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From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd. In other news, we’re working on some leads in these 2 stories. – House chief of staff fires 23 more people ‘for shits and giggles’– SBC goons fixing to deregulate your face
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From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd. 
OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – A spokesman for Oklahoma’s methamphetamine industry says a proposed 55-cent would hurt the state’s already-struggling pharmaceutical manufacturing business. Gov. Brad Henry proposed the tax hike last month, saying the money would be used to provide Oklahoma teachers with cabana boys, liquor, and “all the coke they can snort.”
However, a Durant meth manufacturer says the tax will simply drive customers to cheaper sources of the drug
“Them there’s that wants it, they just gonna get it on the Internets on in Texas,”
said Lucas Boduke, a meth “chef” and part-time wife-beater. “Big government sumbitches always trying to take my sheeit,” said Boduke who, like many Oklahomans who complain about big government, derives most of his income from government subsidies and welfare payments.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
By Martin Trapp, Partisan Staff Reporter
The 50th session of the Oklahoma Legislature convenes today. Following a contentious 2004 election, state Republicans swept into power on the back of God, guns, gays and the fact that Brad Carson apparently had a homosexual relationship with John Kerry and Edward Kennedy simultaneously.
In the House, the GOP took the majority of seats for the first time in 80 years, a fact noted in damn near every press release issued by the Republican Party. Rep. Todd Hiett, R-Kellyville, was installed as the Speaker of the House in January. In that position, he will lead a 77-seat majority (57 actual Republicans and 20 more who would be Republicans if they could go without the farm subsidies).
“Clearly, the people have spoken,” said Hiett.
“With this election, we can finally put the nightmarish social and civil rights advances of the 20th century behind us. As politicians, we are the tools of the people, and we promise to be the biggest bunch of tools this state has ever seen.”
Republicans wasted no time in pressing their advantage, shifting passing new rules that would limit the ability to propose and debate amendments on the House floor, as well as procedural changes that would require members of the minority party to ask “Mother may I?” before every vote. In the Senate, Sen. Cal Hobson, D-Lexington, will continue to lead a emasculated Democratic majority, which plans to spend most of its time sobbing until it is put out to pasture in the 2006 election.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd. 
OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – In a politely-worded letter to The Daily Oklahoman, the House Republican Leader has asked the relatives of publishing magnate E.K. Gaylord to consider changing the family name.
Rep. Lance Cargill, R-Harrah, asked the family to consider a surname “more in line with traditional Oklahoma values.” “Let’s face it,” wrote Cargill,
“Oklahoma’s high standard of living and low rates of drug use, teenage pregnancy and incarceration are derived entirely from its strong opposition to homosexuality. It doesn’t look good when we’ve got the words ‘Gay Lord’ associated our largest newspaper.”
Cargill also asked to change the name of Gaylord Family – Oklahoma Memorial Stadium, saying the moniker may have played a part in the cornholing the Sooners received in the 2005 National Championship. In his letter, Cargill provided a number of alternatives to the controversial name, including “Christian,” “Godlove” and “Tort Reformer.”
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd. 
Happy Spring and condolences for all the pathetic bills which didn’t get a committee vote. Better luck next year. Here are some journalistic tips we should be investigating, but the people-watching in the rotunda is more fun.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd. 
OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – On Tuesday, officials with the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation confirmed that Steve Largent, former football star, U.S. representative and gubernatorial candidate, was found living in the basement of the governor’s mansion.
The discovery concludes a yearlong investigation into the fate of the popular, good-looking jock, who had not been heard from following his defeat by student-council dweeb Brad Henry in the 2002 election. Officials says Largent has been living in the mansion’s basement since the defeat, surviving off Sonic leftovers discarded by the Henry family.
Largent was largely incoherent, but appears to think he has been running Oklahoma government from his nest of filth. He seemed pleased to announce the successful passage of workers compensation and tort reform, before flinging feces at Animal Control officers. “Man, that’s pretty messed up,” said Henry.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
By Lee Cruce, Partisan Staff Writer
From tobacco compacts to gambling and Medicaid expansion, state finance director Scott Meacham was one of the most effective forces in Oklahoma government. However, the Elk City banker is quick to give credit where credit is due, acknowledging the magical powers of his purple pimp hat.
“The hat keeps my (prostitutes) in line,” said Meacham.
“Tobacco retailers are all like, ‘We can’t compete with the tribes’ and I’m like, ‘Be cool bitches.’ You gotta respect the hat. Otherwise you get the slap.”
Meacham said his headgear’s purple velvet crown makes him seem more approachable, while the zebra-striped band subtle indicates that he ain’t f#@kin’ around. Legislators and other officials are generally supportive of Meacham’s hat, although they have a less-favorable opinion of his vicious backhand slaps.
“I was arguing gambling expansion about a month ago,” said Rep. Forrest Claunch, R-Midwest City,
“and the next thing I know, I’m getting slapped across the face while Scott screams ‘Who’s your daddy?’”
Meacham explained that, in the course of his work, it is often necessary to lay the smack down on punk bitches. “You got a problem, you can take it up with the hat,” he said. Punk-ass bitches have asked Gov. Brad Henry to restrain Meacham. However, following an assault by “the five fingers of progress,” Henry said he ain’t goin’ there again.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
Citing the need to protect Oklahoma’s children from improved health care and broader educational opportunities, House Minority Leader Todd Hiett, D-Kellyville, called for the resignation of Oklahoma’s Democratic Party.
“For too long, the Democratic Party has clogged the legislature with plans to extend health care to the poor, boost teacher salaries and provide drug rehabilitation programs for addicts. The resignation of the party is necessary to proceed with important business such as reforming workers compensation and absolving corporations of responsibility to consumers,“
Hiett said in a Wednesday press conference. So far, Hiett has sought the resignations of
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd. 
Valentine’s Day took more commitment this year, so we missed a copy deadline. Here are the stories we should have had ready for print, but didn’t…
– Even Nashoba lawmaker doesn’t know where the hell Nashoba is– Obese kids, hungry cows: State crisis solves itself– Senator calls for special session to finish farewell speech– Governor ‘doing well’ following spine-removal surgery– Cain collapses from bleeding heartFrom the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – According to a new study by the Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce, the city’s freaky psychedelic fiberglass buffalo statues are most enjoyable when residents are tripping balls.
The “Spirit of the Buffalo” project is designed to increase awareness of nature conservation. Already, the exhibition has drawn rave reviews from residents whether they be stoned, f*cked up, trippin’ or hammered. “Dude, I am blitzed out of my fuckin’ mind here,” said Shane Boyd, Dairy Queen cashier and part-time skateboarder.
“Is that buffalo supposed to be wearing a tie?”
he asked, vaguing gesturing toward a buffalo statue that was, in fact, supposed to be wearing a tie. Sponsored by local corporations and decorated by a variety of artists, the downtown statues have been alternately described as freaky and trippy.
A Chamber of Commerce survey reported that the most common response was “Whoa” followed closely by “that is not even right, man.” Spectators said the statues were most enjoyable when viewed on Ecstasy, followed by acid, shrooms, pot and pseudoephedrine. In any case, the fiberglass statues now outnumber Oklahoma’s real buffalo population by a 3:1 margin.
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The Oklahoma PartisanIn 2004 & 2005, an anonymous group of journalist/artists compiled a library of what then was contemporary humor surrounding Oklahoma state government. Sadly the venture only lasted a couple years. But the Oklahoma Partisan was a gem of political comedy. Archives
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