Bryan in Tulsa

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Relax, Don't Fret Sooner Nation!

The entire Sooner Nation fan base has just entered the transfer portal, destination:  Oklahoma Thunder Basketball, Oklahoma State or TU football (never), Tulsa Ballet Theatre holiday season tickets, watch a movie, talk to the wife with no TV, sit on the back patio and listen to 104.5 The Edge with 2 brownies AND simply enjoy life without the Sooners!! ..until next week!!.........hahaha-hehehe!?????

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

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Happy University of Tulsa Homecoming 2022!!  The young man below’s Dad and Papi are both TU alums (only one lettered)!  The future looks bright!!

The B in T Golden Hurricane team may struggle this year but the memories will be in this blog!  Here is to college basketball ? season ??????!!

Bobblehead Sports:

B IN T TRICK-OR-TREAT RULES:

Safety First

You and your family can have a fun and spooky night of trick-or-treating if you keep a few general things in mind to stay safe, for instance:

• Walk — don’t run — from house to house using sidewalks when possible
• Be aware of and avoid open flames like candles in jack-o'-lanterns
• Avoid homemade treats and only eat factory-wrapped candy!
• Remove your child’s makeup soon after trick-or-treating to avoid skin irritation!
• Children under 12 should have an adult along to supervise.
• If a child is old enough to trick-or-treat without an adult, he or she should still go with a group of friends and they should stick to familiar houses and neighborhoods!
• If you have a group of older children heading out alone, consider turning on a mobile tracker app so you can follow their progress from home!
• If your kids are going out on their own, set up a timeline expectation. For instance, have the kids check in at specific times throughout the night and set a curfew!
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• Additional Bryan in Tulsa Recommendations:
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•   1. Never have chocolate smeared all over your face and tell mom you have not had any candy yet!  Not smart little Minion!

•   2.  Don't leave the old bong paraphernalia around the living room while handing out Halloween candy!
•    3.   Don't eat more candy than you hand out!
•    4.   When handing out candy at Grandkids' houses, stay mindful that they have little Cameras that can spy on Grandpas while they babysit or hand out candy!!?? 

B in T College Picks:

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Iowa State 28 Oklahoma 21

Iowa State homecoming standing-room-only crowd watched the FOX 11 AM game of the week!  In the first quarter of 19-degree weather and 13 inches of snowfall, Jack Trice Stadium was packed with 60,000 Clone fans looking like red and yellow popsicles!!  And amid the chill of the freezing snow, Clone Nation was mixing drinks of 75% moonshine, 15% tequila, and 10% orange juice for the 7 am tailgate breakfast!!  OU did not bring their neon red parkas and frostbite may have played a factor!! Clone offense out bores the Sooners by 7 points!!

                          BV

Kansas State 38 Oklahoma State 35

Great game, great fans and in a show of sportsmanship both sides' fans hugged each other after the slugfest!  Coach Gundy was so upset with the no-call pass interference call against OSU superstar Braelyn Pressley wideout, that he did not sing the Alma mater with the team after the game!!  Tragic move by the shrewd but emotional former Mullet Man!!

Tulsa 36 SMU 31

True story:  A great game was only topped by an incident after the game at the Polo Grill at, you guessed it, Utica Square!!  The Pony Club of elite SMU donors had a private table in the Tiki room at the Polo Grill for the after game party!!  The new TU up-and-comers alumni group of 25 to 35-year-olds were sitting at a private table at The Polo Grill as well!!  The TU old-school yuppies decided to start singing the TU fight song followed by a well-pitched rendition of Chicago’s 25 or 6 to 4!!  The Pony Club THEN stood up and sang a 70s rendition of Riding the Storm Out by REO Speedwagon in acapella!!  Yes it is official, this was the first-ever alma mater sing-off ever between TU and SMU alums!!  At Utica Square!!

Both team alums had a great time drinking and hugging the waitresses!!  and waiters too!!

Texas A&M 28 0le Miss 27

The A&M Defense held up at the end and blocked an 8-yard field goal!!

Illinois 38 at Nebraska 21

Illinois is the new all-electric car in the Big 10, sleek, economical, eco-friendly, and can charge up at any AKO Campsite!!  Illinois, Georgia, Ohio State and Alabama are my new pick for the final 4!!  Yes u heard it here first!

Arkansas 24 at Auburn 20

Auburn looks like the only other road team that the Piglets are going to be able to defeat this year!!  With the dead man-walking Auburn coach currently hiding in West Antarctica, the Tigers may fall into the same ill-fated no wins for the remainder of the season bucket as our beloved Sooners!

Boston College 31 at UConn 21

The Uconn Huskies were formerly in the same conference as the Tulsa University Golden Hurricane but after a 21-59 record in the American Athletic Conference the smarter minds of the Uconn Athletic Department (sarcasm belongs here) decided to move to the stronger and more prestigious Atlantic Coast Conference where Uconn will never win a conference game EVER!!

B in T High School Picks:

Cascia Hall 38 at Inola 6

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Pumpkin Man was spotted in Inola for the Cascia Hall football game!!  The Man of Pumpkin handed out thousands of magical cupcakes to the Inola Longhorn fans who had no clue that their football team was being demolished by the Cascia Hall Commandos!!  Thanks for those Treats, Pumpkin Man!!   

B in T Mom O Meter

Inola Moms .960

Cascia Moms .955

The final event, although somewhat controversial, pitted the Inola moms against the Cascia moms in the Pumpkin ? Chunking contest!!  The Inola moms have a two million dollar grant from the Tulsa Pumpkin Town to develop Punkin Chunking equipment!!

So the final win with a chunk of 4 football fields were the Inola moms, the Cascia Hall toss did not register on the pumpkin toss scale!!

See below:

Inola

Cascia Hall

B in T Diner of the Week:

Pops and Gigi’s

99 Commercial St.

Inola, OK 74141

Pops and Gigi's atomic chili cheese fries with Ghost Peppers are said to be the best fries since Eskimo Joe was a baby!!  Snoop Dogs’ tour bus stopped by Inola’s Pops for the atomic chili cheese fries this June on their way to inspect some of his 100 cannabis shops Oklahoma!!

Bixby 52 at Moore 21

What seemed to be a close game between the East power Bixby and the Moore Lions ended up a route when the Moore team realized they were outmatched on the football field and the sideline pom pon dance routine that brought a standing ovation from both sides!!  The Spartan cheer squad did in it's entirety, the broadway rendition of ‘Cats’ at halftime!!  This of course outdid the Moore cheer squad and its rendition of Cat Scratch Fever by Theodore Nugent III, or Ted Nugent for those in the NRA world!!

Union 48 Edmond Memorial 6

The Union linebacker NIL (Name, Image, and likeness) monies have grown to $250,000 due to Braylen Irvin Fisher’s picture in VYPE football magazine of him bench-pressing 2 Jackie Cooper 2023 7 series auto!!

Google it!!

Jenks 42 Broken Arrow 35

Jenks is still hiding in the background to pounce when Bixby or Union mess up!!

Bishop Kelley 60 Nathan Hale 6

Bishop Kelley and Nathan Hale played each other for the first time since the nude javelin throws in the 150 AD Olympics!!

Tonkawa 46 Chelsea 12

The Tonkawa Elks Club President, also Mrs. B in T’s cousin-in-law Charlie, entertained the halftime crowd by playing Chicago’s 70s hit 25 or 6 to 4 on his electric accordion!!  Thanks to our cousin-in-law Charlie and the 100 Tonkawa hats he dons!!   Below are my Tonkawa family and B in T Tonkawa Correspondents!!

Newkirk 36 at Blackwell 24

Blackwell's parents will no longer supply the team after-game Godfathers Pizza until they win a game!!  They WILL supply the opposing team Godfathers Pizza with party favors!

Cushing 52 Oolagah 14

Mike ??❤️

The Cushing public schools were given a stiff warning for allowing their halftime show to go 2 minutes over the mandatorily required state maximum of 12 minutes and 30 seconds!!  According to the numbers from my staff, 2 minutes of delay in deer hunting season, with 1,000 loaded guns AND a game delay of 2 minutes is equivalent to a small 4-horned deer, so no harm!!  The 200$ hunting fine was paid by the Cushing FFA, showing their support hunting in Oklahoma!! Cushing folks take deer season seriously, football too!!

B in T NFL Picks:

Cowboys 31 Bears 9

The Bears had to use their backup field goal kicker from Norway named Franz Dicker the kicker!!  He was discovered with the Russian dance team last year at the Russian Nutcracker performance!!  He once kicked a toy Nutcracker 60 yards!!  Dickey was signed immediately!!  He missed a 30-yard field goal but nailed a 61 harder!!  The Bears still have not scored a touchdown by their offense since the arrival of Pumpkin Man!

Cardinals 32 at Vikings 27

The leash for skinny jeans coach Kliff Kingsbury is short, I personally think Zaven Collins from TU should be the next coach, or maybe the ex-TUer Lovie Smith with Houston Texans!!  Definitely a TU homer call!!

Have a great sports week!

B in T

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Halloween ? Cookies

with Gus!!

I know that at least one or two of my 13 followers are thinkin that the added brown stuff on top is either a Twix bar or Gustavo may have snuck a dog dookie on Papa’s cookie?!?!?!

IMG_1462.HEIC

Updated B in T High School Rankings

1  Bixby - so obvious

2  Bixby JV - ditto

3  Union Tulsa - Lots of D1      studs!

4  Jenks - QB Owens is dope!

5   Stillwater- QB Gundy NIL deal is worth 100s of dollars!

6   Cushing - 3 Billion dollar oil refinery deal puts them in the top 6!

7   Oklahoma - offense is back

8   Coweta - QB Na’Kylsn Starks is run first but man can he run and knock ur head plum off!!

9   Mustang - add west side teams here

10 Norman North - ditto

11  Owasso - the legend of - The Blankenship continues until he retires and gets a farm in Spiro!

12  Tonkawa - great Americana town, and great small school football!!  One more item, great relatives with a gluten-free moonshine still!!

13  Cascia Hall - they do super for a team that has 110 players and no one weighs more than 200 lbs!

14  Muskogee - Awesome brand new stadium and attitude

15  Carl Albert - always good and Uncle Howard once roamed the CA halls with a huge principal paddle!  With holes!

16  Lincoln Christian - 3A dynasty is spelled LC

Bobblehead Sports:

B in T College Picks:

                         BV

OU vs Idle

OU football team takes a 2-night trip to Silver Dollar ?Halloween, in Branson, Missouri during BV took the entire Defense to the Extreme Haunted Hayride!  This is Missouri's largest and most famous haunted hayride doubles as the star attraction at Hanna Haunted Acres!!Tension builds as the tractor pulls you through the cursed woods, where ghastly creatures and grisly beasts await!!  In past years, guests have been terrorized by animatronic monsters ranging from super-sized spiders to a pumpkin king rising from the flames, as well as dedicated actors dressed up like witches, ghouls, and more!!  Masked actors may even try to climb aboard the wagon with you!!

After 2 minutes on the ride, several players left because of EXTREME FEAR!!!  ??

OU football player after

EXTREME HAYRIDE!?

Tulsa 38 at Temple 32

There are not a lot of historical remembrances of Temple football to my age-old farts!!  The only knowledge of the Temple Owls for me is comedian Bill Cosby went to school there!!  We are all aware of Paul Harvey's rest of the story, with Mr. Cosby!!  Temple is smack dab in the middle of Philadelphia and close to Eye of the Tiger and Rocky!!  Tulsa has kept 80% of it's games within 6 points over the last 3-plus years!!  So guess what, the ‘Cane’ rule the Owls by 6!!  A great road win for TU and a game closer to Bowl Eligibility!  Ha!  I will be watching the TU game quietly in a bar in Houston Friday night!!  My superhuman Houston relatives are having our annual Halloween ?? / Fall Football excursion to our Woodland, Texas Bed and Breakfast with chocolates on the pillows (Halloween Peanut M&Ms)!!

Oklahoma State 42 Texas 31

This game ticket in Stillwater has been sold out since Coach Gundy offered to give one clump of his trimmed mullet hair with every ticket sold!!  The tickets were sold out one week before the kickoff!!  Amazingly there was plenty of Gundy mullet hair left!!  The stadium paddles were pounding the Cowboy walls, the waves of wheat were waving, and the Cowboy offense was led by Bixby’s Brennan Pressley’s 7 catches for 142  yards and 2 touchdowns!!

Baylor 41 Kansas 34

Baylor and OSU seem to be fighting for the top spot in the Big 12!!  The Kansas Jayhawks are the surprise team in the whole wide world!!  The last time KU was relevant in football was when coach Mark Mangino threw his weight around the Big 12 in 2004 to 2008 seasons!!

Texas A&M 31 at South Carolina 21

The Aggies are staring smack dab at the Stayfree Independence Bowl against Tulsa!!  Also, according to my 9-year-old grandson source,  Tulsa and Texas A&M will trade coaches after the bowl game, straight up, and the Aggie Trustees have agreed to pay BOTH coaches' salaries!

Wake Forest 31 Boston College 24

BC is struggling with its mental approach to football, and once you lose, put that loss behind you and ‘start over again’ as the song goes!!  

Wake Forest is a top-25 program and the Eagles, a la Tulsa University, have been attempting to be a top-25 team for 100 years plus!!  Have faith in Eagle ? Pride, we are still bowl-eligible!!

TCU 28 Kansas State 27

The Horned Toads are thrilled that the KState Mild Cat’s kicker was hungover after the Sewer Party at the Sigma Chi house!!

Ohio State 42 Iowa 21

The Buckeyes have talent and mystery around the team according to many of my TMZ Halloween correspondences!!  

Many are reporting that Ohio State head coach Ryan Day is wearing Just For Men Beard Blackening!!  Count Dracula?  ?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️

?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️

Notre Dame 48 Nevada 21

The Notre Dame fan base must let Coach Freeman have time to breathe before they start jumping down his throat!!  The Irish dominated the Wolf Pack in every phase of the game!  At half time the award ? winning Wolfpack cheerleaders had an impromptu cheer-off with the Irish cheer team!!  The scene brought a tear to numerous cheer coaches throughout America!!

B in T High School Picks:

Pumpkin Man spotted at Hominy vs Tonkawa game at the home of the Bucks!!  

So we have the Bucks of Hominy vs the Bucaneers of Tonkawa!!  Again, a small incident happened before the game when a crowd of 8,000 was lined up all over the wheat fields to see this furrrickin game and gather goodies from PM (Pumpkin Man)!!  A Tonkawa mom and a Hominy mom argued over the last team program and neither would share!!  After a long talk with the Hominy Police and 5 cupcakes from Pumpkin ? Man, the two arch-rivals hugged and became besties for life!!❤️  

Tonkawa 31 at Hominy 27

MOM O METER 

HOMINY MOMS .978

TONKAWA MOMS .966

The Hominy moms edged out the Tonkawa mothers in the weightlifting when 125 lb Shila Holtgrafer from Hominy benched 258lbs almost twice her weight and winning the Gold medal!!

Claremore 31 Bishop Kelley 28

The Claremore Zebra helmet design is close to the Cincinnati Bengals, but not quite as ugly!!  Claremore kicker hits a 17 and one-half-yard field goal that eeeeeeks over the crossbar as time runs out!!

Bixby 72 Westmore 12

A number of the Bixby and Westmore FFA members (Future Farmers of America) were caught with a Spartan hookah bong behind the newly marbled Spartan locker room!!  Several Bixby parents confiscated the hookah bong and were found later laughing and howling at the moon for hours!!

Blackwell 27 at Chisholm 24 

Blackwell had a mid-season exchange student from Brazil named Rafa Sasha kick 9 field goals and miss one from 72 yards, just short by 1 yard!!

BTW 48 Muskogee 41

The Hornet’s football numbers are down but the talent is still there!  With studs Boone and Tease and some 9th and 10th-grade talent, the Hornets are still 6All dangerous but the future is suspect!!  Although BTW talent seems to be headed south some, the Muskogee head coach Travis Hill knows how to build a strong team!!  is- East Central!

Broken Arrow 48 Enid 8

The Tigers are hungry for some wins after a murderous early schedule, and the Plainsmen are just what Coach Josh Blankenship ordered!!

Cascia Hall 38 Bristow 14

Cascia Hall game admittance was free if you dressed as a Halloween ghoul or were Pumpkin Man!!

Choctaw 41 Lawton 34

Choctaw is my sleeper pick to win 6All, beating Lawton was huge to secure home field for the playoffs!

Cushing 54 at Cleveland 14

The area roped off for college football scouts had to be tripled in size due to the visitors from Cushing’s talent!!

The Cleveland Tiger's parents were excited when they scored the first touchdown but the Cushing Tigers were even more excited when they scored the next 7 touchdowns!!

The Cushing Tiger is much meaner than the Cleveland Tiger below!!

Will Rogers 42 at Hale 13

These scores were reversed 50 years ago!!  Go Rangers 2034!!

Jenks 56 Southmore 0

The Trojans decided to let their defense play offense in the second half, no more points were scored for either side!!

B in T NFL Picks!

Cowboys 31 Lions 17

The Cowboys continue to beat the teams you would expect ‘em to beat and lose to the ones they are supposed to lose to!!!  Fortunately, the Cowboys have played some weak adversaries!!  The Lions are considering bringing Barry Sanders out of retirement!!!  Think of the ???????

Chiefs 31 at 49ers 21

The Chiefs have decided to sign QB Mahomes to a lifetime contract for 1 billion dollars!!  And to think Broadway Joe Namath signed for $400,000 in 1972!

Texans 27 at Raiders 24

The Texans D played like a man ??‍? possessed by a demon!!  

Bears 15 at Patriots 14

The Bears scored 15 by 3 safeties and 3 field goals!!  For the 3rd straight game the Bears carried their kicker off the field!!

Have a great sports week!

Bryan in Tulsa

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

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Breaking B in T NEWS:  Baker Mayfield has one more year of college eligibility and he may take the portal to the Texas Longhorns!!

BOBBLEHEAD SPORTS:

                     OR

      OLD FART SPORTS

Bocce Ball at The Center,

from a B in T perspective:

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When I first heard of bocce at the Center I thought it was a card game!!  Then I asked if it was a new ? drug??  Every Monday and Friday at 2:45 I saw this parade of disabled folks heading to Gym 1 like some type of zombie cult!!  What is this I see, but a game with red, white and blue soft balls!  So about 6 years ago I started following this cult at the Center called Boccia Ball!!  

I noticed that they measured the closeness of a blue or red ball to the white ball with a geometry-looking device!!  You knew you were jacked when your first boccia match was with someone who had their own leather case and balls!$  I learned quickly that these games are intended to be played in silence, and some folks tend to ignore boccia etiquette!!  I was sternly urged to not emit gasses during any USA Boccia-sanctioned tournaments!  

I noticed huge ramps that were used to allow those who had limited use of their limbs to play boccia!!  

Each of these Paralympic players may use a spotter to assist with the rotation, whether up, down, or to the side!!  

Over the last 7 years, I have watched our boccia players go from wild-eyed children to grizzly ole’ pros!!  No medals to thousands of medals! (slight exaggeration maybe ??)  A good number of our players have retired from the high-pressure game of Paralympic Boccia!!  I miss these folks but have some great memories and pics of the fun we have had!  So every Monday and Friday at 2:45 the Zombie-like procession, including B in T, head to gym 1 to devour their next boccia opponent!! 

Many parts, people, and equipment are put together to make the Center for Individuals with Physical Challenges Boccia Team in Tulsa one of the best in America!!  

B in T College picks:

                          BV

Oklahoma 35 Kansas 31 (new and improved) 

The Jayhawks are starting to become the Big Bird of the state of Kansas but when in Norman, Oklahoma they are wittle birdies!  The Kansas Offensive line is still the Kansas Offensive line, so the BV defense led by DC Ted Roof dominated the Kansas offense until someone spotted Kansas's legendary coach Mark Mangino in the Kansas OC booth WITH HEADPHONES ON!!!  Yes, Mangino was hired by Kansas to be an offensive analyst for 17.00 dollars an hour!!  True shat!!

In the end, Sooner DEs, Reggie Grimes and Ethan Downs spent more time in the Kansas backfield than their fullback  does!!  Wait Kansas has no fullback!  Starting Kansas Heisman QB is a game-time decision!!  So is OU's 5’11” QB Dillon Gabriel!!  Rumor is that Baker Mayfield has one more year of college eligibility but he may take the portal to Texas!!

Oklahoma State 38 at TCU 31

An Orange alert was issued in Fort Worth, TX, not for the OSU football team, but a giant missing Pistol Pete paper head!!  Yes, the OSU mascot head was jacked 20 minutes before kickoff!!  In a show of sportsmanship the TCU horned toad mascot offered his head to the Pistol Pete dude, but that would look sick!!??? When an announcement was made to the Fort Worth crowd, a lady loudly exclaimed she saw Pistol Pete's head in the Lady's Room in section 306!!  The Pistol Pets head was quickly taken to a local carwash, cleaned, and returned by kickoff!!  Pistol Pete’s head was returned to his happy owner and they all lived happily ever after!!  Oklahoma State QB Spencer Sanders put himself back in the Heisman top 5 with his 323-yard and 5 TDs performance against TCU!!

Position vs Position Breakdown

OSU vs TCU

QB: osu

RB: tcu

WR: osu

TE: tcu

OL: tcu

DL: osu

LB: tcu

CB: osu

S: tcu

K: tcu

KOS: osu

KR: osu

P: osu

Cheerleaders: osu

Better looking Alums: tcu

More methheads per capita: Fort Worth 

Arkansas 35 at BYU 27

A tough nonconference game against the Cougars from Provo, Utah!!  BYU looked to be ready to score the winning field goal when former Broken Arrow super stud CB Myles (the Crusher) Slusher picked up a fumble and returned it 68 yds for the winning touchdown!  The Slusher family partied as much as you can party ? in Provo, Utah!!  How far is Vegas from Provo??

Texas 34 Iowa State 31

The Longhorn football team got to meet Texas Governor Greg Abbott!!  Gov. Abbott also invited former President Donny Trump to meet the team as well!!  Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?  Kind of!  Clone Nation will never be the same after this loss!!

Purdue 38 Nebraska 28

The Boilermakers dominated the Cornhusker in the proverbial trenches!!  In the second half the Purdue line looked like the old Husker lines with Remmington and Suh!!  Cornhusker QB Casey Thompson via Texas via Norman, via the son of Charles Thompson ex OU QB has entered the Transfer Portal again!  He has eyes of Texas A&M upon him not Texas this time!!

Notre Dame 42 Stanford 31

Stanford is the medical brownie that the Irish needed!  Notre Dame QB Drew Pyne received a verbal ass-chewing by his coach and responded by going 22-26, 4TDs, and 298 yds passing!!  Let the coach, coach, and the playa, play!!

Illinois 27 Minnesota 25

Huge upset for the Bielema-led Illini as several players attempted to lift coach B on their shoulders unsuccessfully!  An impromptu party ? at the Blind Pig Pub and Grill in downtown Champagne when someone declared that University of Illinois would be closed next week in celebration of the win!!  Unfortunately, the University of Illinois knew nothing of this - school out for a week deal!!  Great party...atmosphere!!

Alabama 34 at Tennessee 24

The Volunteer players were planning on victory celebration bars but forgot to win the game!!   Two Bryce Young TD passes in the final 6:43 of the game to come from 4 down to cover the Vegas spread of 9!!

Utah 42 USC 31

The SoCal bubble was busted again Saturday night in Utah!!  

Caleb Williams had 1 TD, two picks and a fumble lost, or he basically sucked!!

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B in T High School Picks:

Pumpkin Man appears at Hallowzooween!!

The Tulsa Zoo was visited by the Pumpkin Man and was spotted at the Quick Trip Guillotine exhibit!!

Also spotted at the event were Chucky, Jason, Edward Scissorhands, and of course, Freddie Kruger!  Pumpkin Man and his magical brownies were the hit of the whole Zoolloween!!??????

Owasso 48 at Yukon 16

The Rams D was all over the field against the Millers!!  And not the famous Mitch Miller of Christmas songs in the 60s!   The Yukon Mill and Grain Company in 1930 was named after the person who opened and closed the mill for the day's lathe production!

Union 48 at Mustang 27

The Redhawk D defense gets

a sack of Halloween candy treats from Reasors, plus a 25 lb sack of Russett potatoes for every sack the player makes the rest of the year including the playoffs!! The team is heavily starched with potato soup for the remainder of the year but the TFL (thrown for loss) stats were amazing for Mustang!!

Jenks 56 at Southmore 13

The Trojans traveled their JV, the Freshman team, the 8th-grade team, and the Little Trojans 1st and second-grade teams suited up to hang in the sidelines but did not play for safety reasons for Mustang!

Bixby 62 Broken Arrow 27

Bixby’s application to  Conference USA has been unanimously passed by all OSSAA Board Members!!  Broken Arrow football was hoping it would go into effect sooner than later!! 

Grove 46 Nathan Hale 21

Bishop Kelley 31 at Pryor 27

Small upset of the Tigers at Pryor’s Homecoming!!  But the Pryor Moms won the B in T Trophy!!

B in T Mom O Meter -  Pryor Moms .978    BK - Moms  .971

Believe it or not, again this competition was so close!!  The final competition of the day was frog gigging!!  The rules of frog gigging were explained:  

Oklahoma Frog Gigging State Laws

Bullfrogs may be taken with hook and line, gig, spear, bow and arrow or other methods, except firearms, under a res­i­dent or nonresident fishing license.  Bull­frogs taken with a firearm require a hunting license. Bullfrogs may be taken year-round.  No more than 15 bull­frogs per day are taken!!  Bullfrogs may not be sold or shipped out of state.  Wichita Mountains WR is off-limits to bullfrog harvest!!

The lady Pryor moms had reached the 15 frog gigs Oklahoma maximum by noon, while the BK moms only gigged two!!  Sad........

B in T Diner of the Week:  

Thomas Restuarant

South Mill Street

Pryor, OK

With all the stars that are in Oklahoma for all this movie makin’ stuff, no one noticed 

that Bransons Balknobbers 

were in Pryor at Thomas 

Restaurant having cheesecake and Folgers coffee!!  True shat!

Hennessey 34 at Blackwell 23

The Holiday Blackwell Turkey Shoot, lets a lucky local person win 10 pounds of turkey gizzard and neck, will go to the first Kay County resident to shoot, baste and glaze a Turkey ?over 40 pounds!!  

Verdigris 42 Cascia Hall 30

The Verdigris Cardinals kicked the Commandos all over the Verdigris field in Claremore Friday night!!

Cushing 48 McLain 24

The Cushing folks did not know that the McLain Scotts star Josh Jacobs of Alabama Tide fame is currently the star running back for the Las Vegas Raiders!!  Cushing stud WR Camden Crooks is being looked at as a Preferred Walkon at Oklahoma State and has an offer from New Mexico State as a DB in the 2023 Aggies freshman class!!

Tonkawa 20 Morrison 16

Two of the best Oklahoma Class A football teams in high school football history will be facing each other in a death match at Buccaneer Field!!  The Tonkawa The field was covered with small plastic graveyard Tombstones to scare the Morrison Mildcats Halloween goblins and critters away!  

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B in T NFL picks:

Bears 15 at Commanders 13

The Bears are the number 1 team in the NFL in field goal kicks made per game!!  The butt-kicking Bears average 8.1 field goals per game, while the next closest team was 3.3 field goals per game!!  Coach Ditka is not very proud of this feat!!  In fact, he is downright unhappy!!

Chiefs 31 Bills 27

Bills QB Allen and K.C. QB Mahomes have dinner Saturday night at the Cheify Weify BalBque Hookah Bar!!  The QB's are now pinky swear, besties and blood-to-blood brothers FOR LIFE!!

Eagles 34 Cowboys 31

Oil tycoon, Dallas Cowboy owner and facelift authority Jerry Jones was not allowed in his Philadelphia suite because he was carrying a banana cannabis vape!!

Have a great sports week!

Bryan in Tulsa

Bryan in Tulsa

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FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

BOBBLEHEAD SPORTS:

Barbie Doll Hosting Sportscenter?!

My eldest Granddaughter, Ana, stated that she wanted to be a sports mommentator, like the ones on TV!  After a 15-minute tutorial from Papi B in T, she explained that ‘Barbie’ (her fav) was a real live commentator (not mommentator) on ESPN!!

That is AMAZING ???!!

B in T notes:

Top 50 Tailgate experience colleges in America!

Note:

Arkansas #7!!

Oklahoma State #18!!!!!

Tulsa #48!!!!!!!!!!!!

OU not in top 50?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Huh?

Whaaaat?

R u shatting me bro?

My Uncle Jeff used to call these kickers - sidewinders!!  Now all kickers are sidewinders or soccer style, Uncle Jeff!!  RIP

B in T College Picks:

                          BV

Oklahoma 31 Texas 30 

Cotton Bowl, Dallas, Texas

All of America is awaiting the B in T pick of BV (Brent Venables) vs BeVo (Longhorn’s 2-ton bull mascot)!!  A one-point victory with a 39-yard field goal at the 3:55 mark in the 4th quarter!!  Several fans in the Cotton Bowl complained about the stench in the southeast restrooms of the Cotton Bowl!  Eventually, security found two dead possums that were cooked in the nacho cheese dip at the Texas State Fair!!

The Sooner defense is very nasty and can be nasty good and nasty bad!!  To see how nasty bad OU’s defense is we must look at the BV Vein meter!  If the D is bad, coach Venable’s veins on his neck will bulge out 2 inches!!  Against the Longhorns BV’s Vien Meter hit 3.4 inches!!

see the top of the page

Oklahoma State 42 Texas Tech 31

The Cowboy’s D line makes several NFL defensive line coaches jealous!!  The Pressley brothers lit up the Cowboy sideline wall paddles for 4 touchdowns and 342 total offense yards!!

Tulsa 34 at Navy 22

Tulsa QB Davis Brin is slowly becoming the apple in the eye of many NFL scouts!!!  With his accuracy going from the worst in the nation to the number 3 rated passer in the USA!!  The Navy wishbone, aka the poor man's wishbone, aka the zone blocking with small lineman wishbone, can be tricky but with TU’s D lineman maturity the Hurricane took the game over in the second half!!

Position vs Position

TU vs Navy

QB: Even with Brin out

RB: Navy

WR: TU

TE: Navy

OL: TU

DL: Navy

LB: TU

CB: TU

S: TU

K: TU

KOS: TU

KR: TU

P: TU

Cheerleaders: TU- our male cheer is outstanding!

Better looking Alums: Navy dudes are in shape!

Better hair cuts: minimal data available - Navy -  chicks dig service haircuts 

Arkansas 31 at Mississippi State 21

The Razorbacks play better on the road than at home!!  Imagine in Fayetville where you have 70,000 crazed hog snouts snorting at you!!!!  

It can be nerve-racking even if you are the home team!!

Close game until Bulldog coach Mike Leach came out with tin foil on his head at halftime saying that aliens have landed in Starksville!

While coach Leach was in the concussion protocol tent the Bulldogs lost control of the game and ultimately coach lost his tin foil hat!!

Kansas State 34 at Iowa State 34 

A sextuple overtime tie

Super cornshucker vs mild cat football game with my besties Kevin and Coco favorite team's!!  Each team recorded a world record 17 safeties!  Total offensive yardage for both frozen tundra teams was 7!!

FARMAGEDON

Illinois 17 Iowa -2

Illinois defense is so effin tough that after their win over Wisconsin they decided not to bathe the remainder of the season!!  This showed, solidarity in brotherhood and smelliness!!  According to some of my sources at Fox News, an Iowa offensive line coach was awarded a negative 2 points for farting in a hot ESPN mic!!!!

Notre Dame 42 BYU 28

The Irish ? have discovered what the Thundering Herd of Marshal is, just like they discovered what a Golden Hurricane was in 2010!!  

A victory over BYU will go a long way to get the neuropathic pain out of the loss to Marshal a few weeks ago!  A Thundering Hurd is a large group of buffalo that are scared of thunder which is now a well-known fact in the athletic department of Notre Dame!!  Sorry, Irish fans but I pick ND to have a strong final half but with my pick record, a lot of suckage for ND is possible!

Nebraska 20 at Rutgers 17

These teams are pretty even in the world of below-average Power 5 conference teams!!

According to my sources, Nebraska brass is looking hard at SC’s Golden child Lincoln Riley and is putting a package together that includes half the land in Nebraska!!

Alabama 38 Texas A&M 24

Alabama’s Saban and A&M’s Jimbo are both driven to excellence in their fields of coaching!!  In this Tallahassee game, the Tide manhandled the Aggies scoring 6 times in 8 possessions!!  Alabama stud linebacker Will Anderson Jr. will be one of the four Heisman finalists and oh btw he had two fumble recoveries and one for a touchdown against A&M!!

Ohio State 31 at Michigan State 17

The Buckeyes would be in third place in the NFC Central Division!!  Looking good for the final four........again!!  Per Lee Corso and Kurt Herbstreit of the Gameday Crew, the Buckeyes will win the National Championship in 2022!!

Clemson 27 at Boston College 17

Clemson’s D is starting to get some of the old Venable’s mojo back!  The BC O-line averages 328lbs and the 2nd stringers line averages 338lbs!  Neither line could stop the Clemson D!!  The size of your offensive line does not bring you championships but it sure doesn't hurt!!

USC 42 Washington State 21

USC QB Caleb Williams had his pads off and arm iced in the second half for throwing 300 passes, including hardcore warm-ups!!  No Caleb in the second half means problems for the Trojans!!

B in T High School picks:

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Pumpkin Man Delights Ambassador Nursing Home!

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Several nursing home residents were filled with joy and laughter as they were visited by Pumpkin Man and his Happy Halloween Brownies!!  From Ambassador Manor Nursing Home to the Metro Christian vs                  football game, Pumpkin Man shared his magical brownies until campus security arrived on their scooters!

Bishop Kelley 27 Edison 12

The Comets played their Comet tails off this week!  Kelley, with a newly acquired player via the men's soccer team!!  The young man, who is now called Boomer, just signed a NIL (Naming, Image, and Likeness) Deal with Bob’s Soccer Shack for unlimited Nike ✔️ Soccer Ball usage!

Bixby 66 at Enid 12

With Bixby up 60 to zip at halftime, the Bixby coaches offered to have the Bixby mom's powder puff football team play in the second half!!  That was not well accepted by the Enid folks who allowed a second-half running clock!!

Alva Gold Bugs 22 Blackwell, 20

Losing to a team called the Gold Bugs is equivalent to shooting Deer with a pop gun, and should NEVER be done!!  A big bunny with his paw-finger in the gun should never be done either!!  The bottom line is you should never lose to a bug if you are from a wheat farming town!!  Finally and most of all the Blackwell Alum next to me for 34 years would sleep better with a Maroon win!!

BTW 48 Tahlequah 23

On certain nights when the moon has a witchy vibe, Tahlequa might upset the Hornets at SE Williams for Homecoming!!  But not tonight!

Broken Arrow 54 Westmore 16

The Tiger's second team started the game because they practiced better!!  The freshmen practiced better than the JV, and the freshmen suited up while the JV sat on the bench without pads!  BA still kicked butt!!

Cascia Hall 45 Jay 6

The game was interrupted when the campus fire alarm went off due to the always-lit weight room lights going OUT!!

A replacement LED light was brought to the weight room and installed by 4 doctors and Cascia Campus Security!

Choctaw 38 Deer Creek 24

Choctaw’s offensive line took over the game in the second half by plowing the ball ? off tackle for 5 yards a pop!!  With the clock moving the Yellowjacket Center wanted to carry the ball!!  They allowed the 6’2” 270-pounder to run and he fumbles the fricking ball!!  Choctaw recovered and ran the clock out!!

Cushing 38 Wagoner 26

The duo of Camden Crooks receiving from recent New Mexico State QB commit Blaze Berlowitz accounted for 80% of the Cushing offense against an unknown and hungry Wagoner Bulldog team!!

Jenks 34 Norman North 28

The Jenks Moms played the Norman Moms in a touch football game that turned into a mud wrestling match in the rain!  The Jenks Moms won by two touchdowns besting their son's margin of victory over Norman!

Mom O Meter - Norman North Moms  .987    Jenks Moms .978

The Jenks moms led until the final event of Squatch Calling (mating calls to arouse the male Big Foot)!  Norman North Squatcher Mom - Olivia Cumbersome did a squatch call that caused numerous Squatch sightings in the Norman and OKC areas and gave the Norman North Moms the B in T Mom on O Meter Trophy!!

Diner of the Week - Downtown Jenks-  Jenks Restuarant 215 East Main St, Jenks, OK

Family atmosphere, the best breakfast omlettes this side of Mounds!!  

Owasso 52 Edmond North 16

The Owasso coaching staff deserves credit for rallying the forces of Ram football together after a tough start to the season!!  Stay strong young men of Owasso football!!

Tonkawa 36 at Oklahoma Union at South Coffeeville, Oklahoma 20

The Tonkawa freshmen linebackers are already heavily recruited by many of the power 5 schools in the midwest!!  Urban legends have Buccaneer freshmen linebackers eating raw squid before games!!  The young men will soon have NIL deals to harvest wheat for Kay County Farmers Union for 2022, 2023 and 2024!  

Union 52 at Norman 27

TU is after another player or two from Union after landing commit Devin Robinson, strangely the entire defensive unit is being scouted by the entire Tulsa defensive football staff!!  The TU dudes were easy to pick out in the Norman High crowd with their matching Adidas gear!!

B in T Pro picks:

Rams 24 Cowboys 21

Over the hills comes Dak,

Almost ready to come back,

But if Dak comes back,

Who in the front office does

       enough crack,

To recommend Dallas keep

        the Cooper Rush attack!

Dats a fact Jack!!

Bears 21 at Vikings 17

The Bear's defense is so stingy they did not share their porridge with Goldilocks when reading the famous nighty night ? story to their kids!!

Texans 24 at Jaguars 20

A huge road win for the Texans!

Chiefs 38 Raiders 28

Watching Mahomes do fancy passes is like watching noodling!!  U never, ever know where the catfish are coming from or where the football is coming from!!

Have a great sports week!!

Bryan in Tulsa