U.S.—A new report released by evangelical research team SpiritStudies confirmed Thursday that sarcasm is "like, totally a fruit of the Spirit."

The post Report: Sarcasm TOTALLY A Fruit Of The Spirit appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Bernie Sanders has revealed he and his team have been working on an alternative to gasoline: an innovative new idea of burning a giant pile of tax dollars instead of outdated, harmful fossil fuels.

The post In Search Of A Cleaner Fuel, Bernie Sanders Experiments With Burning Giant Pile Of Tax Dollars appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

The post In New Teaser Trailer, Rey Specifically Mentions Her Lightsaber Is Available From Target For $49.99 appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—A new source claims that Judas Iscariot was seen at a Jerusalem Popeyes shortly before betraying Christ for 30 pieces of silver.

The post Report: Judas Iscariot Was Seen At Popeyes Shortly Before Betraying Christ appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—According to sources across the country, the nation's progressives woke up this morning and checked the news to see just what it is they're supposed to be boycotting today.

The post Nation's Progressives Check News To See What They're Boycotting Today appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

BRIGGS, IA—Amy Fenton says her two-year-old son, Hunter spends an average of six to twelve hours a day on her iPad watching YouTube Kids. While some experts would say that this amount of screen-time is not good for children, Fenton says her son learns all kinds of things from the educational videos on YouTube Kids. "In the last few weeks he has learned how to say 'red', 'dog', and he can now speak fluent Ukranian," Fenton told reporters. 

The post Two-Year-Old Watching Kids' Videos On YouTube Now Fluent In Thirteen Foreign Languages appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—Presidential candidate and Senator Bernie Sanders offered words of praise for China's successful reduction of poverty in many parts of the country by killing off all the poor people through government control of the economy.

The post Bernie Sanders Praises China For Eradicating Poverty By Killing All The Poor People appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

SANTA CRUZ, CA—Mandatory Tolerance, LLC is a Santa Cruz-based internet company that manufacturers bumper stickers, T-shirts, and other merchandise for the left, offering their goods and services on the free market in exchange for money in order to end capitalism.

The post New Reversible Bumper Sticker Can Switch Between ‘COEXIST’ And ‘RESIST’ Depending On Who The President Is appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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U.S.—A new study has shown what coffee-drinkers have long known to be true: a lack of coffee directly increases the sinfulness of your thoughts, attitudes, emotions, and desires.

The post Study Finds Most Sin A Direct Result Of Not Having Enough Coffee In Your System appeared first on The Babylon Bee.