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Trump: 'Destroy This Economy And I Will Raise It Up In Three Days'

3/30/2020

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Trump: 'Destroy This Economy And I Will Raise It Up In Three Days',
March 30, 2020 at 01:48PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a shocking speech to the press Monday, President Trump said the libs and media could destroy the economy with their coronavirus fearmongering, and he would raise it up in three days.

The post Trump: 'Destroy This Economy And I Will Raise It Up In Three Days' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


via The Babylon Bee
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Americans Excitedly Anticipate Getting Paid With Their Own Money

3/30/2020

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Americans Excitedly Anticipate Getting Paid With Their Own Money,
March 30, 2020 at 12:17PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

U.S.—Americans have reported they're very optimistic about the stimulus package passed by Congress last week. In particular, people all around the country are excited to get paid with a little bit of the money that they paid the federal government already.

The post Americans Excitedly Anticipate Getting Paid With Their Own Money appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


via The Babylon Bee
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Biden's New Podcast Available Exclusively On Vinyl

3/30/2020

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Biden's New Podcast Available Exclusively On Vinyl,
March 30, 2020 at 11:22AM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

PHILADELPHIA, PA—In an effort to make their candidate seem relevant, the Biden campaign has announced a new podcast that will be available exclusively on vinyl.

The post Biden's New Podcast Available Exclusively On Vinyl appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


via The Babylon Bee
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Man In Coma For Past Month Arrives At Church Assumes He's Been Left Behind

3/30/2020

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Man In Coma For Past Month Arrives At Church, Assumes He's Been Left Behind,
March 30, 2020 at 10:26AM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

BACKWATERTON, AR—Local man Rayford Williams has been in a coma for the past month, so he was excited to get back to his church family. Unfortunately, he was totally unaware of the COVID-19 outbreak, which has caused most churches to move their services online.

The post Man In Coma For Past Month Arrives At Church, Assumes He's Been Left Behind appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


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Chick-Fil-A Temporarily Changes Slogan To 'Eat Fewer Bats'

3/27/2020

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Chick-Fil-A Temporarily Changes Slogan To 'Eat Fewer Bats'
March 27, 2020 at 01:26PM from The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA, GA—In an effort to help curb the spread of Coronavirus, Chick-fil-a has announced that it will temporarily be changing its advertising slogan from "Eat Mor Chikin" to "Eat Fewer Bats."

The post Chick-Fil-A Temporarily Changes Slogan To 'Eat Fewer Bats' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


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Congress Excited To Find Out Whats In Stimulus Package They Just Passed

3/27/2020

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March 27, 2020 at 12:34PM from The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, DC— Members of Congress told reporters Friday they can’t wait to read through the massive economic stimulus package they passed earlier today in response to the Coronavirus crisis.

The post Congress Excited To Find Out What’s In Stimulus Package They Just Passed
appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


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Toilet Paper Crisis Solved As Government Prints Trillions Of Fresh Soft Dollar Bills

3/27/2020

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Toilet Paper Crisis Solved As Government Prints Trillions Of Fresh, Soft Dollar Bills
March 27, 2020 at 12:14PM from The Babylon Bee

USA--As part of a sweeping initiative to help unclog the economic constipation caused by the coronavirus quarantine, the White House announced they are printing out fresh, crisp dollar bills for every US citizen.

The post Toilet Paper Crisis Solved As Government Prints Trillions Of Fresh, Soft Dollar Bills appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


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Hallmark Channel Announces 19 New Coronavirus-Themed Movies

3/27/2020

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Hallmark Channel Announces 19 New Coronavirus-Themed Movies
March 27, 2020 at 11:49AM from The Babylon Bee

STUDIO CITY, CA--

The post Hallmark Channel Announces 19 New Coronavirus-Themed Movies appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


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Family Takes Weekend Vacation To Guest Room

3/27/2020

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Family takes Weekend Vacation to Guest Room
March 27, 2020 at 11:20AM from The Babylon Bee

ORANGE, CA— After becoming a bit bored with being cooped up in their house, the Palmer family took a weekend vacation to their guest room. “It’s just nice to every so often have a change of scenery and expand the mind,” said Colleen Palmer.

The post Family Takes Weekend Vacation To Guest Room appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


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The Outrage Addiction: The Dana Loesch Interview

3/27/2020

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March 27, 2020 at 11:14AM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-5852-1-thumb.jpg

This is the Babylon Bee interview podcast.

The post The Outrage Addiction: The Dana Loesch Interview appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


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