ATLANTA, GA — In an unusual choice of wardrobe, Vice President Kamala Harris arrived to address a mostly black crowd in Atlanta wearing a do-rag and sporting a massive, golden dollar-sign necklace.

NOT SATIRE: Masculinity has become a joke, and not a funny one. Warrior Poet Society has a solution: Freedom, Guns, God, Family, and Leadership. We've cultivated an entire movement of strong men whose mere existence shakes the foundations of the weak, effete, milk-toast, clown world we're living in.

MOUNTAINS OF ARARAT — In the tenth month after the great flood, Noah and his family shouted for joy at the sight of a Buc-ee's gas station sign emerging from the water.

U.S. — Local Internet surfer Dean Chamberlain was confused Monday after his Google search for "Donate to Trump Campaign" presented results for "Donate to Kamala Harris."

PARIS — After falling from grace due to public allegations of domestic abuse and seeking to turn the page to start a different chapter in his life, disgraced rapper and music mogul Diddy has found a successful new career as a female Olympic boxer.

ATLANTA, GA — In an unusual choice of wardrobe, Vice President Kamala Harris arrived to address a mostly black crowd in Atlanta wearing a do-rag and sporting a massive, golden dollar-sign necklace.

NOT SATIRE: Masculinity has become a joke, and not a funny one. Warrior Poet Society has a solution: Freedom, Guns, God, Family, and Leadership. We've cultivated an entire movement of strong men whose mere existence shakes the foundations of the weak, effete, milk-toast, clown world we're living in.

MOUNTAINS OF ARARAT — In the tenth month after the great flood, Noah and his family shouted for joy at the sight of a Buc-ee's gas station sign emerging from the water.

PORTLAND, OR — Microbangs owner Kira McKinley spent the better part of the week trying to figure out how everyone around her knows she has a lot of emotional baggage related to her relationship with her father.

U.S. — The initial "honeymoon" period showed signs of wearing off as Kamala Harris started to hit the campaign trail, and many throughout the nation expressed a yearning for the clarity and coherence of President Joe Biden.