HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives shocked the entertainment world earlier today when they announced a new film titled "Jumpy The Homo-Punching Kangaroo," an apparent attempt to win back conservative viewers they've lost over the past few years.

SUN VALLEY, CA — Sources close to Hodgson Lloyd-Jones Johnson confirmed earlier this week that the Reformed 32-year-old spent the Lord's Day resting by blasting people in theological arguments online.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President-elect Donald Trump has just named Buc-ee the Beaver as his Secretary of Transportation in a move bringing joy to millions of drivers across the country.

Everyone knows how wonderful and soul-nourishing it can be to peruse social media platforms. But are there places you can go that might be even better for your psyche and self-esteem?

LITTLE ROCK, AR — While taking time to look back on his life after another year passed, a local man fondly recalled Christian music being cool during the three days after DC Talk's Jesus Freak came out.

SAINT CROIX — What had already been a relaxing family vacation to usher in the coming new year became the site of an even greater celebration, as news of the death of former President Jimmy Carter made it official that Joe Biden had finally claimed the title of Worst Living President.

Everyone knows how wonderful and soul-nourishing it can be to peruse social media platforms. But are there places you can go that might be even better for your psyche and self-esteem?

LITTLE ROCK, AR — While taking time to look back on his life after another year passed, a local man fondly recalled Christian music being cool during the three days after DC Talk's Jesus Freak came out.

SAINT CROIX — What had already been a relaxing family vacation to usher in the coming new year became the site of an even greater celebration, as news of the death of former President Jimmy Carter made it official that Joe Biden had finally claimed the title of Worst Living President.