Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes:

B in T Thoughts!

G.O.A.T. Tom Brady poops gold bricks according to a TMZ exclusive!!

No shat!!

I noticed that Tom Brady would not let his 6-year-old daughter hold the Super Bowl Trophy!!  His two older boys threw the trophy around like a plastic football!!  The football team party boats threw the Super Bowl trophy around like old George Blanda passes!!  Bet Giselle will take care of that shat!!  She wears the pants in dat family!

Looking out for the Redbirds!!

Are the Cardinals better than the billion-dollar payroll Dodgers after the Birds landed the best third baseman since Moses took grounders Ramses!!??  

The Nolan Areando acquisition makes the Cardinals the favorite in the National League Central and will offer the Padres and Dodgers some competition!!

Football during a pandemic is over, and what we will remember:  

No fans in the stands, then a few fans and some cardboard cutouts in quiet stadiums.

NFL daily Coronavirus testing and 3 times a week for college football testing.

The smell of hand sanitizer and nacho cheese can grow on ya!

FOS Zaven Draft watch:

The latest draft nerds have Tulsa’s Linebacker Zaven Collins going as the 16th pick to the Miami Dolphins!!  Is teal blue a thinning color??  Go Dolphins!!

FOS Bobbleheads

Bobblehead dolls for the majors were made, boxed, and never used in Pandemic 2020!!. Half a billion bobbleheads are in storage in a small town in Oklahoma that we will call Bobbletown!!  Some player bobbleheads have been traded and/or free agency to another team!!  So what can we accomplish with 500 million boxes of heads?  Finish the Trump wall?  Put the little fellas in the pandemic stadiums so they look more populated!!  Trade all the bobbleheads to China for more vaccines and cocaine!!

First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part takes an entirely different meaning!

.

1.   Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2.   The last thing I want to do is hurt you . . . but it's still on my list.

1. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public

4.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

1. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

1. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."

1. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

1. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

1. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 

1. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

1. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

1. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

Cuck the wold feather!!

Spread the Laughter, let's be happy while we're here.

Have a great sports week!!

FOS- B in T

Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

soonerpolitics.org

FOS Notes:

Treat your special someone with sports-related Valentine's Day gifts! 

1. A great gift for any spouse who loves watching bunnies play football - Brach’s chocolate-covered bunny carrying a Carmel NuGet stuffed Chocolate NFL official football ?!!
2. A subscription to Faked Out Sports can be purchased for 1.99 a month!  Great Valentines Day for the sports fan who likes to bust a gut!!
3. A dozen roses out of your favorites team colors!!  If your special honey bun loves the Oklahoma State Cowboys make them cry tears of joy (hopefully) with orange and black roses!!  Yes I said black roses!!
4. A beautiful heart-shaped cake with the entire 2021-22 schedule of your favorite team in blood-red icing!!  A particular meaning to be determined by the blood-red icing!!  This gift may not please a wifey poo but the sports maniac man of your life will love it!!
5. Beautiful lingerie for your wife with the colors of your favorite team and bouncy balls ? tassels included for no extra cost at the Pink Rose Boutique for Valentine's Day!!  Your wife may use this for her hubba bubba if that floats her boat!!

B in T updated chances for local schools to go dancing:

Tulsa - 20% - TU can't shoot and lately no D

Oklahoma - 97.89% - OU has some thoroughbreds

that can play D

Oklahoma State - 50% - Cade Cunningham makes them a shoo-in for the Dance but NCAA violations from former staff makes this year cloudy!

Arkansas - 80% - noncon schedule was a joke, but superstar freshman Moody makes them fun to watch!

ORU - 

A Super Bowl of nerds at a recent party who will remain nameless!

• Cheapscape - the dude who brings a partial six-pack of Natty Light and eats 4 plates of food!

• Blow up the bathroom dude - he will walk out of the bathroom and state that someone died in the toilet!

• The Lingerer - he will stay at the party until 30 minutes after it’s over, talking about politics or the stock market!

• The Chatty Patty - talks about Grocery sales at Sprouts through the whole stinking game!!  Might be a ‘Karen’!!  Never invite a ‘Karen’ to a party involving a ? ball!!

• Know it all dude - he played 1 year of 6th-grade football and knows more than Tom Brady!!  

• Skinny jeans young fart - hits on your wife while you are watching the Super Bowl!!

• Couch hog - this nerd takes up two spots on the prime couch spot and when he or she finally moves leaves the following:  hardened cheese;

      beer stains;

      Smashed chips;

      Small cat;

• Too Smart to watch football dude:  

      This person goes to 

      Super Bowl parties for

      spouse!! They simply 

      find an empty den and 

      read a book and 

      smokes a cigar or 

      joint!!  Talks to no one!

B in T Final Attempt at Yoga!

In yoga class, I have learned some new words and phrases that I might use in my sports stuff!!  Example: "please widen your anal blossoming stance Bryan"  also  "Bryan , please refrain from flatulating while doing rear flexes' and finally ' Mr Lohmeyer, there is NO grunting, howling, or cussing in yoga, and please modify your deep body bends to a less exposed position!!!   I do not think I will last much longer in this Yoga stuff!  Pilattes??  Thats coffee right??  Venti pilate mocha??  Right??  ??

Bobblehead Sports:

Why Parents Do Not Wear Masks to the YMCA Children Sporting Events:

1. Their children do not wear masks so mom and dad ain’t gonna!
2. Wearing a mask ? shows that you support communism and are not a patriot of the USA according to numerous folks who crashed the White House!!
3. The masks clash with their wife-beater t-shirts!!
4. They can show off the teeth they DO have!!

FOS College Basketball Picks:

Michigan 78 Illinois 75

The Big Ten knows how to recruit big tight ends in football and 6’7” slow power forwards and still win!!

Oklahoma 74 at West Virginia 72

The Sooners are tough with Barry Manilow Manek and Austin Reaves back in the lineup and healthy post coronavirus!!

Arkansas 88 at Missouri 85

Superstar, one and done Moses Moody from the Hogs lit up the Tigers for 21 in the second half and signed and shoe contract after the game!!  No shat!!

ORU 71 South Dakota State 68

The Golden Eagles get a huge road win in Brookings, South Dakota, and then immediately head to Fargo, North Dakota in a puddle jumper plane to find a McDonald's to get a Big Mac!!  The team was promised Micky Ds or a Big Foot hunt if they win and they picked the burgers!!

Oklahoma State 82 Kansas State 66

The OSU Cowboys are playing good tournament basketball under coach Boynton!!  He can recruit but can he coach in the tough as chicken gizzards Big 12 conference!!??  I like their chances in the big DANCE in Indianapolis if they are not excluded by the NCAA violations brah!!!

Have a great sports week!!

Bryan in Tulsa