From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
Senate President Pro Tempore Cal Hobson, D-Lexington, observed Riley passing the note during debate for the governor’s cigarette tax proposal. Following acknowledgement of her action, Riley was asked to read the note before the entire Senate.
Following the praise of Reynolds, the note turned to inquiries about Wilcoxson’s weekend plans, specifically whether or not she was going to get her hair done. The message closed with a brief criticism of the dress worn by Sen. Penny Williams, D-Tulsa. Riley said she was “totally embarrassed” by the public reading and vowed to criticize Hobson’s hair in future notes.
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From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – If legislators are good boys and girls, and get a state budget compiled, they will get a puppy, Gov. Brad Henry announced last week.
The offer is the latest in a series of political maneuvers as Democrats and Republicans wrestle over appropriations issues. “I’ve thought it over and, if the Legislature can produce a budget that incorporates funding for all-day kindergarten, we’ll go to the pound and get a puppy,”
Henry said.
“Yay!” said state Democrats. “Certainly, we had hoped for puppy and ice cream, but we are willing to compromise,” said Senate appropriation chair Johnnie Crutchfield, D-Ardmore However, soon after the announcement of the offer, Republican leadership accused the governor of playing politics.
“The cuteness of puppies notwithstanding, we reject the governor’s attempts to woo the Legislature,”
said House Speaker Todd Hiett, R-Kellyville. Hiett said Henry had used the tactic in the past, most recently when he promised to take lawmakers to Six Flags if they backed his education lottery bill. While Republicans rejected the puppy proposal, they did leave the door open for future negotiation.
“I want a pony,”
said House Speaker Pro Tem Susan Winchester.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
Rep. Wayne Pettigrew accused his fellow Republicans this week of actively trying to undermine his political career in retaliation for his support of all Democratic proposals that attract media attention.
“This mean-spirited attack simply reduces Republican chances of gaining control of the Oklahoma House of Representatives and illustrates the need for the type of non-partisan leadership I provide in front of cameras each and every day,”
Pettigrew said. The Edmond Republican first suspected his popularity in the Republican caucus had ebbed when he was reassigned to a new office that he later learned doubled as a public bathroom/leper colony. He said those suspicions were further confirmed when he was given cleanup duty in the office. Republicans said the relocation was strategic.
“He’s pretty much full of shit, so craphole seemed like the perfect office,”
said sixty-five representatives who agreed to speak only on the promise of anonymity. Pettigrew said tensions worsened this week when all 47 of his Republican colleagues signed an endorsement letter mass-mailed throughout his district urging voters to support “anyone but Pettigrew.” Fundraising woes have also plagued Pettigrew’s re-election efforts since he learned the Chickasaw Nation’s pledge of contributions in return for a vote to legalize Las Vegas gambling in elementary schools would be paid in “smart cards” for tribal slot machines.
Pettigrew said his requests for financial contributions from other Republicans have been met with stony silence at best and maniacal laughter in other cases. “I think the Republicans may not be happy with me,” he said. In response, the House Republican caucus issued a press packet titled: “No Shit Sherlock: The case against braking for Wayne Pettigrew in the Parking Lot.” The packet included papers and instructions that would allow Pettigrew to change political parties. Democrats countered with their own release titled: For the love of God, stay Republican. Pettigrew said Republican hostility appeared to coincide with his string of 3,471 consecutive votes with the Democratic majority, a feat not matched since former state Rep. Fred Brooks, R-Tulsa, was indicted for bribery and kickbacks in the 1970s.
Democratic leaders openly acknowledge that Pettigrew has become a more dependable vote for their positions than Rep. Roy McClain, D-Tulsa and approximately 30 other members of the 52- member Democratic caucus. Prior to becoming the Democrats’ favorite Republican, Pettigrew was best known for legislation calling for Oklahoma to secede from the Union. That bill would have also replaced the current state flag with a Confederate Battle Flag that incorporated the image of “the finger” being flown at passers-by.
Pettigrew’s other notable legislative contribution is a bill to mandate the use of 1940s-era civics books in public schools that refer to the civil rights struggle as “trouble ahead.” In spite of receiving the cold shoulder from many Republicans in recent days, Pettigrew said he believes the “silent majority” still admire his “no nonsense” approach to pandering. “I really think I could be speaker of the House someday,” he said. His colleagues appear bewildered by that optimism. “How can a man with such bizarre hair be so oblivious to consistent criticism, ridicule and hurling of feces?” asked Rep. Lance Cargill, R-Harrah.
Others phrased their views in theological terms, with Catholic members seeing Pettigrew as punishment for their sins and Protestants viewing him as a sign of the impending Apocalypse. “Wayne Pettigrew has an ego of Biblical proportions,” said Rep. Forrest Claunch, R-Midwest City and noted Biblical scholar, “and there can be little doubt that he is the anti-Christ.”
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
By Raymond Gary, Partisan Staff Reporter
In the past two years, oil has surged past children as Oklahoma’s most precious natural resource, an industry analyst said last week. Gordon McLain, speaking at a luncheon for energy executives and state lawmakers, said aggressive incentives for oil and gas companies would prove far more profitable than spending money on the state’s children.
"In the next three to five years, oil will continue to move to $60 or $70 a barrel. At the same time, we see the market for children continuing to decline,“
said McLain.
"Given the state’s limited budget, it would generate more wealth to invest in oil, rather than spending the time and money it takes to make the average child profitable."
In recent weeks, energy and education forces have squared off over House Bill 1715, which exempts certain oil and gas related equipment from ad valorem taxes at the expense of state schools. Rep. Kevin Calvey, the measure’s author, said McLain’s presentation showed the need for the state to stop putting our children ahead of big energy companies.
"Devon has seen billions in profit over the past three years. In the same time span, the average child has barely learned to speak or walk upright. Which do you think is more profitable?"
said Calvey, R-Del City.
Faced with McLain’s charts and graphs, even skeptical lawmakers conceded that children were a nearly worthless natural resource.
After speaking with McClain, Gov. Brad Henry announced he would no longer seeking funding for all-day kindergarten. "Lottery tickets are a better deal,” said Henry. Supporters of the state’s struggling child industry say the market could be improved through decreased government regulation. Currently, child production and storage is governed by extensive feed, abuse and neglect laws that eat into profit margins.
Child officials are calling for increased funding for production, as well as the abolition of treatment standards, which they say will allow the child labor industry to compete with oil and gas companies. “Children are our most precious natural resource,” said advocates. “Until you run out of gas,” replied McLain.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
We’re working on a few stories, but football is also exciting. More stories will post next week.
– GOP may replace Hiett with someone who doesn’t scare children.Fun with state statutes: |
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Frank Shurden, D-Henrietta |
“I am the cockfight king!”
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
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Rep. Mike O'neal, R-Enid |
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
Others say that David Walters or Steve Lewis was trying to get into the lobbying racket…
– AARP backs legislation to get those damn kids off their lawn
– Debate over competing appropriations bills intensifies: ‘Yo mama’s unconstitutional’
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
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Rep. Darrell Gilbert, D-Tulsa, says he prefers the “Next-Generation” -era uniform to its “Voyager” and “Deep Space Nine” counterparts. |
“As the captain of the USS District 72, I feel it is my duty to fight for all of my Federation, whether they be human, Vulcan, Andorian or even Tellarite.”
The Oklahoma Partisan
In 2004 & 2005, an anonymous group of journalist/artists compiled a library of what then was contemporary humor surrounding Oklahoma state government. Sadly the venture only lasted a couple years. But the Oklahoma Partisan was a gem of political comedy.
Today most of these characters of focus are no longer in the public arena. But the levity provided at their expense served to help the closely divided legislature to laugh at their colleagues. The truly humble among them even laughed when the joke was on them.
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