New Cannibalism Bill Makes Chewing Fingernails A Felony

1/21/2021

- 14 Year Prison Sentence

Freshman Senator Shane Jett decided Oklahoma needs a new law to stop the cannibalism in the state. So he ran for office and wrote a bill.
Jett, whose district stretched from Edmond to Luther, to Shawnee, Has campaigned on a lot of issues, but no one seems to remember him emphasizing Oklahoma's cannibalism outbreak?
The language of the bill is short & simple, but very vague. Are collagen injections now a felony? The bill does not exempt a person who swallows his own blood during dental procedures, a bloody nose, or after flossing?
Two years ago we spoke with then freshman lawmaker, Denise Crosswhite Hader. She said that she's holding off on filing any of her own bills until she's better prepared. That sort of prudence and sober-minded humility is a laudable virtue and scarce commodity in the halls of the legislature. But if a matter is so pressing that freshman feels compelled to act, it's best to ask for help.
Our state has a wealth of former lawmakers and staff members who can help a novice to understand what it takes to write good laws. And sometimes it's prudent to ask if current laws already sufficiently address a behavior which might destroy our civilization.
The language of SB740 simply says..

"Any person who willingly ingests the flesh, blood or tissue of a
human being is guilty of cannibalism. Any person convicted of
cannibalism shall be guilty of a felony punishable by imprisonment
in the custody of the Department of Corrections for a term not to
exceed fourteen (14) years.
SECTION 2. This act shall become effective November 1, 2021."

Who's going to become the champion lawmaker who starts clearing out the massive library of statutes, and deleting the archaic, unenforceable, and unconstitutional laws on our books?

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