Dubiosity

How Did A Retired Rancher Get Banned From Tractor Supply Store

11/24/2019

I've just received a letter from a reader. You need to read it and defend the rights of our retirees.

"Yesterday I was at my local TSC store buying a large bag of my dog's food for my loyal livestock guard dog and was in the checkout, when the clerk asked me if I had a dog? What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because ! ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, 'no, I stepped off the curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end & a car hit me.' I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from Tractor Supply. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of things to say."

Don't mock a big chain checkout clerk or make her look bad in front of other customers. The boss don't like it. They have a hard enough time, filling those low-pay jobs.

Disclaimer:
We don't censor these free speech expressions. That's for our readers to do.

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Muskogee Illuminati Holds Secret Conference

11/22/2019

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A shadowy group of bankers, former politicians, media companies, and clergy met in secret over the past 3 days, in The Sequoyah Lodge Resort, in Rural Cherokee County. The state-run lodge refused to confirm or deny the event or share any details of the guests.
Speculations are rampant about the nature of the group or what their goals might be. Some believe it was a group of investors seeking some state govt. concession on tax breaks to help boost the undisclosed ventures.
One trash can had a map with Interstate 50 drawn through northern Oklahoma, & spanning from Las Vegas to Birmingham.
Still others overheard talk in the lounge regarding A change in the state code to allow tax-exempt sales of medical marijuana when the dispensary is owned by a church or other 501C3 charitable nonprofit entity.
One maintenance worker said he overheard talk of pitching to the legislature a proposed rebuilding of Fountainhead Lodge, on Lake Eufaula. The worker said one Republican at the meeting insisted that the reason why the old Fountainhead failed was due to Democrat management and kickbacks to Gene Stipe's cronies.
One housecleaning staffer said she only knows they didn't tip any of of the cleaning crews.
#SatireSaturday

Will I-50 be built across northern Oklahoma?

We're going to keep working on this lead until we get a solid story to report. Any information the public can provide will be especially helpful. Please write to Dewey@SoonerPolitics.org

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Dubiosity

Dewey Fudge provides his perspective from satirical sources and the trash cans of Sooner Politics

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SoonerPolitics.org is committed to informing & mobilizing conservative Oklahomans for civic reform & restored liberty. We seeks to utilize the efforts of all cooperative facets of the Conservative movement... Content of the diverse columns are solely at the discretion of the dozens of websites who create the content. David Van Risseghem is the founder of this platform.
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How Did A Retired Rancher Get Banned From Tractor Supply Store

Muskogee Illuminati Holds Secret Conference

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Dewey Fudge provides his perspective from satirical sources and the trash cans of Sooner Politics

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