From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
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| “As politicians, we are the tools of the people, and we promise to be the biggest bunch of tools this state has ever seen.” – Rep. Todd Hiett |
By Martin Trapp, Partisan Staff Reporter
The 50th session of the Oklahoma Legislature convenes today. Following a contentious 2004 election, state Republicans swept into power on the back of God, guns, gays and the fact that Brad Carson apparently had a homosexual relationship with John Kerry and Edward Kennedy simultaneously.
In the House, the GOP took the majority of seats for the first time in 80 years, a fact noted in damn near every press release issued by the Republican Party. Rep. Todd Hiett, R-Kellyville, was installed as the Speaker of the House in January. In that position, he will lead a 77-seat majority (57 actual Republicans and 20 more who would be Republicans if they could go without the farm subsidies).
“Clearly, the people have spoken,” said Hiett.
“With this election, we can finally put the nightmarish social and civil rights advances of the 20th century behind us. As politicians, we are the tools of the people, and we promise to be the biggest bunch of tools this state has ever seen.”
Republicans wasted no time in pressing their advantage, shifting passing new rules that would limit the ability to propose and debate amendments on the House floor, as well as procedural changes that would require members of the minority party to ask “Mother may I?” before every vote. In the Senate, Sen. Cal Hobson, D-Lexington, will continue to lead a emasculated Democratic majority, which plans to spend most of its time sobbing until it is put out to pasture in the 2006 election.
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