Bryan in Tulsa

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B in T Visits the PGA at Southern Hills:

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Gorgeous scenery at Southern Hills, the handicap area is awesome for us with limited mobility!!  This is take your dad to work day and my gracious son took the time to show B in T the back roads of Southern Hills!  Like the back lots of Universal Studios the back lots of the PGA is massive and impressive!!   I hung with the volunteers behind the scenes and met the gentleman in charge of the grounds!!  After I hugged Lance he went back to hortorculturing work!!  At this time B in T was the responsibility of Andre, son-in-law deluxe!!  From 1 till 3 Andre fed Papa B in T lunch consisting of a 20-dollar Michelob Platinum beer, and a hot dog!!  I saw Tiger Woods  practicing driving, John Rahm teeing off, Rickie Fowler teeing off, and Scottie Scheffler hitting practice balls out of a bunker on the 7th hole!!  Great pictures and memories for my family

BOBBLEHEAD SPORTS:

Granddaughter Frankie in OKC is 3 going on 18 and can recite all dinosaurs that the Lord has created!  She found a G rated movie called, you guessed it, Dinasour and a small disagreement on what type of dinosaur ate a giant prehistoric warthog!!  After a mini-debate, she produces a dinosaur from one of 10 dinosaur books that looked exactly like the movie!!  So one more time that Papa was out thunk by his grandchildren!!

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Day 16 of Lance Guarding the PGA Trophy:

The Last week of Guarding the PGA Championship Trophy!!  Nothing major has occurred except when a cute young lady tried to get a picture with the trophy without paying the 25-dollar fee!!  The young Cascia Hall student was leveled to the ground on the long 12th hole at Southern Hills by two Horticulture experts who put her in a headlock until she forked over the 25 dollars!!  Heroes Lance and another gentleman who has requested his identity be concealed, were given autographed Tiger Woods balls for their heroism!!  

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B in T Notes:

There are two types of Power Rankings!!  Analytics vs Diaper Usage:

College Football Power Rankings Top 10:

These 2022 rankings are calculated using the expected point margin against an average team on a neutral field!!

1. Alabama Crimson Tide
2. Ohio State Buckeyes
3. Georgia Bulldogs
4. Clemson Tigers
5. Notre Dam Fighting Irish
6. Texas Longhorns
7. Michigan Wolverines
8. Oklahoma Sooners
9. Pittsburgh Panthers
10. Auburn Tigers

B in T Family and Pet Flatulent Power Rankings Top 10:

To all future Grandparents especially my best friend Brett!!

These rankings are calculated by the number of diapers blown up or eyes watered!!

1. Charlie, granddaughter - Gas mask required when hugging!
2. Gus, the only male Grandchild, poor fella!  Last year his second-grade class was sent outside for 15 minutes because of a stink bomb, hmmmmm?  Good one Gussy!!  Very proud Papa!!
3. Ana, the oldest granddaughter, once threw a loaded diaper splat dab on Papa B in T’s head, mild concussion!  Papa in Concussion protocol for one week!!
4. Tie - Frankie and Rosie- My OKC grandkids, limited samples from both rugrats due to OKC visits only.  Papa heard from his son-in-law Clark that their diaper's odor can stop a charging Rhino!!   

  6.  Elliott - only 4 months old -         almost finished a whole plate of jalapeno tater tots!  Diaper explosions to a whole notha level!

   7.  Nula - granddaughter - small sample size but Mimi says very loaded diaper, like the rest!

   8.  Nibbles - cat -  litter box in house is now litter box in the garage!!  The hazmat team refused to enter our house!!  No shat folks!

   9.  Toast - Gus and Ana Torihno family dog - the giant puppy eats everything!  Unfortunately, everything that goes in must come out!

  10.  Henry - dog - 8 years old, small, still like to do stinkies in the house!!

  

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Golden Hurricane vs Golden Tornados?!?!?!

B in T has been asked close to 100,000 times “uh sir, what the f _ _ _ is a Golden Hurricane”??  Thanks to some Wikipedia research, I discovered my theory of tornadoes with dirt circulating equals Golden Hurricane is wrong!!  The name "Golden Tornadoes" was chosen by TU football coach H.M. Archer (1922–24) based on new gold and black uniforms (rather than the previous orange and black) and a remark made during practice of the team "roaring through opponents" (during a season when TU went undefeated, including wins over Texas A&M and the University of Arkansas!!  However, it was quickly discovered that the same name had been chosen in 1917 by Georgia Tech Archer then substituted the term "hurricane” for "tornado” and a team vote prior to leaving for the game against Texas A&M confirmed the official nickname as "Golden Hurricane"!  Team vote?  Really?

What will the new team name be?

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Just when u thought another Bixby Presley has left the building,  another Presley will debut for OSU in 2026!!

Bixby freshman athlete Braeden Presley is already 5-11, 158 pounds!!  He is playing DB for an elite 7x7 team in Oklahoma!!  Probably heading to be with his brothers at Oklahoma State!!

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B in T Tidbits:

• New Basketball Coach and New Proposed Basketball Court!

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• The house pictured below is:

1. Where Freddie Kruger grew up.

1. Where Halloween 2 was filmed.

1. B in T birthplace farmhouse in Western Grove, Arkansas.

1. “Twister” movie Aunt’s Walika, Ok house destroyed by tornado

  5.   “Amityville” house.

*Answer - Same number equals Brett Favre's football number!

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• OU Venables needs a Pull-Back Coach?  Over 545 resumes have been sent to the OU Athletic office for the person who holds hyperactive, lab rat on crack, coach Venable's back from the field!!  and the referees with a pull-back rope!!

Venables could:

1. Hire hIs pullback coach from Clemson, may be too expensive!
2. Hire local Norman club bouncers!  Very cheap, 15 bucks an hour!
3. Hire local cattle or horse wranglers.
4. Or purchase a shock caller and save human resource costs!

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• *What is a hipster?  Picture Head Coach Lincoln Riley in L.A. or Head Coach Kliff Kingsbury in Arizona in skinny jeans!!  See below for a profile of a hipster:

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• *Will someone tell me when the NBA playoffs start?  Usually around the 4tb of July!  Just sayin!

MLB

Cardinals:  Hovering around 3 games over .500!!  My hopes have been dashed so I am officially looking for the Anthlon College Football magazines!!

Dodgers:  The AAA Dodger team in OKC could make the MLB playoffs!  Sickening, the rich get richer, and the Cardinals get suckier!  

Astros:  No need to cheat, the Stros are good!! 

Royals:  As the Royals win so does the Barbeque in KC!  More wins, more fans, and more mouths to eat the world-famous KC barbecue!

Rangers:   Looks like the Rangers will once again be the Astros biiiotch in 2022!

Have a great sports week!!

Bryan in Tulsa!!

Bryan in Tulsa

Bobblehead Family 

Sports:

Kids Can Get in Free at the PGA Championship!!  Free!!  Face painting, Jupiter jumps bouncy things, miniature horsey rides, and more fun for the kids while mom and dad watch the PGA at Southern Hills!!  This idea of opening up a small amusement park at the Masters similar to S.H.  in Tulsa is brilliant!!  The 2023 PGA Championship may have a dog park!!  

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Day 9 of Lance Guarding the PGA Trophy:

Wife Keli put her foot down when Lance asked to put the Trophy in their bed after having a horrible dream!!  The PGA Championship trophy should never preclude your marriage!!  Wait.........how much is it worth?  Jk

B in T notes:

Tulsa Should be Very Proud of BTW’s Tyler Lockett

Tyler Lockett leads the NFL with 10.6K total yards since 2015!

He was drafted 69th overall to the Seahawks in 2015.  Talent is everywhere in the draft and although the 2022 draft was average at best there will be a Tyler Locket hiding in the late rounds or free agencies!!  Tyler is from Tulsa, and attended Booker T. Washington High School, where he graduated in 2010. During the 2021-2022 season, Tyler created custom cleats for each NFL game this season to highlight parts of his hometown that were special to him, including QuikTrip cleats, which were featured in his prime-time Thursday night game against the Los Angeles Rams last year!!

TU Lineman is Amazing!

Chris Paul was just drafted by the

Commanders!!!  Paul played right tackle, left guard, and right guard and in high school, he was a team captain and school president at Jersey Village High School!!  Paul excelled academically and graduated with a degree in computer information systems and is currently working on his master’s degree!!  He received high marks from NFL teams for leadership and character and consistently graded out at 91% or higher!!  He is a talented musician - singer and after listening to his music on a TU podcast, Chris  should replace some of the older Earth Wind and Fire singers!!

B in T Worst Tailgates in College Football:

1. Boston College

The fans are just as likely to be sporting a mix of Celtics, Red Sox and Patriots gear as the Eagles’ Maroon and Gold!  There is little knowledge or excitement among the student body and alumni, with few Eagles jerseys visible other than Doug Flutie or Matt Ryan. The stadium lots are tiny, extremely expensive!!

1. Duke

The Blue Devils have several restrictions regarding tailgating which reek of prison restrictions!!

Haha JK!  But close!

1. Notre Dame

Between patrolling campus police an elitist alumni, the no-fun police are out in force!  When Tulsa fans became loud at a ND tailgate party, the South Bend Police SWAT team surrounded the blue hair Golden Hurricane group and then confiscated their beers and bong pipes!!  No fun again!!  No arrest were made but 

1. West Virginia

Nobody parties harder and better than the Mountaineers but the chances are extremely high that your truck will be stolen while watching the game!!

1. Wisconsin

They fricking administer a breathalyzer test before allowing stadium access!!  The Badgers should be ranked higher!

1. Tulsa

Smack dab in da middle of the Bible Belt folks!  I have tailgated in 10 different areas around Chapman Stadium over the last 50 years and have never been offered a joint!?!? Just kidding!!  I have been offered Special Brownies!!  Should be higher!

B in T Tidbits:

• When I coached kids softball my daughters wore bows, ribbons and pink unis!!  Those were the days!!  The 45-1 Oklahoma Sooner softball team with 35 run rule games wear no pink and eat red meat not kale for dinner!!  Possibly the best softball in history!!  Just take the entire Sooner girls to the Summer Olympics in Paris in 2024!!  

• The 3 Amigos will end their careers with World Series Championships in 2022!!

• Harry Carray’s great-grandsons are identical twin brothers who are announcers for the Double-A Amarillo Sod Farmers!!  Chris and Stephan Carray are 22 years old and when broadcasting in Tulsa are seen at the Buccaneer Bar and Elgin Park Bar and Grill!!

• ORU basketball stud, Max Ambas, really should stay another year for Grad school!

• PGA Championship Numbers 2022:  It's the largest month for tourism in the history of Tulsa,” said Ashleigh Bachert, Tulsa Regional Tourism interim senior VP. “We have rates ranging anywhere from $250 for a very lower end limited service all the way up to $1,200 for a higher end, full service property.”
• Bachert says the one of the best indicators besides tax revenue brought in is bedroom stays per year. In 2020, Tulsa booked just 90,000 rooms because of the pandemic compared to this year, when stays for the PGA alone will nearly eclipse that, with 218,000 room nights already booked for 2022. The legacy and the long term impact that hopefully we have, and you talk about economic impact that can be measured in terms of tax revenue and things that, happen throughout the course of the week, and obviously the months leading up,” said PGA Championship Director Bryan Karns!!. “But it's really that long term establishment of Tulsa and the viability to host big events!  If you want a restaurant reservation, Bachert says that week may be better served at the drive through for us Tulsans.  “We can't find reservations, so my house may be hosting some evening events here shortly,” said Bachert.

MLB

Cardinals - 18 - 13 - Juan Yepez has replaced all the 6 of the DHs that have been used so far for the Birdies!!   This 23-year-old rookie has a nice bat and can play RF and 1B!  Batting .500 after 5 games with a .780 slugging average!!  Paul Dejong is batting .134 and that is after a 2 game hitting streak!!  Memphis AAA stud Gorman hits a home run every time he farts!!  Thirteen singers so far and why is he not batting fifth for the Birdies is beyond my realm of thinking!!  If confused about a Gorman call up to St. Louis write to Paul Mozeliak at PO Box 3, RR 1, Grey Summitt, Mo. 74115!!

Cubs - 11 - 16 - the little Cubby bears played the Dodgers 5 times and lost all 5 games by a combined 28 to 8 score!!  The good news is that they play the Dodgers 0 times the rest of the year and they are ahead of the Cincinnati Reds by 10 games for last place in the NL central!!

Rangers - 11- 17 - again I am claiming the best way to go to sleep is to put on headphones (1993 Radio Shack) then tune in to Eric Nadel and relax!!   The Rangers are playing much better and their sticks are picking up!!  Adolis Garcia continues to hit and Cory Seager could be an all-star on a winning team!

Royals - 10-17 -  the Royals are having George Brett Bobblehead Day on May 28th, and the first 10k fans will get bobbleheads!!  Hopefully, their attendance will even be 10k!!

Astros - 19-12 - Mighty Mite Jose Altuve stands 5’4” and can hit a ball 450ft!!  Might check that bat ump, just sayin!

Have a great sports week!

B in T 

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

The Center for Individuals with Physical Challenges played in their first USA-sanctioned Bocce tournament in Kansas City!!  We had a party of a time and 3 of us qualified for Nationals in August!!  

Some of us purchased some USA 

gear to take back to Tulsa!!

Great fun, and a Special Thanks to Margie, Leslie, Anthony, and of course Priscilla who was assigned to certain crazy members!!

B in T BOBBLEHEAD FAMILY SPORTS:

#1 B in T Fan, Uncle Thurston, is Learning Bocce Ball at the Ripe Ole Age of 94!

For the last 4 or 5 years, our Uncle Thurston has given B in T numerous positive words (each week) with love every time!!  He loves ❤️ the B in T football picks and gives me statistics about how my picks suck!!  A few times during the pandemic he was the only one responding to my writing, and I love him for it!!  He has been intrigued lately by my Paralympic Bocce Ball so a few days ago at his nursing home near Plano, Texas, he started playing Bocce Ball and on his first day won two frickin games!!  That's a good month for me!! 

Here is Thurston’s text:

“I played my first Bocce ball game today and did better than I thought I would.  The ball is a lot heavier than I expected.  I knocked my opponents ball into winning twice and they did the same for me once 

I at least know what you were talking about now

Thurston”

He is a pretty cool young man, never too late to start Bocce Ball or any sport!!  Also, give Aunt Pat a hug ( she is only 92)!!  Thurston's quote, he gives me every week is “keep on keeping on B in T”!  Ooops he just texted me, gotta go!!

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B in T notes:

B in T Son in law Andre wins the PGA Midwest Assistant tournament last week!!

With the PGA at Southern Hills looming in 2 weeks Andre Torinho won the 2022 PGA assistant’s  match play Championship last Tuesday at Meadowbrook!!  So proud of this young man and yes I am gloating!!  The gents at Southern Hills stop what they are doing to see and\or hear Andre hit a 360-yard drive off of the 12th hole!!  The air in south Tulsa is let out when Andre bombs another golf shots at Southern Hills are legendary!!  He once hit a shot with so much thrust that two golfers in his foursome lost their toupes!!  True story!!  Andre is more famously known for hitting a golf ball on a laddie pencil ✏️ tee across I35 near a Blackwell, Oklahoma farm!!  Some Blackwell folks say this was a 450-yard shot and may still be rolling towards Wichita!!  

Day 2 of Lance Guarding the PGA Trophy:

Lance was seen at the new Aldi on Harvard picking out yellow squash while a giant PGA trophy loomed in his 25-cent Aldi shopping cart!!  Super job Lancer!!

Is Bama Losing It?

Here are SEC schools with a more recent National Championship than Alabama, yes these teams were National Champs in such sports as Diving, Nude rowing, Table Tennis, Bocce Ball, and Croque - BUT never the less these NCAA Championships have occurred AFTER January 8th 2020!

• South Carolina

• Florida

• Kentucky

• Georgia

• Mississippi State

• LSU

• Ole Miss

• Arkansas

I am afraid the Tide has washed up!  Ha!  Blackwell, Oklahoma  humor!!

Way too EARLY B in T top 10 - Local 2023 College Basketball

(favoritism allowed)

1. Oklahoma State - Bryce Thompson and a super coach Boynton equals National Champions 2023!
2. Arkansas  - more talent than ever for the Napoleon coach!  Hog coach could fit under Nolan Richardson’s armpit!!  Both super Arkansas coaches!!
3. Oklahoma - Yukon Cornelius’ brother is back at center for the Sooners! 
4. Tulsa - new coach Eric Konkol brought 4 players back from portal land to Tulsa again!!  Nice move and a new outlook!
5. ORU - Guard McBride will replace Abmas and lead them to a 24 - 6 record!
6. Oklahoma Women - great 2nd-year coach, after second-round NCAA loss to Notre Dame by 40, Coach Beranszik made the girls shoot 500 free throws each before bed!!  They went to see The Batman the next day at the 2$ Cinema!!  Great coaching!

1. Booker T Washinton - 4 or 5 players are already being recruited by Tulsa's new coach Eric Konkol!
2. Kentucky - Kentucky coach Vidal Hair Spray, has some talent staying one more year plus other 5 star freshmen blue-chippers so...SSDD (same shat different day)
3. Kansas - New allegations regarding racketeering, drugs, and prostitution enabled Self to recruit every 5-star player in the world!!  Sounds like a cool place to learn!!  Bill also was rewarded with a 1 million dollar a year raise!!
4. Texas A & M - I am just adding the Aggies to see if our family members in Houston still read B in T stuff!!

The Ohio High School Athletic Association will vote on whether or not to allow high school athletes to receive $$$s for their name and likeness!!  We all are going to move to Canada!  NIL in high school, OMG!!!

B in T Tidbits:

• Three topics that cause fights in a men's or women’s locker room:  1.  Money  2. Religion  3. Women 

• Brady Manic's look-alike is Yukon Cornelious AKA Abominable Snowman Hunter

• The Boz has come a long way to be the Sherriff of Fansville in Dr. Pepper commercials!!

• 2026 Caddo (OK) DE/EDGE Colton Yarbrough picks up Incarnate Word offer!!  At 6’5” 210 lbs, this high school freshman with jets will be getting more offers similar to Lebron James' son at the age of 7!!  Vanderbilt just offered Colton his his first Pawer 5 offer!!  No shat!!  OU, OSU Arkansas, and TU will be watching!!  Good job by new ICW coach GJ Kinne from TU!

• Dear Offspring of B in T:  Just because I have trouble hanging up face time calls, does not mean my meds are all jacked up, or we need to call in a Silver old fart missing Alert!!  

B in T SCOOP - THE NEW MASCOT IS MIXING THE OLD AND THE NEW!  MEET HUFFY HURRICANE!!

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MLB

Cardinals:

The Redbird's 14-9 record is good but Arenado’s bench brawling record is UNDEFEATED!!  Don't make the Redbird third base mad, just ask the entire Met team whom he challenged and charged after an average brush-back pitch!!  Rising star second baseman Gorman has 13 home runs in his first 20 games in Triple-A Memphis, while struggling Paul DeJong has had 13 strikeouts in his last 20 at-bats!  Analytic that shat!!

Dodgers:

The Dodger ownership agreed to throw in another 500 million to the payroll, so their pitching staff could have a new Bombardier Lear Jet each!!  20-1. Jk

Rangers:

These sluggers won two in a row for the first time all year last week and are currently in search for another two-game streak!  7-13

Royals:

The attendance at Royals Stadium is doing remarkably well which means that the pandemic no mask and vaccine folks are out in mass!  8-12

Astros:

Attendance is booming after the pandemic and trash can embarrassment is finally over!

11-10

Have a great sports week!!

Bryan in Tulsa