Golden Rule, Beatitudes among sections deemed incompatible with GOP agenda
By Lee Cruce, Partisan Staff Reporter
One week into the 50th Legislative Session, House Republicans have forced through a bill that would amend the New Testament of the Holy Bible. Rep. John Trebilcock, R-Broken Arrow, said the changes were necessary to remove certain contradictions with orthodox GOP ideology.
"Clearly, it's embarrassing that so many aspects of our platform are opposed to key Christian principles. Saturated as we are in Social Darwinist special-interest money, we feel it would be easier and more efficient to simply amend the Bible" said Trebilcock.
Among the passages to be edited is Matthew 7:1, commonly referred to as "The Golden Rule." Traditionally, this verse admonishes readers to treat others as they would like to be treated. However, under the Republican package, the line would be modified to specifically exclude homosexuals."This is America. (Homosexuals) can do whatever they want in their own homes," said Sen. James Williamson, R-Tulsa, who will carry the bill in the Senate. "However, once they try to get me to treat them with the same dignity and respect that I would expect myself, then we have a problem."
Williamson says another troublesome section is Matthew 5:1-12, also known as "The Beatitudes." In these brief sayings, Jesus comforts people who would be omitted from Republican proposals, such as the poor, the sick and the meek.
Under the republican amendments, "Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill" has been changed to, "Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice, up until $300,000, for thine Legislative Leaders have not agreed to any 'moratorium' on tort reform, and plan to make the issue a major component of our platform in the upcoming session."
Trebilcock said that, in future legislation, Republicans would move to Old Testament revision, seeking to expand the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah to cover liberal voters