WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a shocking speech to the press Monday, President Trump said the libs and media could destroy the economy with their coronavirus fearmongering, and he would raise it up in three days.

The post Trump: 'Destroy This Economy And I Will Raise It Up In Three Days' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—Americans have reported they're very optimistic about the stimulus package passed by Congress last week. In particular, people all around the country are excited to get paid with a little bit of the money that they paid the federal government already.

The post Americans Excitedly Anticipate Getting Paid With Their Own Money appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

PHILADELPHIA, PA—In an effort to make their candidate seem relevant, the Biden campaign has announced a new podcast that will be available exclusively on vinyl.

The post Biden's New Podcast Available Exclusively On Vinyl appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

BACKWATERTON, AR—Local man Rayford Williams has been in a coma for the past month, so he was excited to get back to his church family. Unfortunately, he was totally unaware of the COVID-19 outbreak, which has caused most churches to move their services online.

The post Man In Coma For Past Month Arrives At Church, Assumes He's Been Left Behind appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

ATLANTA, GA—In an effort to help curb the spread of Coronavirus, Chick-fil-a has announced that it will temporarily be changing its advertising slogan from "Eat Mor Chikin" to "Eat Fewer Bats."

The post Chick-Fil-A Temporarily Changes Slogan To 'Eat Fewer Bats' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, DC— Members of Congress told reporters Friday they can’t wait to read through the massive economic stimulus package they passed earlier today in response to the Coronavirus crisis.

The post Congress Excited To Find Out What’s In Stimulus Package They Just Passed
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USA--As part of a sweeping initiative to help unclog the economic constipation caused by the coronavirus quarantine, the White House announced they are printing out fresh, crisp dollar bills for every US citizen.

The post Toilet Paper Crisis Solved As Government Prints Trillions Of Fresh, Soft Dollar Bills appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

STUDIO CITY, CA--

The post Hallmark Channel Announces 19 New Coronavirus-Themed Movies appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

ORANGE, CA— After becoming a bit bored with being cooped up in their house, the Palmer family took a weekend vacation to their guest room. “It’s just nice to every so often have a change of scenery and expand the mind,” said Colleen Palmer.

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This is the Babylon Bee interview podcast.

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