From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
Officials for the Oklahoma Education Association are concerned that “Kick Your Lawmaker in the Crotch” Day is not producing the results they desire. At the annual event, teachers from across the state rally at the Capitol.
They then proceed to assault lawmakers, striking them between the legs and below the waistline as a way of drawing attention to educational issues facing the state.
“In the past, a swift kick to the groin has been good way to get someone’s attention,”
said Daisy Perosco, an official for the organization. “Once (lawmakers) are rolling and screaming on the ground, we can make our case for the importance of hiking teacher benefits.” However, some are concerned that the event has yielded diminishing returns.
Rep. Tad Jones, R-Claremore, is the chair of the House Appropriations Subcommittee on Education. He has generally avoided teachers following a “meeting” that left him walking funny for a week. Perosco said the organization is looking into more effective lobbying efforts, and plans to sponsor “Go Medieval on Their Ass” day next year.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) –
Country music superstar Toby Keith is asking lawmakers to deregulate the state’s drinkin’ and fightin’ industries. The 43-year-old Oklahoma native says government oversight has stunted the field.
“Some times you just gotta get drunk and put a boot up someone’s ass,”
said Keith.
Currently, state laws regulate the time, place and manner in which an individual may consume alcohol. Keith says such laws prevent many from entering the profession on a full time basis.
Furthermore, said Keith, current anti-fighting laws discourage the use of pool cues and broken beer bottles.
Sen. Frank Shurden, D-Hanna, will carry a similar bill in the Senate, along with an amendment that will legalize kicking city boys’ scrawny asses.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
OKLAHOMA CITY (OP) – The Senate Health and Human Resources committee met last week to certify popular hip-hop group The Beastie Boys as Oklahoma’s “illest.” Michael Crutcher, head of the Oklahoma State Department of Health, asked for official recognition of the Boys’ illness.
“As we have known for some time, they got the ill communication,” said Crutcher,
“It is important to acknowledge that the group is, in fact, ‘licensed’ to ill.”
Committee Chair Bernest Cain, D-Oklahoma City, questioned Crutcher as to the qualifications of the Boyz from Brooklyn.
“While it is clear to me that the Beastie Boys rock the hizouse, would you also say that they got the skillz to pay the billz?”
Cain asked.
“Word up,” said Crutcher. The bill cleared the committee unanimously, following a brief pause to raise da roof.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
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