From the Satirical services of Dewey Fudge -
House & Senate Leadership met with Gov. Fallin, today. Their Press briefing outlined the upcoming June primary election message.
"We will be rolling out a major media ad buy beginning Memorial Day weekend", said Senate Pro Temp Mike Schultz. "There will be events in every House & Senate district where incumbents seeking a new term will listen with sincere expressions of humility and self loathing.".
Gov. Mary Fallin pledged to do all she could to join every incumbent in major campaign events. Fallin is convinced that her popularity with pro-life and pro-gun groups will play strong to the GOP base.
"I believe the time to recount past records is unhelpful. We must renew the call for fiscal conservatism and legislative oversight." Fallin said the narrative is only going to be advanced after her newest budget signing. "Until that budget signing takes place, none of this new messaging will be helpful."
Look for GOP incumbents to resume church attendance in their districts, especially visiting the largest congregations. There will be social media videos of lawmakers playing T-ball with their kids. Those who don't have kids will suddenly become 'Big Brothers & Sisters', on a 6 month commitment.
Oklahoma Capitol - Marine Drill Instructor, Kevin McDugle caused a period of chaos at the Oklahoma capitol, last week. At 0600 hours, McDougle (a newly elected Representative) arrived through the east tunnel with a loud growl which was heard from the east parking lot and all the way to the 5th floor rotunda area.
By the time the sleepy state troopers working security at the metal detector station figured out what they were in for, the freshman Representative had;
"This house is going to be run orderly!", McDugle charged. "This is a house of order! From the rest rooms to the copier rooms. Do you hear me? I ... can't... hear ... you?".
Not one to coddle whiners, McDugle screamed for them to get up, quit sniveling and run twice around the governor's mansion grounds.
By the time they returned through the east tunnel, the floor leader-designate, Rep. Jon Echols, had arrived to diffuse the situation. He drew McDugle aside and assured him that fellow Marine, John Bennett would handle the troopers' lack of discipline.