Bryan in Tulsa
My wittlest granddaughter Rosie is Jordan’s second!! Rosie has adopted some of Jordan’s athletic skills and determination!! Rosie will have the determination and meanness of her mom when the smallest of our grandkids has a growth spurt- WATCH OUT!! She will start the swimming for toddlers classes soon and B in T is projecting his wittle Rosie to be a world-class swimming young lady!! I foresee my little Rosie having more guts than any youngster with a disability and I have seen quite a few!! Keep keeping on, wittle Rosie, love ? Papi!!
B in T Notes:
Pumpkin ? Man is spotted at Earth, Wind, and Fire concert at River Spirit in south Tulsa! The security staff at River Spirit called in Tulsa SWAT and Tulsa County Sheriffs department when word was out that the Pumpkin ? Man was seen with a giant bag of edibles at the entrance of The Cove before the EWF concert!! Approximately 6 or 7 edibles were discovered by Tulsa SWAT which meant that approximately 500 pieces of edibles were devoured by the extraordinarily happy crowd!! Pumpkin Man escaped out the pool exit and swam across the river!!
B in T Top 10 All-time Horror flicks:
Director: Wes Craven Peed my pants twice!
. Director: William Friedkin - Never liked pea soup again!
First Alien to pop out a stomach!
Director: Alfred Hitchcock-- I have friends at the Center similar!
7. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 1974
Director: Tobe Hooper - Actually left the movie theatre to puke!
8. Dawn of the Dead, 1978
Director: George A. Romero - watched the movie high!
Director: Jonathan Demme Sir Anthony was a scary mofo!!
10. An American Werewolf in London, 1981 Director: John Landis Transformation to a Vampire was best ever!
B in T Top 6 2021 Horror Football Teams:
College Correct Picks:
Tulsa 35 Houston 28
The Hurricane faithful are about as faithful as 5,000 football fans on a Friday night can be!! Each game I faithfully wear my spandex waist, yellow TU pants, and shirt!! Each week I faithfully attend tailgate parties with brownies and deviled eggs!! Each week I faithfully feel my butt fall asleep in the stands!! Each week I sing the TU fight song in front of the team, 7 fans, 3 dogs, and Captain Cane!!! And each night after the game, win or lose, I cannot wait until they hit that green or occasionally blue field again!! I hope all 13 of my readers feel the same way about their team!! TU wins second in a row!!
QB Brin Davis may be the real deal, Lucille!!
Oklahoma State 34 Baylor 31
Baylor is very overrated and OSU may be as well!! But QB Sanders is better this year than last!! Cowboy fans are asking Coach Gundy, and please do not put the tall, slow, white kid in!! The paddle the wall Cowboy folks were given a fifteen-yard unsportsmanlike penalty for spanking the back judge on the buttocks on a play that went way out of bounds!!
Georgia 35 Arkansas 27
ESPN Gameday is in Athens and several Georgia cheerleaders were busy taking selfies in Kirk Herbstreit’s lap!! This is a no-no according to section 345, code 976c in the NCAA code of conduct manual! The Georgia defensive line is comparable to some NFL teams but Arkansas has some beef on the O-line to battle!! Just not quite enough!! New live Razorback mascot Tyson, the boss hog, weighs 800 pounds and can snort once and scare Georgia bulldog live mascot Uga out of the stadium!!
Kansas State 34 Oklahoma 31
Kansas State wins third Sooner upset in a row!! Sooner fans everywhere are wanting all of QB Spencer Rattler’s NIL money given to charity or reimbursed!! The Wildcats Sophomore QB Will Howard looked like Aaron Rodgers picking apart the Dallas Cowboys against the Sooners!! The OU offense is a little faulty this year but now the defense is looking weak!!
Iowa State 103 Kansas 2
I will never pick the Jayhawks again!! Bad pick!!
Iowa 38 at Maryland 28
Hawkeyes swoop down and gobble up the Terrapins!!
Wisconsin 38 Michigan 31
Coach khaki is getting too comfortable so it is time for him to start choking!!
Texas 41 at TCU 34
Texas is back, just before the 70 point loss to Oklahoma!!
Cincinnati 36 at Notre Dame 28
Cincinnati vaults to top 4 nationally after big win over the Irish ?!!
Clemson 34 Boston College 24
The last time Clemson was 2-2 and BC was 4-0, Dougie Flutie’s grandfather was playing football with a real pig!! BC comes back to reality and Clemson heals some of it’s wounds!!
High School Correct Picks:
Bixby 62 Putman City West 13
Bixby is rated 19th in the national Max Preps poll and snuck in at 25th in the UPI USA Today top 25!!
BTW 49 Bartlesville 19
Bixby should keep an eye on the powerful and athletic BTW team!! The Hornets Micah Tease and Gentry Williams (both may be headed to Soonerville) have some serious moves!!
Holland Hall 48 Central 20
The Dutch will run the table this year the move up to 5A and sweep that classification too!!
Wagoner 42 at Bristow 12
Wagoner has no fear of any school this side of the Rio Grande!!
Cushing 52 at OC Classen 13
The Tigers are excited about this road trip until both the Cushing busses were stolen the day before the road trip to Classen!! Cushing philanthropist Michael Morrill stepped up and purchased a Custom Hemphill Touring bus once used by Aerosmith!! Several Cushing football players wept tears of joy as they walked on the bus for the first time!! Each cushion velvet and leather seat has its 32-inch big screen TV and mini-fridge and wet bar!!
Blackwell 24 at Perry 20
Blackwell Maroons against the Perry Maroons in, you guessed it, the battle of the Maroons!! This is not to be confused with the battle of the morons which involves the Kardashians!! A Perry player goes to the wrong end zone for a win for the Blackwell Maroons!!!!
Mom O Meter Blackwell moms .978. Perry moms.969 The Blackwell moms aka Blackwell Babes defeated the Perry moms aka Perry Princes in a controversial chicken neck wringing contest!! The Perry Princes used the common squeeze and twirl move introduced by grandmas in the 1950s!! The Blackwell Babes use a controversial chicken neck-breaking device and won the contest easily!! Perry schools have protested the so-called fun event!!
B in T Diner of the Week
Sassy’s Good Eats On The Square in Perry!! Sassy’s is best known for her smoked bacon macaroni and cheese souffle!! Oklahoma State’s coach Gundy has his own OSU Cowboy booth at Sassy’s and attends the diner 2 or 3 times a month!!
Jenks 41 at Broken Arrow 34
The Trojans took care of the Tigers in what has turned out to be a tough year for BA head coach Josh Blankenship!! Son went over to father Bill’s house in Owasso Saturday and borrowed some football knowledge from Papa Blankenship!!
Owasso 46 Norman North 34
The Northern Timberwolves are the toughest westside team but legendary Coach B of Owasso runs the wishbone in the first half and then runs the spread no-huddle in the second half!! True shat!! I promise!! The Norman North coaches were confused again by the offensive master Coach B.!!!!
Bishop Kelley 34 at Durant 24
Not feeling real good about this pick!!
Cascia Hall 31 at Spiro 14
Cascia’s 1.2 million dollar team tour bus was shut down for the Spiro trip!! Some insiders to the Commando program feel certain that new vibrating massage chairs have replaced the leather seats in the luxurious bus!!
Tonkawa 45 Crescent 6
The Tonkawa Buccaneers defeated the Crescent Wrenches in a monsoon of rain!! This week’s Tonkawa Quilt and Cannabis Festival had record attendance despite the rain!!
Pro Correct Picks:
Cowboys 21 Panthers 17
Owner Jerry Jones fires his son as Prez of the Cowboys!! Jerry then realized he was having a very bad dream and woke up to the real world including three Cowboy wins in a row, Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders pole dancing in his 12,000 square foot man cave, and a brand new record-setting 12th facelift!!
Browns 27 at Vikings 21
Cleveland QB Mayfield completed 28 of 30 passes for 332 yards and 2 touchdowns!! Tragically one of his passes fell incomplete when Baker hit a bird with one if his exit velocity 101.67 miles per hour throws!! The bird exploded in pieces!!
Chiefs 35 at Eagles 27
Comparing the Cheifs QB Mahomes arm strength to Eagles QB Hurts arm strength is like comparing a roadrunner on fire chased by Wiley Coyote to a constipated tortoise!!
Bears 28 Lions 14
The Lions are playing for the Turkey Day game against the Vikings when they will tank the remainder of their games to get that first-round draft choice, Spencer Rattler!! Upon drafting Rattler the Lions began tanking games for 2022!!
Cardinals 38 at LA Rams 34
Kyler Murray does have smallish 30-inch arms but can throw a football 80 yards on the fly while sitting on the ground!! YPAL - Yards Per Arm Length rates Murray number 1 in the NFL!!
Have a great sports week!!
Bryan in Tulsa
September 30, 2021 at 04:57AM
Sooner Fans Boo Ratler in Manhattan!
Read the full report at Faked Out Sports.