B in T Notes:

B in T bobbleheads:

My son and daughter-in-law are extremely stoked about having their second child and will soon find out the sex of the young Golden Hurricane football player!!  They currently have a beautiful 18-month old daughter that can palm a grapefruit!!  If a boy, the Lohmeyer men want to name the young stud Zaven Richard Lohmeyer!!  Of course if a girl, Zavanna Mariah Lohmeyer would be the men’s selection!!  The name suggestions have not made the top 10 for the very boisterous and always correct Lohmeyer women!!  Stay tuned for more baby news!!

Just found out the wittle baby is a GIRL!

See below:

****Breaking B in T Bobblehead News**** 

The Mimi and Papi grandkids are have just discovered that the 6th grandchild will be another girl!!  Five grandgirls and one grandson!!  OMG, the Lohmeyer men are SURROUNDED!!  Help ?!!

B in T Top 5 Hottest and Classiest College Football Coaches Wives:

1. Sarah Harbaugh - Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh’s main squeeze.  She quieted the entire male student section by simply bending over to pick up a hotdog ? wrapper!!  True story!  Google it!  I dare ya!  
2. Jen Bielema - wife of new Illinois coach Bret Bielema!  B in T and Coach Bielema are proof that fat and phat dudes can get stunning chicks!!  Google ‘phat’ if confused!!  I did!
3. Layla Kiffin - wife of Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin.  Lane’s hairline is disappearing as fast as Layla’s so-called midnight rendezvous to work!!
4. Cathleen Swinney - wife of Clemson coach Dabo Swinney.  Other Clemson’s coaches' wives are so intimidated by her that they will not sit within 20 feet of her at Clemson games!!
5. Ashley Montgomery - wife of Tulsa coach Phillip!  New entry!!  Probably should be number one with all of the monies she has raised for Alzheimer's!!  She has made Tulsa University look blessed to have the Montgomery team ? in Tulsa!!  Go Hurricane!!

Oklahoma and Texas Moving to the SEC?!

Suddenly an 8-4 record looks good the college football icons, OU, and Texas become members of the Southeastern Conference!!  The idea of a national CFA playoff with 3 or 4 SEC teams in an 8 team system sounds very appealing!!  In my illustrious opinion, the American Athletic becomes a stronger conference than the Big 12 with Oklahoma and Texas hauling ass to the SEC!!  Cincinnati and Iowa cancel each other out and the rest goes to the AAC by a wide margin!!  Should the remaining Big 12 little ducklings create a new super conference with the AAC??  Hell yes!!!  FOX Sports Network will put together a super package for this combination of teams!!  The Texas A&M Aggies are very twerk off about the Longhorns entering the SEC zone of college football!!  A&M left the Big 12 or Big 8, whatever it was, years ago to get out of the Texas Longhorn shadow and become a power in the SEC!!  Now the big,  mean, older bother is moving back into the conference house and the A&M is pissed!!  The legal Gods of the A&M trustees have found 124 infractions with lawsuits to throw a Tool time wrench into the Texas and Oklahoma move!!

NBA PLAYOFFS:

The almost 3-month long playoffs and have finally come to an end!  Gina is Arachniaphobia from Greece led the Milwaukee Bucks to their first NBA Championship in 50 years!!  The Phoenix Suns and the rejuvenated Chris Paul puttered out, after taking a 2-0 playoff lead!!  The OKC Thunder have reportedly offered all 73 of their draft choices to the Bucks for Giannis!!!. The offer was rejected by the Bucks front office!!

Coming soon to Faked Out Sports / B in T:

Pumpkin ? Man!

College Football picks from THE PICKER with a record of 2,675 correct picks and 1 incorrect pick!!

B in T top high school towns and diners!!

B in T College Bowl picks!

The cost to you for this stuff is some ‘Jack’ and some ‘Shat’ or zilch!!  

B in T top high school mom competition!

B in T Quote of the Week:

Never drink tequila off of a stripper belly button during the pandemic!!  Just sayin’!!

Have a great sports week!!

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I AM BAAAAAAACK!!

B in T has been out for a few weeks!!   Yes, I know that no one noticed I was not writing, but to all 7 fans that noticed have a case of Old Milwaukee beer headed your way in the mail!! Seriously yes!  I was actually on a month-long trip to the Kiamichi Mountains to look for Sasquatch, Bigfoot, and the Flo on Progressive commercials!!

The following has happened since my hibernation in the mountains:

Tulsa’s Zaven Collins was drafted 16th in round 1 by my new favorite besties team, The Arizona Cardinals!!  Zaven looked great in rookie camp and won the rookie talent show by using Kyler Murray as a puppet on his knee!!

Aaron Rodgers wants out of Green Bay!  CFL?  Denver Broncos?  Jeopardy?  Search for Bigfoot with B in T?  No one knows what Aaron wants except Aaron and maybe his newest Hollywood squeeze!!  

Oklahoma has a new men's basketball coach Peter Mosier and his first recruit is a 6’10” mountain man/Unabomber looking dude!!  He is scary good and scary-looking!!  

The OKC Thunder sucks and none of the player names are familiar!  What is this shat we are watching??  I saw better basketball at the 7-year-old Bixby Y league.  At least the young lads know how to run a play and set a mother chicken PICK!!  Awful!!  Watching the Thunder can give serious constipation to us old farts!!

While off, I have been to a few Grandkids soccer games, and my 4 and 6-year-olds are vastly improved!!  I must say that the hot soccer moms keep getting younger and curvier and I keep getting older and wrinklier!!!

ESPN has already ranked Sooner football number 1 for 2021-22!!  A sure-fire sign of sucking is being predicted number 1 by Sports Illustrated or ESPN!!  JINX!!

Masks are off and Coronavirus has tucked its tail the heck out of here!!  My Center for Individuals Physically Limited has reopened with certain limitations!!  No drinking, smoking, farting, or snorting while playing Bocce Ball!!  

B in T’s Way Way Too Early College Football Top 25:

1. Oklahoma, who else-homer-esk
2. Alabama, applied to the NFL
3. Clemson, no mo hippie QB
4. Ohio State, always good
5. Iowa State, surprise top 5
6. Georgia, overrated always
7. Notre Dame, lost to TU, nuff said
8. Texas A&M, B in T roadtrip hopefully
9. Cincinnati, AAC strong
10. Indiana, who?
11. Oregon, ripped off OU!
12. Iowa, big boy school!
13. Florida,lots a talent,overrated coach
14. Wisconsin, handoff 3 hole is the go-to play - their offense makes Coach Lincoln Riley Einstein!
15. LSU, my sources say that Coach Oregon is dating meth queen Lori Arnold
16. Oklahoma State, Gundy’s mullet has been permed
17. Tulsa, no Zaven but the cupboard ain't empty
18. Coastal Carolina, good football team but great swim team
19. Arkansas, B in T was born in Ark., and pork blood in him!
20. Jenks, Offensive Linemen have more pancakes than Village Inn!
21. Bixby Blue 6th grade moms, not sure how this got in here
22. Texas, new Coach, still suck
23. Ole Miss, gangstas, again nuff said
24. Miami, just discovered that three of their players actually graduated!
25. Penn State, no comment

The St.Louis Cardinals are attempting to give me a 10th stroke by actually leading the National League Central for longer than 2 days!!  B in T has been told by his sober sources that Matt Carpenter will be traded to a Japanese team for a minor leaguer named Gung Ho!  Go Redbirds!!

B in T heading to watch the Senior PGA with Maddie’s family for a birthday celebration for Gus at Southern Hills!!  Andre, my son-in-law, is a caddy for Australian Open Champ Peter Fowler!  This will be fun and I promised to not yell or break wind during someone's backswing!!

Have a great sports week!

B in T

Faked Out Sports