WASHINGTON D.C.—The FBI has introduced an advanced new CSI technique for determining whether or not a person is guilty of a crime: pausing a video of the person while making an unpleasant face. “If a person makes a meany-guy-face even for one part of a second, we’ve nailed them,” said FBI director Marlon Quinn. “They are obviously guilty; otherwise, why would they make a meany-face?”
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