Nobody Really Knows Who Amended HB 2355

oklahomapartisan:

From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.

OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – State lawmakers admitted Tuesday that they had no idea who amended HB 2355, regarding performance awards issued by the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation. 

The amendment added a new paragraph to the first section of the bill. As apparently approved, the paragraph reads “Metallica rules.” Rep. Lucky Lamons, D-Tulsa, author of the legislation, says he isn’t sure when the amendment was added. “It might have been in the Appropriations Subcommittee on Public Safety,” he said, “but I really don’t remember.” 

  Committee Chair Sen. Dick Wilkerson, D-Atwood, conceded that the amendment could have been approved during the meeting. “It was getting late, and I wanted to get home and watch ‘Survivor,’ so I think we pretty much approved everything on the table and went home.” House Minority Leader Todd Hiett, R-Kellyville wasted no time attacking the legislation. 

“This is typical of the Democrats ‘bait-and-switch’ policies,” 

he said. “They did the same thing with tort reform and worker’s compensation.” Legislators have declined to repeal the amendment. “I don’t think it’s hurting anything,” said Lamons, “and besides, none of us are sure what a ‘Metallica’ is.” Under other provisions outlined in the bill, the ruling status of Metallica will be enforced by OSBI and the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics.