Lambrusko
kicked a 53 yard field goal as time ran out!!
Wagoner 45 Oologah 26
The Bulldogs may run the table this year!! What's new!?
Cushing 42 at Blanchard 31
There was a lot of controversy as the Cushing double-decker streamline team bus headed toBlanchard!! A number of Tiger Rights Activists (TRA) showed up to stop the Cushing bus as it arrived at the game!! It turns out they were protesting the arrival of the team blowup tiger which defames tigers in Oklahoma!! The money backing this organization came from the Carol Baskin foundation!! A small donation from the Cushing Morrill Family allowed the Tiger’s blowup head to be blown!! The game was a huge win for Cushing as they strive for home-field advantage in the playoffs!! Cushing player #10, received no personal penalties and his mom took him to Braums for a Banana Split without bananas!!
The Maroons have a three-win season for the first time since my brother Mike was all-Kay County Defensive Lineman and FFA King Moo runner-up!! The Chisolm team immediately went dove hunting after the game!! The doves were given glow in the dark feed and unleashed into the wild for night dove hunting!!
The Buccaneers of Tonkawa are getting in playoff condition......again! Cousin Charlie is the Grand Marshall of the Tonkawa Halloween Parade!! Mysteriously he was dressed as Pumpkin Man and threw out Coronavirus safe wrapped pumpkin bread!!
Again great moms from both sides!! The main difference between the two teams came down to lamb wool shaving!! There is an art to shaving Lambswool and the Hinton moms have mastered it!! They have created a machine similar to the cow milking machine, to shave Lambswool!! Do not get the machines confused!!
FOS Diner of the week: Hinton - Gloria’s Kitchen - 1206 Broadway Street, Hinton. Gloria’s Kitchen is known for her giant chicken fried steak that in some cases covers the entire table!! The late great wrestler Haystack Calhoun weighed just north of 450lbs during his hay day (no pun intended )! Haystack once ate two chicken fried steaks at one sitting at Gloria’s!! True shat!!
Cascia Hall 42 Pacola 20
The Cascia old fart dads had their annual homecoming burger cookout and talked about the old days of chasing cheerleaders and smoking a fatty behind the gym!! A couple of old fart Pacola dads joined the group and were offered a burger but declined when they found out that the Cascia hamburger meat was not 100% USDA prime choice!! The Pacola old fart dads brought some Bud Light Platinum beer and all old farts had fun together despite their opposite sides!!
FOS NFL Picks:
Browns 31 at Bengals 28
The Browns running game is very strong and Baker Mayfield has been sacked 50% less than last year! Baker thought it would be nice to take his offensive line to dinner at the Picadilly Cafeteria all you can eat buffet!! Big spender Mayfield! Not.
Cowboys 45 at Washington 38
The Cowboy’s defensive awfulness can only be matched by Washington’s defensive awfulness!! With Cowboy QB Dak Prescott out, Colin Kapernick made his Cowboy debut with 320 yards passing!! Jerry Jones may have to liquidate 20% of the team to cover Daks paycheck!!
The Broncos have gone through quarterbacks like Trump goes through Press Secretaries!! The Chiefs tight end Kelsey needs two security guards to walk him to his car each day because of a female stalker stripper whom he met at the local grocery store!!
Packers 37 at Texans 24
The Texans fired GM Bill O’Brien and Head Coach Bill O’Brien!! When you get rid of future HOFamer receiver Andre Hopkins and have no defined receivers replacement, you should be fired!! Texans D-lineman Watts is contemplating retiring and doing WWE Championship Wrestling as Dr. Death!!
Bears 27 at Rams 20
The Rams QB Jerrod Goff can scramble if he has big lineman chasing him! The Ram’s could not handle the Bear’s defensive line and melted like butter!! The Bears seem to have better luck with QB Trubinsky at the helm! The Bear’s backup QB Nick Foles has playoff experience but he is not a starter!! He is more of a reliever!!
FOS Words of wisdom from the unwise one: If writing and you receive more complaints the View, it might be time to hang up the blue laddie pencils ✏️!!
Have a great sports week!
Faked Out Sports- B in T
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October 22, 2020 at 05:07AM
Texas Coach Herman has a Very Hot Seat!
Read the full report at Faked Out Sports.