Bryan in Tulsa
To my beloved senior Bobbleheads:
Bryan in Tulsa has 3 super senior Bobbleheads that I am the mostest proud to say read my stupid and sometimes funny blog!! Our aunt and uncle are in a nursing home in Plano, Texas, and never miss criticizing my blog!! Thurston is 95 and has a wit wittier than most!! He reads to our beloved aunt Pat and she laughs but has a difficult time understanding my warped humor!! This is understandable!I have a new reader who was an all-American at Boston College in 1950!! Bill is my 96 years old reader whose son and daughter-in-law are good friends! They read B in T to him weekly!! If these three were my only readers I would send out my goofy-ass blog every morning feeling blessed that these senior Bobbleheads have a smile on their face!!??
B in T Notes:
B in T Future Sports Figures Presidential Odds:
Lebron James - G.O.A.T. of the NBA - he can step on North Korea / 5 to 1 odds
Mark Cuban - Dallas Mavericks owner - He will be a shark President! / 7 to 1
Bob Stoops - former OU football coach - and from Iowa, blue-collar midwest vote is all his / 25 to 1
Barry Switzer - former OU and Dallas Cowboy coach - will hang a half a hundred on Russia! Just the right age!! 75 to 1
Roger Goodell - NFL Commissioner - hell no - a billion to 1
Tom Brady - NFL Quarterback - G.O.A.T. - wife Giselle as First Lady gets my vote and all the female Tommy Brady lovers will vote for him no matter the party!!
B in T Halloween Best and Worst Candies!
MOST POPULAR HALLOWEEN CANDY:
1. Twix 2. Any Marijuana Edibles (must have proof of age) 3. Tootsie Pops 4. Peanut M&Ms 5. Almond Joy 6. Starburst 7. Kit Kat 8. Butterfingers 9. Sour Patch Kids 10. Plain M&Ms
LEAST POPULAR HALLOWEEN TREATS IN 2021:
1-3 Dental Hygiene items: Toothbrush, Toothpaste and Dental Floss! My wife is a hygienist and we went 3 years without a trick or treater!
Where is Booker T stud Gentry Williams going to school?
OU - 2 to 1 He and Micah Tease already have signed NIL deals with Landers Chevrolet!!
Florida - 10 to 1 Good NIL potential and great weather!!
Southern Cal - 70 to 1. And WHO is their coach? NO ONE!
Mizzou - 1 million to 1 - WHY?
**After publishing Gentry picked his college home to be OU and stay close to his family home!! Still waiting on Micah Tease's decision. But as usual I was correct!!
Pumpkin Man spotted Halloween Eve!
From 6 till 8:30 pm Pumpkin Man appears at Hallozooween and hands out non-hooch real candy to thousands of toddlers at the Tulsa Zoo!! At 8:30 the Munster Mobile (from the TV show the Munsters) picks Pumpkin Man up and rushes hi to the Hex House!! The Tulsa Hex House is one of the top 15 scariest houses in America according to Fox News!! Pumpkin Man handed out thousands of edibles to the scared shatless crowd at the Town West Shopping Center which is home to the Hex House!!
College Scores with Halloween ? Theme! ?????????.
Tulsa 31 Navy 21 Friday Night Lights on ESPN !
Note: The TU Tailgators are having a BEAN Theme tailgate party from 2:30 till kickoff or fart-off at 6:30!! Next Friday the 29th!!
Tulsa is looking for a possible bowl bid but faces a Tulane, Cincinnati, and SMU gauntlet on the road!! Tulsa’s defensive front led by Jaxson Player will be tested but Tulsa had two weeks to prepare for the Navy's bone!! The TU defense worked out behind closed practices per coach Monte!! Defensive coordinator Gillespie had the boys practice against 8 offensive linemen, 3 fullbacks, and 5 halfbacks on the scout team simulating the Navy's bone!! Probably should rephrase that sentence. Jaxson Player had 12 TFLs (tackles for loss) and 6 scout team dudes quit the team from fear!! Too much Player! Coach Monte rewarded the team for their intense prep work for Navy by feeding 150, 16oz T-bone steaks, and watching the new Halloween Kills movie!! Tulsa kills the Navy on the football field the next day!! The movie is typical Halloween but not too bad!!
Oklahoma 59 Texas Tech 22
OU Heisman candidate QB Caleb Williams took all the snaps against the Red Raiders and completed 21 of 28 passes for 402 yards and 5 TDs!! OU's second Heisman candidate RB Kennedy Brooks rushed for 164 yards on 13 carries!! Former OU Heisman candidate QB Spencer Rattler did not take a snap but did run 13 Charlies Chicken commercials on the Learfield Sooner Network!! After the game ended Rattler wore a human billboard for Charlies ? Chicken!! He refused to wear the full chicken costume, even on ?Halloween!! Transfer portal here comes Rattler!!
Ohio State 31 Penn State 21
Don't forget about the Buckeyes!! They are looming in the background like Michael Myers for Jami Lee Curtis!!
Michigan 28 at Michigan State 24
Michigan coach Khaki has scared away all his critics!! He has put on his scary Jason Friday the 13th face ?and started coaching like his brother with the Ravens by Edgar Allen Poe!!
Kentucky 41 at Mississippi State 35
Mississippi coach Mike Leach is a paranormal believer!! He once set up a seance to bring back Mouse Davis, the run and shoot offense guru, but discovered he was still alive when he showed up to his own personal seance!! True story! I swear!!
Oklahoma State 49 Kansas 13
OSU backup QB Shane Illingsworth (Ichabod Crane) played the entire second half and completed 10 of 13 passes for 170 yards and 2 TDs!! A spooky thing happened at a Posse Club Halloween party after the game!! Coach Gundy showed up with a fake bald head with his Uncle Fester of the Adams Family costume!! The big donors were very scared!!
Ole Miss 38 at Auburn 26
Ole Miss brought back their defense from the grave and buried the Auburn Tigers alive!!!
Boston College 35 at Syracuse 31
The Orangemen have discovered that they can occasionally be good with the oval-shaped ball ? and not just the round ? one!! On the other hand, the BC Eagles are on a roll and slowed down Syracuse on their home court, oops I meant to say home field!! The term Orangemen is not attached to Pumpkin ? Man and is simply a nickname for the sports teams at Syracuse!! Then we must ask why not OrangeWOMEN!!!????
Huh!! Boom!! Must have WOMEN!!! I digress.......
Texas 35 at Baylor 27
One more loss and Coach Sarkesian will be looking over his shoulder for the Grim Reaper aka Texas Board of Regents!!
Iowa State 31 at West Virginia 13
Anytime you visit Morgantown you should watch the horror flick The Hills Have Eyes!! Clones pluck the Mountaineers!!
Florida 31 Georgia 28
The Gators surprise the Bulldogs like Freddie Kruger from Nightmare on Elm Street scared his new manicurist!!
Iowa 24 at Wisconsin 16
Two weeks ago Iowa forgot how to play football at Purdue!! The Hawkeyes D can be scary good!! But the offense needs to be scared shat-less to perform at its maximum potential!! Wisconsin scared them fo sho!!
High School Scores with Halloween Theme!!??????
Cushing 36 Ada 31
The Cushing players applied their orange pumpkin face painting skills for the game!! The rain caused the player faces to look like Smashing Pumpkins!! Joke haha very not funny... Cushing’s QB Berkowitz does not sound like a top QB in Oklahoma football, but more like the name of a New York undercover cop on the edge!!
Union 52 Muskogee 13
The Union Football Team massacred the the Roughers on Halloween Eve Eve!! The Muskogee team was scared by creepy things in the visitor's locker room when Rougher players and coaches were shocked to learn that shower and sink faucets can be turned on by simply waving your ? or ? in front of the faucet!! Numerous visiting players think the faucets at Union are HAUNTED!
Owasso 45 Moore 24
The Moore Lions spooked the Holy shat out of the Rams!! After falling behind 24 to 17 the defensive coordinator for Owasso had a come to Jesus meeting with his defense at halftime!! So after he read a scripture from Proverbs he immediately told his defense that if they give up 1 single point he will kick their butts to HEf??!!! Final score 45 to 24 Rams!!!
Alva 36 Blackwell 20
Two nights before Halloween the Gold Hornets infested the armpits of the Maroons from Blackwell!! The winner of this game will be playoff-bound!!
Coweta 38 Bishop Kelley 27
The Comets from Kelley played the Tigers from Coweta very close!! The game was delayed for 1 hour when numerous bats ? escaped from the local Coweta haunted Hex House!! The bats were netted and removed from Tiger Field by Coweta Animal Protection Services!! Numerous cheerleaders from both sides screamed and cried!! This happened, trust me!
Roland 35 Cascia Hall 28
The Roland Rangers defeated the Cascia Hall Commandos on this Erie Friday Night in Roland!! The crowd in Roland was packed after rumors that cast member from Jeepers Creeper 4 were in the crowd signing autographs in blood!!
Bixby 66 at Ponca City 12
The Bixby Spartans sucked the blood out of the Ponca City Lions Friday night!! Superstar and soon-to-be OSU Cowboys Brayden Pressley must have been a ghost to the Lion defense cause no one could see him speed past defenders all night!!
Holland Hall 48 at Verdigris 28
Verdigris tried to turn their home field into a big spooky ? house!! But the Dutch from Holland Hall went through the Verdigris Cardinals spook house (football field) without fear!!
Broken Arrow 38 at Norman 21
BA puts a nail into the Norman playoff coffin!! Downtown the BA Chamber of Commerce had a zombie walk in which the costumed walkers were confused with normal patrons!!
Jenks 55 Edmond Memorial 14
The Jenks Trojans mummified Edmond Memorial Bulldogs!!
Cardinals 48 Packers 31
2021 NFL MVP Kylar Murray threw for 356 yards and 4 touchdowns!! He ran for 68 yards and 1 touchdown!! After the game he, former TU stud Zaven Collins and JJ Watt had a huge haunted house party in a barn in Hominy, Oklahoma!! The invitees were the whole team, friends and family members which were flown to Tulsa and Limousined to Hominy in Dawn of the Dead costumes!! This happened!! I was there!! I swear!!
Browns 24 Steelers 21
The Browns spooked the shat out of Steeler QB Frankenburger!!
Cowboys 35 at Vikings 27
The Cowboys Bela Lagosied the Vikings on Halloween night!!
Bears 26 49ers 21
The Bears from Chitown sucked the blood out of the blood-sucking 49ers!!
Chiefs 38 Giants 10
The Wittle Chieffy Wieffies demolished the worst team in the NFL on Halloween ? and Zombied their bodies!! Not sure what that means but is scary sounding!!
Have a great sports week!!
October 27, 2021 at 09:38PM
Next Sports Presidential Candidate
Read the full report at Faked Out Sports.
Faked Out Sports
Bryan brings a great take and lively coverage of the many faces of Oklahoma and national sports.