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How Did A Retired Rancher Get Banned From Tractor Supply Store

11/24/2019

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  I've just received a letter from a reader.  You need to read it and defend the rights of our retirees. 
  "Yesterday I was at my local TSC store buying a large bag of my dog's food for my loyal livestock guard dog and was in the checkout, when the clerk asked me if I had a dog? What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again.
  I added that I probably shouldn't, because ! ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
  Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, 'no, I stepped off the curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end & a car hit me.' I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
​ I'm now banned from Tractor Supply. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of things to say."
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Don't mock a big chain checkout clerk or make her look bad in front of other customers. The boss don't like it. They have a hard enough time, filling those low-pay jobs.
Disclaimer:
  We don't censor these free speech expressions. That's for our readers to do.
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Muskogee Illuminati Holds Secret Conference

11/22/2019

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  A shadowy group of bankers, former politicians, media companies, and clergy met in secret over the past 3 days, in The Sequoyah Lodge Resort, in Rural Cherokee County. The state-run lodge refused to confirm or deny the event or share any details of the guests.  
  Speculations are rampant about the nature of the group or what their goals might be. Some believe it was a group of investors seeking some state govt. concession on tax breaks to help boost the undisclosed ventures. 
  One trash can had a map with Interstate 50 drawn through northern Oklahoma, & spanning from Las Vegas to Birmingham.
 Still others overheard talk in the lounge regarding A change in the state code to allow tax-exempt sales of medical marijuana when the dispensary is owned by a church or other 501C3 charitable nonprofit entity.
  One maintenance worker said he overheard talk of pitching to the legislature a proposed rebuilding of Fountainhead Lodge, on Lake Eufaula.  The worker said one Republican at the meeting insisted that the reason why the old Fountainhead failed was due to Democrat management and kickbacks to Gene Stipe's cronies.
  One housecleaning staffer said she only knows they didn't tip any of of the cleaning crews.
#SatireSaturday
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Will I-50 be built across northern Oklahoma?

  We're going to keep working on this lead until we get a solid story to report. Any information the public can provide will be especially helpful.  Please write to Dewey@SoonerPolitics.org
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'Dog Whistles' With Double Meanings

10/6/2019

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  Did you just affirm your allegiance to Satan & his AntiChrist? According to the logic used by conspiracy nuts, you may be condemned to hell and bearing the mark of the beast?
  The nutty echo chambers of the Anti Defamation League have gone off the deep end and lost their tether ropes. they are adrift without any orientation to objective truth.
  What better time to enjoin them with more of their own skewed rationale and indulge them yet more theories, using the proven altered reality of a deep state self justification.
  The leftists at the Anti Defamation League just published a claim to the effect that the sign language gesture of well being and contentment, is somehow a dark and evil conspiracy to promote a racist agenda from caucasian roots.
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Barack Obama was raised by his white mother & grandparents.
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  In the weeks to come, we'll expose the dark hidden meaning of;
  • closed fist,
  • open fist,
  • thumb extended, and
  • finger extended (all 4 versions)
  The ADL posted this 'WP' image on their database of 'Hate Symbols'. at this link.

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Beto Takes Pride In His Shame

7/16/2019

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  White guilt is the new sacrament of caucasian proselytes to the socialist global new order.
  Beto O'Rourke wants the world to know that he has completed his discovery of debased self worth. 
  Yesterday he jubilantly announced to the world that his dispicable white family was a slave-owning bunch.
  Now, to most families this would be a thing of quiet dishonor and perhaps a reason to draw together the grandchildren and explain the facts in a supportive environment of love, encouragement, and grief counseling.
  But Beto is a leftist Democrat politician, so he has a different prescribed process of dealing with it.
  He believes that his great, great, grandparent's behavior now makes him the best leftist candidate to move the culture and the nation past this issue.
  Cards & lettering of consoling will do nothing to help Beto.  Beto is proud. Proud of his shame. It's a pride he should be ashamed of, But it is, instead; a shame that he's proud of.
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Kaepernick Continues Assault On Female Artists

7/2/2019

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  The great matriarch, Betsy Ross, is the latest victim of Nike & their loud mouth bully, Colin Kaepernick.
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Struggling local seamstress & textile artist, Betsy Ross, confers with Commander George Washington, while Washington's troops are struggling through a terrible winter at Valley Forge.
PictureKaepernick
  This week it was announced that Nike will remove a whole new line of athletic shoes which bore the design of a Betsy Ross original. 'Old Glory' was a favorite of Commander George Washington, who commissioned Mrs Ross to create a flag which would unite all the militias of the 13 colonies.
  Ross advocated for the 5 point star and the circular alignment to demonstrate how the new sovereign states pulled together during difficult times. 

But Kaepernick says that  the Revolutionary era is an evil time in our nation's history. Therefor the struggling textile artist, Ross, is also an evil woman, just for being alive in that era.
  The Nike Line is set to lose millions of dollars by pulling the line of foot apparel. But they chose to obediently submit the corporate empire's image and marketing strategies over to the malcontent whiner who once was an athletic icon in the San Francisco bay area.
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Ross's design was included in the new release of shoes for Nike. But Kaepernick vetoed the marketing campaign when he found our Ross's art was emblazoned on the back heel.
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Fallin Considering Kansas Governorship?

1/5/2019

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- Topeka, Kansas
 Investigative journalist, Dewey Fudge has learned that Oklahoma Governor, Mary Fallin has secured the services of a real estate agent in the Topeka area. Sources in the area are withholding comment on a bid to buy a home near the Kansas state capitol. She and her husband were seen leaving a Topeka real estate office.

Former Kansas governor, Sam Brownback was also seen entertaining a couple over the Christmas holiday season, invited friends say they were reminiscing about their days in congress, and discussing ways to recover the Republican party of Kansas.
The Democrats won the Kansas governorship this past fall, after confirming to the voters that their constitutional carry rights are not in jeopardy with a Democrat governor.
Fallin has concerns for what Kansas has done, and the impact of Kansas citizens who come across the Oklahoma border packing heat. By removing the inequities in the two states, Fallin believes it will be safer for both states. Anonymous sources say that public safety is a priority for Fallin & is a compelling reason to seek an opportunity to reform Kansas. She’s also concerned that Kansans may approve cannabis medicine by legislative action, if she doesn’t do what she can to stop it.
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Mary Fallin Pledges To Continue Organizing Her Precinct

11/18/2018

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  With her 8 years in the governor's mansion coming to a close, Mary Fallin is telling her neighbors to continue coming to her home for the GOP platform meetings. She says that her husband will also volunteer to be a block captain for the precinct committee. 
  Fallin could not officially say whether her daughter will be a youth organizer in the precinct, but she's offering to continue letting her daughter park the RV in their driveway if she joins the family crusade to "take back the neighborhood for conservatism!"
  Fallin says that the local precinct is the supreme authority and power of the OKGOP in the local precinct and she wants to turn around OKC for faith, family, & freedom!
  "You have to be willing to do the things that you ask others to do. I've benefited greatly from the party volunteers across this state and I need to 'pay it forward.'"
  Fallin joins a list of politicians in retirement whom she says "continue to promote the party in the same way that the party promoted them". 
We asked to see the list, but she said; "I'll get back to you on that."
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California Needs Match Control Now

11/12/2018

Comments

 
  This morning the count from the latest mass burning was 29 deaths. California is a state with a serious problem. And matches are the leading cause of death from wildfires.
  It's time we enact sensible controls. Several times a year we hear of a person playing with matches and sometimes its a deliberate and demented person who burns the state for the thrill of it.
  • Current state & federal law allows the purchase of unlimited  propellants & igniters in little cardboard packages.
  • The dealers have no licenses to sell these propellants.
  • The buyer doesn't have to pass a mental health check.
  • No requirement is made to stipulate the purpose for the sale.
  • No training in proper & responsible use is mandated. 
  • Even a child or ex-felon can buy assault matches.
  • Extended shafts are fully legal,
  • High capacity cartridges can hold over 500 units.
  • Military grade sticks are now on the civilian market.
Mothers against Matches has begun a heroic campaign to bring sanity to a California populace who needs to be protected from the deadly and psychopathic killers in their society. 
 School children are being taught to "Say No" to matches and call 911 every time they see matches left out in the open. 
  California is now embarking on a course to be the first match-free society. A safe society. A child-friendly society. 
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Medical Marijuana Reforms Are Effective At Training Elderly To Spot Tokers

9/22/2018

Comments

 
  One of the unforeseen benefits of medical marijuana reforms is coming to light this fall. As the elderly access their new arthritis treatments they are getting a crash course in awareness of symptoms and clues about their grandkids' habits and vices.
  A study group at one Oklahoma senior day center is discussing experiences and effectiveness of cannabis meds in replacing their opiate drugs.
  "It's absolutely fabulous!" said Edmond Willis of Claremore. "Edna and I are actually sleeping peacefully  for six hours or more!"
  Johnny Anderson, from nearby Verdigris added; "My chemotherapy has been hell, but at least I'm eating again. I think I'll get through this. But my God! I can't stop eating!"
  Johnny says he also alerted his daughter and son-in-law about some cannabis plants growing in a field behind their back fence. He wouldn't have known what the weeds were if he hadn't been growing medicinal houseplants back at his condominium.
​  And Johnny warned his daughter about the boys his grandson hangs out with. "They're Stoners! I know they are, because I am one, too! I can spot them a mile away."
  Johnny told us privately that his biggest concern is not his grandson's peer pressure. He's actually more concerned that his daughter is an alcoholic and setting a worse example for the grandkids and their friends.
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Edmond & Johnny discussed ways to spot youth cannabis usage, now that they're using the new medicine to treat their ailments.

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Opiate Dispensaries Celebrate Record Growth

9/14/2018

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   Wall street is celebrating the continued success of mega giant addictive drug retailing. For the past 20 years, Walgreens and CVS have seen unprecedented nationwide growth.
  With the advent of ObamaCare, the meth & opiate industry has received record government subsidies to keep the cash cow producing for the stockholders of the largest dispensary chains, and the entire 'big pharma' sector of our economy.
  Politicians at all levels of govt. are celebrating as well. opiate-friendly drug policies have been an intended outcome of  the millions spent on campaign contributions.
  All of this could end if the cities and states allow an old class of natural medicines to be cultivated and consumed by the sheep.. ere, I mean people.
Trouble Brewing
  31 states have now bucked the entrenched power of big pharma despite the schedule-1 status that federal regulators obediently kept arbitrarily in place since many of the damn hippies turned to living naturally and avoiding the tranquilizers their parents were hooked on. 
  "We spent a lot of money to buy congress and several presidents! I'll be damned if we're going to sit by while Jeff Sessions decides to change course!"  said  one pharmacy CEO.
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    Dewey Fudge provides his perspective from satirical sources and the trash cans of Sooner Politics

      We seek to avail our readers of all the news perspectives and writing styles. To this end, we present the world without gravitas or literality.

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 SoonerPolitics.org is committed to informing & mobilizing conservative Oklahomans for civic reform & restored liberty. We seeks to utilize the efforts of all cooperative facets of the Conservative movement... Content of the diverse columns are solely at the discretion of the dozens of websites who create the content.   David Van Risseghem  is the founder of this platform.
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