From the archives of Oklahoma’s great political satire writers of decades past, we bring you this classic reprint of a spoof that caused more than a little irritation to the political class on Lincoln Blvd.
Rep. Wayne Pettigrew accused his fellow Republicans this week of actively trying to undermine his political career in retaliation for his support of all Democratic proposals that attract media attention.
Pettigrew said. The Edmond Republican first suspected his popularity in the Republican caucus had ebbed when he was reassigned to a new office that he later learned doubled as a public bathroom/leper colony. He said those suspicions were further confirmed when he was given cleanup duty in the office. Republicans said the relocation was strategic.
said sixty-five representatives who agreed to speak only on the promise of anonymity. Pettigrew said tensions worsened this week when all 47 of his Republican colleagues signed an endorsement letter mass-mailed throughout his district urging voters to support “anyone but Pettigrew.” Fundraising woes have also plagued Pettigrew’s re-election efforts since he learned the Chickasaw Nation’s pledge of contributions in return for a vote to legalize Las Vegas gambling in elementary schools would be paid in “smart cards” for tribal slot machines.
Pettigrew said his requests for financial contributions from other Republicans have been met with stony silence at best and maniacal laughter in other cases. “I think the Republicans may not be happy with me,” he said. In response, the House Republican caucus issued a press packet titled: “No Shit Sherlock: The case against braking for Wayne Pettigrew in the Parking Lot.” The packet included papers and instructions that would allow Pettigrew to change political parties. Democrats countered with their own release titled: For the love of God, stay Republican. Pettigrew said Republican hostility appeared to coincide with his string of 3,471 consecutive votes with the Democratic majority, a feat not matched since former state Rep. Fred Brooks, R-Tulsa, was indicted for bribery and kickbacks in the 1970s.
Democratic leaders openly acknowledge that Pettigrew has become a more dependable vote for their positions than Rep. Roy McClain, D-Tulsa and approximately 30 other members of the 52- member Democratic caucus. Prior to becoming the Democrats’ favorite Republican, Pettigrew was best known for legislation calling for Oklahoma to secede from the Union. That bill would have also replaced the current state flag with a Confederate Battle Flag that incorporated the image of “the finger” being flown at passers-by.
Pettigrew’s other notable legislative contribution is a bill to mandate the use of 1940s-era civics books in public schools that refer to the civil rights struggle as “trouble ahead.” In spite of receiving the cold shoulder from many Republicans in recent days, Pettigrew said he believes the “silent majority” still admire his “no nonsense” approach to pandering. “I really think I could be speaker of the House someday,” he said. His colleagues appear bewildered by that optimism. “How can a man with such bizarre hair be so oblivious to consistent criticism, ridicule and hurling of feces?” asked Rep. Lance Cargill, R-Harrah.
Others phrased their views in theological terms, with Catholic members seeing Pettigrew as punishment for their sins and Protestants viewing him as a sign of the impending Apocalypse. “Wayne Pettigrew has an ego of Biblical proportions,” said Rep. Forrest Claunch, R-Midwest City and noted Biblical scholar, “and there can be little doubt that he is the anti-Christ.”
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The Oklahoma PartisanIn 2004 & 2005, an anonymous group of journalist/artists compiled a library of what then was contemporary humor surrounding Oklahoma state government. Sadly the venture only lasted a couple years. But the Oklahoma Partisan was a gem of political comedy. Archives
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