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For His Safety Lifeguard Waits An Hour For Backup Before Jumping In To Save Struggling Swimmer

5/27/2022

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SAN FERNANDO, CA—A lifeguard at the San Fernando Community Pool reportedly refused to jump in and save a drowning child who was fighting for his life in 6 feet of water because it would constitute risking his life. The lifeguard in question, Peter Stroll, claimed to be following standard lifeguarding procedure.

The post For His Safety, Lifeguard Waits An Hour For Backup Before Jumping In To Save Struggling Swimmer appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


For His Safety, Lifeguard Waits An Hour For Backup Before Jumping In To Save Struggling Swimmer,
May 27, 2022 at 04:25PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

Click on the headline to read the full article at The Babylon Bee
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Guns Should Not Be In The Hands Of The Mentally Unstable Says Senile Man With Nukes

5/27/2022

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—A senile old man in Washington who has a deadly nuclear arsenal at his fingertips is calling for dangerous weapons to be taken out of the hands of the mentally unstable.

The post ‘Guns Should Not Be In The Hands Of The Mentally Unstable,’ Says Senile Man With Nukes appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


‘Guns Should Not Be In The Hands Of The Mentally Unstable,’ Says Senile Man With Nukes,
May 27, 2022 at 02:53PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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Obama Encourages Americans To Pause This Memorial Day To Remember The Sacrifice Of George Floyd

5/27/2022

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MARTHA’S VINEYARD, MA—From his coastal estate that will probably be underwater in ten years, former President Barack Obama issued a statement today encouraging Americans to honor Memorial Day by remembering the sacrifice of George Floyd.

The post Obama Encourages Americans To Pause This Memorial Day To Remember The Sacrifice Of George Floyd appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Obama Encourages Americans To Pause This Memorial Day To Remember The Sacrifice Of George Floyd,
May 27, 2022 at 01:35PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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Are You A Racist? Take The Quiz!

5/27/2022

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Are You A Racist? Take The Quiz!,
May 27, 2022 at 12:22PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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NASA Scientists Discover Tiny Black Hole Between Driver's Seat And Middle Console

5/27/2022

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OXFORD, MS—Physicists have pulled back the curtain on one of life's greatest mysteries, discovering the existence of miniature black holes between a car's driver seat and the middle console. 

The post NASA Scientists Discover Tiny Black Hole Between Driver's Seat And Middle Console appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


NASA Scientists Discover Tiny Black Hole Between Driver's Seat And Middle Console,
May 27, 2022 at 11:50AM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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LeBron Confused By Hockey Players Who Get Back Up After Getting Knocked Down

5/27/2022

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LOS ANGELES, CA—With nothing to do during basketball playoffs, LeBron James turned on a hockey game and was shocked to see players somehow getting back to their feet after being knocked over.

The post LeBron Confused By Hockey Players Who Get Back Up After Getting Knocked Down appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


LeBron Confused By Hockey Players Who Get Back Up After Getting Knocked Down,
May 27, 2022 at 10:31AM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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Parents Begin Disguising School Buildings As The Capitol So Congress Will Spend Billions To Protect Them

5/27/2022

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U.S.—Parents across the nation have begun disguising their kids' elementary schools as the Capitol Building in D.C. so the government will approve funding to keep them secure.

The post Parents Begin Disguising School Buildings As The Capitol So Congress Will Spend Billions To Protect Them appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Parents Begin Disguising School Buildings As The Capitol So Congress Will Spend Billions To Protect Them,
May 27, 2022 at 10:03AM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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Report: You Should Hug Your Kids Right This Instant

5/26/2022

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The post Report: You Should Hug Your Kids Right This Instant appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Report: You Should Hug Your Kids Right This Instant,
May 26, 2022 at 05:29PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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Summer Activities To Enjoy With Your Libertarian Kid

5/26/2022

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Brought to you by:

The post Summer Activities To Enjoy With Your Libertarian Kid appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Summer Activities To Enjoy With Your Libertarian Kid,
May 26, 2022 at 04:39PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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Beto Interrupts Press Conference To Remind Everyone He's A Giant Turd

5/26/2022

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AUSTIN, TX—As leadership in Texas held a press conference to give updates on the tragic school shooting in Uvalde, candidate for governor Beto O'Rourke took the time to drop by and remind everyone he's a giant turd. 

The post Beto Interrupts Press Conference To Remind Everyone He's A Giant Turd appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Beto Interrupts Press Conference To Remind Everyone He's A Giant Turd,
May 26, 2022 at 04:17PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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