From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – The Senate Health and Human Resources committee met last week to certify popular hip-hop group The Beastie Boys as Oklahoma’s “illest.” Michael Crutcher, head of the Oklahoma State Department of Health, asked for official recognition of the Boys’ illness.
“As we have known for some time, they got the ill communication,” said Crutcher,
“It is important to acknowledge that the group is, in fact, ‘licensed’ to ill.”
Committee Chair Bernest Cain, D-Oklahoma City, questioned Crutcher as to the qualifications of the Boyz from Brooklyn.
“While it is clear to me that the Beastie Boys rock the hizouse, would you also say that they got the skillz to pay the billz?”
Cain asked.
“Word up,” said Crutcher. The bill cleared the committee unanimously, following a brief pause to raise da roof.
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Golden Rule, Beatitudes among sections deemed incompatible with GOP agenda![]() By Lee Cruce, Partisan Staff Reporter One week into the 50th Legislative Session, House Republicans have forced through a bill that would amend the New Testament of the Holy Bible. Rep. John Trebilcock, R-Broken Arrow, said the changes were necessary to remove certain contradictions with orthodox GOP ideology.
Among the passages to be edited is Matthew 7:1, commonly referred to as “The Golden Rule.” Traditionally, this verse admonishes readers to treat others as they would like to be treated. However, under the Republican package, the line would be modified to specifically exclude homosexuals.
Williamson says another troublesome section is Matthew 5:1-12, also known as “The Beatitudes.” In these brief sayings, Jesus comforts people who would be omitted from Republican proposals, such as the poor, the sick and the meek. Under the republican amendments, “Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill” has been changed to, “Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice, up until $300,000, for thine Legislative Leaders have not agreed to any ‘moratorium’ on tort reform, and plan to make the issue a major component of our platform in the upcoming session.“ Trebilcock said that, in future legislation, Republicans would move to Old Testament revision, seeking to expand the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah to cover liberal voters
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The Oklahoma PartisanIn 2004 & 2005, an anonymous group of journalist/artists compiled a library of what then was contemporary humor surrounding Oklahoma state government. Sadly the venture only lasted a couple years. But the Oklahoma Partisan was a gem of political comedy. Archives
October 2024
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