From the Satirical services of Dewey Fudge -
House & Senate Leadership met with Gov. Fallin, today. Their Press briefing outlined the upcoming June primary election message.
"We will be rolling out a major media ad buy beginning Memorial Day weekend", said Senate Pro Temp Mike Schultz. "There will be events in every House & Senate district where incumbents seeking a new term will listen with sincere expressions of humility and self loathing.".
Gov. Mary Fallin pledged to do all she could to join every incumbent in major campaign events. Fallin is convinced that her popularity with pro-life and pro-gun groups will play strong to the GOP base.
"I believe the time to recount past records is unhelpful. We must renew the call for fiscal conservatism and legislative oversight." Fallin said the narrative is only going to be advanced after her newest budget signing. "Until that budget signing takes place, none of this new messaging will be helpful."
Look for GOP incumbents to resume church attendance in their districts, especially visiting the largest congregations. There will be social media videos of lawmakers playing T-ball with their kids. Those who don't have kids will suddenly become 'Big Brothers & Sisters', on a 6 month commitment.
Unnamed sources say there is not total harmony in the OKGOP. Some Platform Caucus members have already gone rogue and presented real funding solutions for education. Fallin denies being outraged at Rep. Tom Gann for discovering the billions in stockpiled trust funds while public school teachers go without a raise in over 10 years. Gann's bill would capture the $300+million in annual lease & royalty income in the School Land Trust and pay out $5000 raises to K-12 school teachers without having to raise more taxes.