Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Family Bobbleheads:

Two-Year-Old Birthday Parties = A Good Time for Papi to Nap!

Two weeks ago my gorgeous wife, AKA Mrs. B in T, decided to host Charlotte's 2nd Birthday party!  So, if you want to get shat done in the home just have a two-year-old party at your home!  Such items as a new corner piece in the living room, a beautiful new piece of art from London, two new throw rugs, and Papa and his dog Henry both received pedicures and hair trims before the party!!  

While Charlotte’s birthday party was exciting and very busy, I became dizzy and went straight to nighty-night time!!  As I slept I dreamed of a quiet place with Katy Perry dancing to California Girls!!  When I awoke I realized that the 8 adults and 13 children had left!!  Dang!!  Oh well, let's have another football party ? so we can purchase a 65” Vizio in the B in T MAN CAVE!!!

B in T notes:

Vikings Use Skelly Stadium Tartan Turf to Practice!?

The actual photo was taken by an extremely young Bill Haistens!

In 1973 and ‘74 the Minnesota Vikings used Tulsa’s Skelly Stadium to practice before their playoff games against the Dallas Cowboys!!  Viking QB Fran ‘the scram’ Tarkenton was seen at the  ‘The Buccaneer’ belting down some a couple of QT Light beers after practice with legendary coach Bud Grant!!  Tulsa World reporter Bill Haisten, who happened to be at the Buc bar, asked Fran if he minded playing on artificial turf, “ no ” snapped Tarkenton. “We'd be ready even if the game was played on asphalt. To me their artificial turf (at Texas Stadium)is like the energy crisis. It's here.  It's with us. It's something we'll have to contend with.”

Which of these dudes was asked for “More Cowbell!” and which one asks for “more basketballs to the post, damn it!” 

B in T Local Post Season Basketball Projections:

Oklahoma State - none - the Cowboys were banished from postseason play in 2022 due to infractions levied in World War II.  

NCAA is a joke!

Oklahoma - NIT 3rd seed against South Dakota played at Vermillion, S Dakota!!  OU fans are booking flights now!!

Arkansas - NCAA 10 seed - in Chatanooga!   vs  West Virginia

Tulsa - a couch with Lays chips

ORU - the Golden Eagles win the postseason Tourney, NCAA 14th seed!  Playing in Sheboygan, Wisconsin!  Vs Illinois

Illinois - NCAA 3rd seed in St. Louis vs ORU

Murray State - NCAA 6th seed in Juneau, Alaska vs Alabama

2 Star Recruits?  WTH!

Tyler Smith, Next First Rounder for Tulsa?

At 6’4”, 325 lbs Mr. Smith is the perfect right tackle size for the NFL!  Tyler has great pop in his hands when he demolishes the defender, especially in the run game as he explodes into the chest of the next pancake victim!!  His draft stock should rise to the first round when the validity of a picture of Mr. Smith lifting a 1970 VW bus over his head is confirmed!  True shat man!!

Up and Comer from Oral Roberts University:  

Moses Ehambe

Moses was a 2008 graduate of ORU, scoring 13 PPG and 7 RPG as a player!  After a few years in the NBA D League, he worked at ORU as an assistant, then with Indiana Pacers, and now Moses Ehambe, has joined the Minnesota Timberwolves as the director of player programs!  He recently was interviewed by Dan Hawk on the 1170 Sports Blitz and has amazing insight to the NBA and a future NBA team president!!  Great young man!!

Why Gabriel Brownlow-Dindy flip his commitment to Texas A&M from Oklahoma?

A.  Perhaps he was upset after all of the staff changes on the defensive side of the OU ball?

B.  New Cadilac Escalade in his driveway!

C.  Mom and Dad Brown-nose-Dindy received furnished home in College Station!

D.  NIL deal worth 4.7 million with College Station car dealership called Giggem Lexus!

E.  Who gives a shat

F.  All the above

Answer:  E

Brownlow-Dindy was hailed as a program-changing recruit defensively for the Sooners!  Oh well!!

B in T Top 10 Worst Fans:

1. LSU - Vulgar mouths and do not wear deodorant game week!
2. Alabama - watched them 2 times at College Station and my wife tried to wash their mouths out with soap!!  A whole section!
3. Florida State - when the firey spear is implanted in the turf the entire crowd goes berserk and attacks the visiting crowd!
4. Note Dame - Their fans are arrogant and think they are holier than thou!!  If visiting Notre Dame make sure you play your pep band music real loud while the ND alums try to sing their anthem after losing 28-27!!  

1. Texas A&M - several of the up and coming DINC (dual income no children) Aggie fans are just naturally arrogant and know it!!  Our A&M family are perfectly sweet as pumpkin pie to us!!
2. Arkansas - in ‘71 while at my first TU - Arkansas game in Fayetnam, Arkansas I ran across some familiar rude and ballistic fans especially when TU rallied for a 21-20 victory!!  

    7.  SMU - A couple of years ago  

         a group of 60 + year old farts 

         traveled to Preppie land in  

         Dallas to watch heartbreakin

         loss to the Ponies!!  On the 

         long walk to our car after the

         game a young fart gave us        

         the bird and jacked my   brother Coop’s walking cane!! They may look friendly, preppy but they are awful fans!!  Trust me!

1.  The Ohio State University - 

        They yell way too loud and   

        drink way much!!  

         And win way too much

1. Tennessee - the fans litter their own field and are mean to Lane Kiffin!
2. Tulsa - the post-game melee 

         after the 2020 Armed Forces 

         Bowl, some new sources tell

         B in T that some 60+year old 

         TU farts instigated the brawl 

         by throwing hot dogs at the  

         Mississippi State players!! 

         Let the fights begin!!

OU 2022 Freshman is Already a Winner!

The University of Oklahoma’s freshman quarterback, Nick Evers, is using his platform for good. Evers has opted to donate all proceeds from his first name, image and likeness (NIL) deal to Make-A-Wish!!  This four-star QB has given this old fart a glimmer of hope in today's glut of me, me, me NIL deals and transfer deception in college football!

College Basketball Picks:

Arkansas 77 Tennessee 71

The Razorbacks took the Vols and coach Rick Barnes to the local woodshed and switched their butts as my Grandmother used to switch my red ass!!

Tulsa 68 at South Florida 61

The only conference wins this year were to the Bulls!  Well this is bull shat!  Is it football season yet?

Iowa State 78 Oklahoma 73

The Sooner are slated for the first round of the CBI Tournament against Chicago Loyola Marymount!!

Oklahoma State 81 Kansas State 68  Oklahoma State powerful duo the Boone brother scored 35 points and had 20 rebounds against the Mildcats!

ORU 83 at North Dakota 71

ORU will win the conference tournament and give all the credit to the Prayer Tower!!

Have a great sports week!

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Family Bobbleheads:

Two-Year-Old Birthday Parties = A Good Time for Papi to Nap!

Two weeks ago my gorgeous wife, AKA Mrs. B in T, decided to host Charlotte's 2nd Birthday party!  So, if you want to get shat done in the home just have a two-year-old party at your home!  Such items as a new corner piece in the living room, a beautiful new piece of art from London, two new throw rugs, and Papa and his dog Henry both received pedicures and hair trims before the party!!  

While Charlotte’s birthday party was exciting and very busy, I became dizzy and went straight to nighty-night time!!  As I slept I dreamed of a quiet place with Katy Perry dancing to California Girls!!  When I awoke I realized that the 8 adults and 13 children had left!!  Dang!!  Oh well, let's have another football party ? so we can purchase a 65” Vizio in the B in T MAN CAVE!!!

B in T notes:

Vikings Use Skelly Stadium Tartan Turf to Practice!?

The actual photo was taken by an extremely young Bill Haistens!

In 1973 and ‘74 the Minnesota Vikings used Tulsa’s Skelly Stadium to practice before their playoff games against the Dallas Cowboys!!  Viking QB Fran ‘the scram’ Tarkenton was seen at the  ‘The Buccaneer’ belting down some a couple of QT Light beers after practice with legendary coach Bud Grant!!  Tulsa World reporter Bill Haisten, who happened to be at the Buc bar, asked Fran if he minded playing on artificial turf, “ no ” snapped Tarkenton. “We'd be ready even if the game was played on asphalt. To me their artificial turf (at Texas Stadium)is like the energy crisis. It's here.  It's with us. It's something we'll have to contend with.”

Which of these dudes was asked for “More Cowbell!” and which one asks for “more basketballs to the post, damn it!” 

B in T Local Post Season Basketball Projections:

Oklahoma State - none - the Cowboys were banished from postseason play in 2022 due to infractions levied in World War II.  

NCAA is a joke!

Oklahoma - NIT 3rd seed against South Dakota played at Vermillion, S Dakota!!  OU fans are booking flights now!!

Arkansas - NCAA 10 seed - in Chatanooga!   vs  West Virginia

Tulsa - a couch with Lays chips

ORU - the Golden Eagles win the postseason Tourney, NCAA 14th seed!  Playing in Sheboygan, Wisconsin!  Vs Illinois

Illinois - NCAA 3rd seed in St. Louis vs ORU

Murray State - NCAA 6th seed in Juneau, Alaska vs Alabama

2 Star Recruits?  WTH!

Tyler Smith, Next First Rounder for Tulsa?

At 6’4”, 325 lbs Mr. Smith is the perfect right tackle size for the NFL!  Tyler has great pop in his hands when he demolishes the defender, especially in the run game as he explodes into the chest of the next pancake victim!!  His draft stock should rise to the first round when the validity of a picture of Mr. Smith lifting a 1970 VW bus over his head is confirmed!  True shat man!!

Up and Comer from Oral Roberts University:  

Moses Ehambe

Moses was a 2008 graduate of ORU, scoring 13 PPG and 7 RPG as a player!  After a few years in the NBA D League, he worked at ORU as an assistant, then with Indiana Pacers, and now Moses Ehambe, has joined the Minnesota Timberwolves as the director of player programs!  He recently was interviewed by Dan Hawk on the 1170 Sports Blitz and has amazing insight to the NBA and a future NBA team president!!  Great young man!!

Why Gabriel Brownlow-Dindy flip his commitment to Texas A&M from Oklahoma?

A.  Perhaps he was upset after all of the staff changes on the defensive side of the OU ball?

B.  New Cadilac Escalade in his driveway!

C.  Mom and Dad Brown-nose-Dindy received furnished home in College Station!

D.  NIL deal worth 4.7 million with College Station car dealership called Giggem Lexus!

E.  Who gives a shat

F.  All the above

Answer:  E

Brownlow-Dindy was hailed as a program-changing recruit defensively for the Sooners!  Oh well!!

B in T Top 10 Worst Fans:

1. LSU - Vulgar mouths and do not wear deodorant game week!
2. Alabama - watched them 2 times at College Station and my wife tried to wash their mouths out with soap!!  A whole section!
3. Florida State - when the firey spear is implanted in the turf the entire crowd goes berserk and attacks the visiting crowd!
4. Note Dame - Their fans are arrogant and think they are holier than thou!!  If visiting Notre Dame make sure you play your pep band music real loud while the ND alums try to sing their anthem after losing 28-27!!  

1. Texas A&M - several of the up and coming DINC (dual income no children) Aggie fans are just naturally arrogant and know it!!  Our A&M family are perfectly sweet as pumpkin pie to us!!
2. Arkansas - in ‘71 while at my first TU - Arkansas game in Fayetnam, Arkansas I ran across some familiar rude and ballistic fans especially when TU rallied for a 21-20 victory!!  

    7.  SMU - A couple of years ago  

         a group of 60 + year old farts 

         traveled to Preppie land in  

         Dallas to watch heartbreakin

         loss to the Ponies!!  On the 

         long walk to our car after the

         game a young fart gave us        

         the bird and jacked my   brother Coop’s walking cane!! They may look friendly, preppy but they are awful fans!!  Trust me!

1.  The Ohio State University - 

        They yell way too loud and   

        drink way much!!  

         And win way too much

1. Tennessee - the fans litter their own field and are mean to Lane Kiffin!
2. Tulsa - the post-game melee 

         after the 2020 Armed Forces 

         Bowl, some new sources tell

         B in T that some 60+year old 

         TU farts instigated the brawl 

         by throwing hot dogs at the  

         Mississippi State players!! 

         Let the fights begin!!

OU 2022 Freshman is Already a Winner!

The University of Oklahoma’s freshman quarterback, Nick Evers, is using his platform for good. Evers has opted to donate all proceeds from his first name, image and likeness (NIL) deal to Make-A-Wish!!  This four-star QB has given this old fart a glimmer of hope in today's glut of me, me, me NIL deals and transfer deception in college football!

College Basketball Picks:

Arkansas 77 Tennessee 71

The Razorbacks took the Vols and coach Rick Barnes to the local woodshed and switched their butts as my Grandmother used to switch my red ass!!

Tulsa 68 at South Florida 61

The only conference wins this year were to the Bulls!  Well this is bull shat!  Is it football season yet?

Iowa State 78 Oklahoma 73

The Sooner are slated for the first round of the CBI Tournament against Chicago Loyola Marymount!!

Oklahoma State 81 Kansas State 68  Oklahoma State powerful duo the Boone brother scored 35 points and had 20 rebounds against the Mildcats!

ORU 83 at North Dakota 71

ORU will win the conference tournament and give all the credit to the Prayer Tower!!

Have a great sports week!

Bryan in Tulsa

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Bobblehead Sports:

Papa B in T is Suspended from Rugrats Y games!!

After a self-imposed, per demand by my daughter suspension, Papa did realize that he was a little too vocal for 5-year-olds!  While on suspension Papa is currently reading:  Screaming at Youth Games Leads to Devil Worshipping, Yelling at Kids Games May Cause Erectile Disfunction, and finally, I Enjoyed Yelling at YMCA Games by BTKiller!  I have also volunteered at 2 local family Y dodge ball programs for elementary kids.......as a practice dummy!!  Approximately 300 hits per hour is too much torture for raising my voice at a youth game!  Too fricken much!

B in T Notes:

Holland Hall Grad is Superbowl Bound Bengals Assistant Coach!

Brad Kragthorpe former Holland Hall QB grad is going to the Super Bowl!!!  Bengals coach Brad Kragthorpe is the son of ex-TU head coach Steve Kragthorpe and was a Dutchman when his dad was at Tulsa!!  Brad Kragthorpe is the Assistant Wide Receivers coach for the Bengals and the only reason I am rooting for the Bengals!!  And also the OU connection of running backs, Sammy Perrine and Joe Mixon!!

TU’s Trev Gipson Chicago Bears Most Improved Player:

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No Bears player made greater strides in 2021 than Trevis Gipson a healthy scratch in Week 2 who blossomed into a top playmaker on defense.  The 2020 fifth-round draft pick from Tulsa appeared in 16 games with nine starts, registering 39 tackles, 7.0 sacks, seven tackles-for-loss, five forced fumbles, one fumble recovery, and two pass breakups!  Gipson especially excelled down the stretch, recording four of his seven sacks in the final five games and three of his five forced fumbles in the final two contests!

Congrats to Trev!!!!

Keanu Reeves Reactions:

On the left Keanu just signed up for John Wick 5;  On the right Keano just heard the Cincinnati Bengals are in the Superbowl!!

Memphis Coach all microphoned up!!

Memphis coach throws fit after another loss to go 10-9!

“Stop asking me stupid f***ing questions about if I feel like I can do something. If I had my roster like they did, then I feel like I can do whatever I want to do."

After promising the world to the Memphis alums and making a world of money from those same alums, Penny AND little Penny can't coach a lick!!  

They are great recruiters and can make the young stars look great in Addidas shoes but their press room etiquette is possibly the worst ever!!  Good luck Pennies!

Zaven, Isaiah, and Jordan Sound Like a Gospel Group!

These are 3 star middle linebackers sharing 2 spots on the Arizona Cardinal roster!!  They average 6 feet 4 inches tall, 241lbs, with an unheard-of average wingspan of 6’8”!!

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Linebackers (from left) Jordan Hicks, Isaiah Simmons and Zaven Collins track down Vikings running back Dalvin Cook during the 2021 season!  These young men are all heat-seeking missiles!!  

College Basketball picks:

Arkansas 70 at Alabama 67

The Razorbacks were on the B in T last five to get into the NCAA Tournament but with a road victory over ranked Alabama they are a solid Big Dance team!!

Kansas 81 Oklahoma 75

Just playing the Jayhawks helps the Sooner strength of schedule and they are currently resting uncomfortably on the last 5 in the Big Dance!

Oklahoma State 68 W. Virginia 65

The Cowboys are building momentum for next year's NCAA tournament!!

Cincinnati 74 at Tulsa 68

Tulsa has been invited to the 5A boys tournament at the Maybe Center and the TU girls are heading to some postseason action!!

ORU 87 Kansas City 72

ORU must win the tourney to reach the NCAA tournament, in fact any team from the Summit League must win the conference Tourney to go to the Dance!

How to Make 40k While Watching the Super Bowl!!  

answer:  Stay Home!!!!

One Super Bowl ticket will cost you $39,428 for the 5th row 40 yard line?  So if u stay home and watch the Super Bowl in your recliner u save 40k!!  Plus for that amount you can get the following:

• 3 Holland Hall tuitions for elementary school 1 year!
• 1-year room and board at TU plus down payment on a 2022 Ford F150 truck!
• New iPhone 14s for a family of 4 for 3 years!
• Earrings worn by legend ‘Prince’ during the making of the MTV video Purple Rain!  Seriously, Google it!
• Cost to former Buccaneer wideout Antonio Brown for throwing a hissy fit and leaving in the middle of an NFL game!
• Save 100 children in the World Food Program (WFP) from starvation 
• 1/2 of the cost of one Jerry Jones facelift
• One Kilo of cocaine if purchased in the Ozarks!

Super Bowl ZZXXZII Picks:

Bengals 34 Rams 31

Bengals QB was in diapers when Ram’s QB Matthew Stafford was a rookie with the Detroit Lions!!

Stafford throws for 335 yards and 3 touchdowns!!  Odell Beckham Jr celebrates a touchdown early and costs the Rams the go-ahead touchdown with 22 seconds left!

Halftime Show Projections:

Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J Blige, and Kendrick Lamar will perform this year!!  Snoop Dogg and Eminem are familiar but not like Bing Crosby or Sammy Davis Jr!  So u guessed it - a superimposed Bing Crosby and Sammy Davis Jr sing on stage with the fab five pop rappers!  A show for the ages!!  Snoop Dogg and Sammy Davis Jr do a duet of the Katy Perry hit ‘California Girls’!!  Both are smoking stogeys with white top hats!!  Bing Crosby and Eminem singing ‘Whose the Real Slim Shady’, accompanied by the Rockettes!!  Can't wait!!

Have a great sports week!!

Bryan in Tulsa