Tulsa Football Fan Fest April 1, do not confuse with April Fool's day!!  No spring game, just a scrimmage and an introduction to the new Coach Kevin Wilson Era!!  The events will include the following:

Meet and greet the new coaches and players, kids games, face painting, nude blue and gold Mazzola wrestling(adults only), The 70s Kiss band's last performance with the Branson Ballknobbers as the warm-up band, and free calendars of shirtless TU assistant coaches for each month of the year!!  The first 1000 folks get the TU hunks calendars first!!  Get there early ladies!!

Tulsa football will do what it can to get the fans out for football!!

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Updates from our Boccia correspondent, Bill Bocciarhia, next week!!

B in T Rants:

Tulsa University basketball has endured a very shatty 2022-2023 season but not nearly as shatty as the Louisville Cardinals!

TU record 5-25 vs LU 4-28!  B in T and a friend went to the Tulsa senior night and were shocked to learn that this was not senior citizens get in free night!!  Ha!  Tulsa has one senior on the basketball team!  Is the fact that these players will be back a good or bad thing?  Buuuuuuut the Louisville Cardinal senior night was something for the ages with respect to basketball halftime shows!!  Of course, you can't go wrong with a frisbee and a dog!!  Unless the dog takes a massive shat on the Denny Crum court!!  And in mid-frisbee flight, omg!!  True story!  No shat!  Google it!  That's weird!

*Notice he leaves the poor frisbee by itself with the poop!

Original King Kong movie, 90 years ago, was a great flick from what I can remember watching!  Hehehe

Thanks, Mr. Trammel!

I believe I watched this at the Bowman Twin Theatre on 31st and Sheridan with a coupon for 25 cents from the Tulsa Tribune!!

I just discovered that my 1-year-old granddaughter has the same size diapers as I do! 

We are a very efficient family!

Heated Turf could be a possible link to brain cancer.

The Philadelphia Inquirer has just concluded a detailed investigation regarding 6 players who died of brain cancer on the Phillies baseball team in the early 2000s to current!  No players from the cold weather season Philadelphia Eagle football team has been affected by brain cancer.  Just the warm weather heat of summer baseball.  The Inquirer reported that the rate of brain cancer among former Phillies who played at Veterans Stadium from 1971-2003 “is about three times the average rate among adult men.”  The players are

The turf at Busch Stadium in St.Louis had reached the 142 degrees on one day in 1970 when a young B in T was on the field with his polaroid camera!!The Associated Press reported that a thermometer placed in Busch Stadium's artificial surface revealed a ground-level temperature of 152 degrees. 

This warning sign at a local little league should have been used on a larger scale now and then.

Early Father's Day gift!

Pooper picker upper cart!

Bobbleheads:

If your little one has a poopy diaper and won't stay still, then get a TU fluorescent light for only $19.99 and sleep all night!!  All donations will go to the new indoor football facility at Tulsa University!  Come on all you young TU yuppsters with 1 or more rugrats, bite the bullet and send $19.99 to Tulsa Indoor Football Facility

Care of: Mikie Dodson TU ‘80!

NCAA Basketball Tourney:

FINAL FOUR!????

WHO!??

Almost perfect B in T Bracket:

FAU 71 San Diego State 68

Florida Atlantic a future opponent of TU, has one of the best Oceanographic school in the world!!  To play basketball at FAU u must be able to hold your breath underwater for 17 minutes at a depth of 3 football fields!!  True shat!!  The FAU Owls will deep-dive against the Miami Hurricanes for the National Championship of college basketball ?!!  My bracket was busted when I picked up my laddie ✏️ pencil to fill out my stinkin' first, pick!!  I hate brackets!!

Miami Hurricanes 81 UConn 72 

The Miami Hurricane coach is so cool!!  He coached in the final four 25 years ago when the baggy shorts look was hot!!  Coach Jim Laragana who resembled a poor man's, Jim Boeheim, outcoached UConn's coach Dan Hurley!!

B in T MLB:

OPENING DAY!

Cardinals

Guillermo Zuniga was clocked at 102 mph on 3 pitches thrown in a one-inning stint against the USA!  After watching him with the 2022 Tulsa Drillers, Zuniga should be a good closer for the Springfield AA team or the Memphis AAA team!  Control could be a concern!

Cubs

A young Chicago Cub Board member, Jim Wrigley the 5th, objected to a vote for a sale of the team to the My Pillow dude!  The board then reminded him, the Wrigley family has no voting rights!  The motion to sell to Pillow God passed and looks like Free Pillow Day at Wrigley in 2024!  And the Cubs lost their 12th straight opening day!!

Rangers

In the last two year's the payroll under new ownership has gone from big- to obscene contracts to players — Jacob deform, Marcus Semien, Corey Seager, Jon Gray, Nathan Eovaldi, Andrew Heaney — and convinced World Series-winning manager Bruce Bochy to come out of retirement!

Dodgers

Regarding the starting rotation, Julio Cruz is da main man!!  The rest of the rotation stays Dustin May, who starts Saturday’s getaway day came against the Royals at Camelback Ranch, will start the second game of the regular season, followed by Clayton Kershaw, Noah Syndergaard, and the fifth starter who according to my sources has just come out of retirement, yes Dodger great Fernando Valenzuela!!  

Royals

Zach Greinke for the second straight year is the opening-day starter!  Then an average older rotation makes young arms like Bubic and Lynch very important!

Brewers

The Brewers Christian Yelch is starting his tenth season of roaming the Brewer’s Beer Garden in centerfield!!

Astros

To replace Altuve for 2023 the Stros have brought Craig Biggio out of retirement!!  

Have a great sports week!

Arkansas Coach Musseless is no shirting the crowd to the final four??

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Center Scoop:

The Center Art class is the bomb, dope and really neat dude!  Thanks to Lisa, the Art director that we hired from France, I now spend my time attempting to not suck in finger painting and clay!!  I am very quiet in this class to keep my artistic balance in sequence with my unfound talent or, lack there of!!

B in T Rants:

Ole Miss Rebels fired head coach Kermit Davis, unrelated to Kermit the Frog, after the team tailspin, and replaced him with a Tulsa native!!  Win Case, from Nathan Hale, OCU coach in the 80s, and a Bill Self-Paul Hansen protege will be the interim coach and should be the HC in my very humble opinion!

Bobbleheads

Weekend Papi CANDY tour:

Haircut - ? chocolate kisses

Bank drive-in - 3 Suckers

Papa's toes done AKA Pedicure - gum drops 

Center front desk - candy easter eggs from Donna 

*Papa’s Monday weigh-in - bathroom scales must be wrong!

B in T Projected opening day lineups:

Cardinals:

Edman 6

O’Neill 8

Goldschmidt 3

Arenado 5

Contreras 2

Walker 9

Nootbaar 7

Gorman DH

Donovan 4

Dodgers:

$$$$

$$$$

$$$$

$$$$

$$$$

$$$$

$$$$

$$$$

$$$$

Cubs:

????

????

????

????

????

????

????

????

????

I suggest skipping this next part and going straight to the funny sports!

B in T Mission Statement

After my stroke 10 years ago I started the sports writing stuff!  I always loved the Thursday football picker in the Tulsa World, so I kinda extended that into my writing!  I have had help from the best, Barry Lewis, Bill Haistens, Guerin Emig and Jimmy Trammel to become less sucky!  My one-day shot in the Pigskin Picker Thursday's football section has not happened yet but B in T has been quoted in the sports section a few times!!  Close enough!!  I like to write youthful vibes and maturing, old fartish vibes as well!!  I even have a few 90ish-year-old readers, friends, and relatives who are dear to B in T, and although we just lost great aunt Stella to the pearly gates; Boston College Bill, Aunt Pat, Uncle Thurston, and Uncle Jerry they are all still feisty as ever!!  I am blessed to have youthful readers below 40 years old who find this style of writing somewhat dope!!  Making this wide spectrum of folks take time out of their day to read and laugh is the B in T Mission Statement!

Just Announced: Classic 2024 will be at Grand Lake!  This year’s fish-a-thon is at Tennessee River in Knoxville!!  The fish weigh-in is expected to reach 40 tons of bass!!  The 2024 Grand Lake Classic, according to my fishing expert, Doug in Indiana, is expecting a 50-ton total from Grand!!

Silicone Lip Kissing over the Phone!

My first and only reaction to this is GROSS!

A new device out of China allows couples to share a kiss with "real" physical intimacy from anywhere in the world!

The device, which attaches to your phone, is equipped with a silicone mold of a person's lips that has sensors and actuators to mimic an actual kiss from your loved one!!  

Testosterone Levels for Dads:

(Research donated by the Center staff)

Normal - 350 to 500

Very High - 1,000ish

Example 1:

Dad taking their daughter to her first ballet recital and requested to wear a pink shirt to match the Tutu:   Testosterone Rating - negative 12

Example 2:

Dad taking 5-star stud son to Oklahoma recruiting day, meeting with 5 OU coaches, athletic director Castiglione, OU Pom Pon cheerleader, and a final meeting with Barry Switzer, and Bob Stoops!

Testosterone Rating - 2,500

B in T Sweet Sixteen Picks

Kansas State 76 Michigan State 72

This is as close to a team as B in T has left in the final 16 of this year’s ravaged bracket!!   One of my best besties once walked on at Mildcat U football in 1979!!  This young man survived 3 days in Manhattan, Kansas heat upon retiring from his football career!!  Close enough for homering for KState!

Arkansas 81 Uconn 70

The shirtless wonder, from Arkansas, coach Eric Musseless has had numerous sponsors request NOT to be seen in any pictures with said coach after further NCAA wins this season!!  After a hog win over the Huskies of UConn all hog staff will be authorized to take coach Musseless out with a tazor zap upon any indication of stripping!!

Is that Oliver Miller next to coach Musseless?

Texas 71 Xavier 66

Wake up all my Longhorn fans, we are one win from the final four!!  In BASKETBALL!!  It has been centuries since Texas has been relevant in basketball and decades since relevant in FOOTBALL!!  So live it up for one more week!!

B in T MLB

Cardinals

The Wainwright fastball has maxed out at 85 mph with the USA team but has confused the international batters with his 67 mph off-speed stuff, for now!!  Strongest arm on the St iorsLouis Cardinal team, not 101 mph closer Ryan Helsey, and not 103.5 mph reliever Jordan Hicks!!  Twenty-year-old rookie SS Mavis Winn (who has been mentioned a few hundred times in B in T) throws harder from short than any player ever recorded!!  In the minors last year he threw 101 mph to 1B which is equivalent to 105.8 mph off of a mound!!

I told u!

Cubs

The Cubs starting pitchers led by Stroman and Hendricks must have an ERA of 1.00 to offset their endemic offense and horrid relievers!!  If this ‘never been done before anomaly ‘ occurs the Cubbers might reach .500 in 2023!!

Rangers

With Simeon, Seager, Lowe, and Garcia at 1, 2, 3, and 4, and who knows at 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9, the group of 4 will have to knock in 225 runs.......apiece!

Dodgers

Loss of Belanger heart ❤️ throb has cost the Dodger's marketing department millions of jack!!  The season ticket allotment for young ladies has dropped drastically to 68 from 4,575 young spice girls since Bellager’s departure!!  Total Dodger imaging income dropped 375% after Belanger’s bye-bye!

Royals

Catcher Salvador Perez not only is an All-Star catcher but has a giant outdoor grill cook-off at the end Royal spring game, for the entire farm system!!

Brewers

Astros

Bad news when the lovable Altuve was nailed on his wittle bitty thumb by a 96 mph fastball in last week's exhibition game.  He is expected back by the All-star break!  Good luck little fella!!  By the way, aunt Donna from Houston locked herself in the bedroom with a wine box for 3 days after the news of Altuve’s injury!

Have a great sports week!

Bryan in Tulsa

B in T Note to file:

On a normal Thursday, there are 4,367 Vasectomies scheduled in the United States!  On the First Round NCAA tournament Thursdays, there are 110,432 Vasectomies scheduled!!  In Tulsa, u can get a misdemeanor citation for fake Vasectimy scheduling!!

B in T NCAA first-round picks are guaranteed as far ‘as you can throw them’ my great aunt Jewell would say back in the day!!

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Bobbleheads

SHHH DON’T TELL MOM!

My oldest granddaughter Ana hung out with Mimi and Papi last Friday!!  I Love it cuz she is 6 and no need for Glade spray from poopy diapers!!  We warned her that we would run some errands and she was dope with dat!!!  Soooo.....first stop bank drive-thru and cherry ? lollipop candy given to Ana and Papi, then get Papi's feet done AKA pedicure and peppermint candies from my friends at KV Nails, THEN off to get Papi's haircut with 5 mini Hersheys for Papi and Ana from Clays and finally off to drop Papi to the Center where giant Hershey candy bars were on sale for 50 cents from Donna at the front desk!!  What a sweet day for Ana!!   

Center Scoop:

More Boccia Ball updates next week!!

B in T Rants bout nuttin':

The OKC Thunder are the youngest team in NBA history and are playing fun and inspired basketball!!  But the pastel fire coats have got to go!!  Quit trying to look like Joe Namath!! 

Actually, Josh Giddy looks pretty dope at the young NBA star's game!

Is Texas Tech hiring playboy coach Rick Pitino!???!  

Who cares!

The McClung kid that won the NBA slam dunk contest looks like a young man from the Downtown Tulsa Y that I used to school (body up) once a week 35 years ago!!  Time to end the slam dunk contest once and forever!  How about a tall men's runway fashion show instead!!

White Men Can't Jump??

Presidents who played football:

   Joe Biden, Air Force

Best coaching name in the NFL:

Jim Bob Cooter

New Offensive Coordinator for the Jacksonville Jaguars!

Pictured here with cousin Gomer

Not Pictured:  cousin Kevin Highland

Are KC Chiefs Mahomes side arm no-look passes being replicated by middle-schoolers!?!?  John Unitas is up in high-top shoes football heaven shaking his head as he sees youth sport QBs trickery a la Mahomie!!  My research tells me that the youth QBs would rather learn the no-look-pass rather than the fundamentals of passing in my 1970 Johnny Unitas Learn to Pass book in my man cave!!

Tulsa Football plays the Owls in three straight games in 2023!!  Temple Owls-9/28... FAU Owls - 10/7 -off date- Rice Owls 10-19!!

Former Oklahoma State Linebacker Malcolm Rodriguez from Wagoner High School led the NFL rookies in tackles for losses with 12!!

Mrs. B in T's college alma mater, the Wichita State Shocker, is the number 1 ranked college bowling team in the nation!!  Not a lot of partying in Wichita so bowling is THE sport in town!!  Shocker basketball and baseball no longer matter!!  Oklahoma Christian University is ranked 10th in the latest Net Ranking college bowling poll and both teams are ranked far ahead of Arizona State and Notre Dame in the top 50!!

NCAA Tourney Picks:

First Round March 16, 17

ORU 87 Duke 85

The 7’8” ORU center,  had the first-ever quadruple-double, 29 points, 17 rebounds, 13 blocked shots (you’d think they would learn), and 10 elbow dunks!!  The Dukies were way overconfident and lost a 14-point lead in the last 3 minutes and 45 seconds Max A. went 3-pointer berzerk with 4 unanswered daggers!!

Arkansas 73 Illinois 70

The Razorbacks are good opponents for the Kansas Jayhawks in the second round!!  They must get past the Illini first, and Terrence Shannon Jr.!  If Shannon scores more than his average of 17.1, they win, if not, they lose!!  

Kentucky 71 Providence 54

Georgetown is all over the Providence Air Fryar coach Ed Cooley and offered him a 5-year contract for 20 million bucks immediately after the loss!!  His mind must have been elsewhere a la ex-Sooner Lincoln Riley!!

Iowa State 78 Mississippi Pittsburg winner 72

Love the spunk of this Iowa State team!  They seem to excel in tournament time and should make the sweet sixteen according to my inside Clone sources who can be persuaded with money and alcohol!!  The Clone backcourt will run either team off the court!!  Pittsburg, coach Capell III formerly of OU, deserves to win one over Mississippi State!!  The Bulldogs who I had no clue had a varsity team, lost valiantly coming up short with on a three at the buzzer!!

Kansas 91 Howard 68

Bill Self was back on the bench and celebrated by purchasing new suits for his 16 assistant coaches, 6 trainers, and 4 broom sweepers under the goals!!  All were purchased from Ed Besheras in Tulsa!!

Kansas State 82 Montana State 79

Montana State has three players recruited from the Bozeman, Montana downtown YMCA!!  No shat!  Also good to know that Bozeman, Montana and Manhattan, Kansas have the great arctic weather that they share in common but not the player athleticism!

Texas A$M 68 Penn State 66

The Aggies have more talent in their cheerleading squad than the Nittany Lions have in their basketball team!

Iowa 81 Auburn 72

The Hawkeyes boys are getting prepared for the Dance by scrimmaging the Hawkeye girls!!  The men only average 2 inches taller per player!!  Watch out for Hawkeye women!!  Lots of hippyish women in Iowa!  They are mean!!  

B in T MLB

Cardinals

Oft-injured 2022 Redbird starting pitchers Steve Martz and Jack Flahnery look sharp!!

Cubs

Yesterday Ex-Dodger slugger Belanger hit a 445-foot dinger and then struck swinging 4 times!!  The Cubbies look strong........not!

Bob C.- hahaha

Rangers

The Rangers need one more starter like deGrom or Martin Perez to be a challenger!!

Dodgers

The 2023 AA Tulsa Drillers will be better than the AAA Oklahoma City 89ers!!  The Drillers will be stacked like the beautiful Raquel Welsh - RIP

Love the Drillers but no fondness their Dodger Blue affiliation or of Tommy Lasorda's waddle to the ump show back in da day!!

Royals

The Royals are possibly moving to OKC in 2025 according to my TMZ sports contacts!  Tulsa will then become the AAA team for the OKC Royals!!  Google it!  Hahaha!

Brewers

The Brewers will be like a pesky nat bugging the Cardinals in 2023!

Astros

So far in spring training ball, the Astros are the Cardinal’s biiiiooootches!  Good thing the ‘Stros are in the weak AL!

Have a great sports week!

Wednesday Edition!

From the corporate offices of Bryan in Tulsa, I am sending each subscriber a dozen chocolate donuts!!  No shat!

????????????

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Center Stuff:

USA Boccia Ball Regionals in Kansas City, May 6, 7, and 8!!!  

The entire Tulsa Center for the Physically Limited is wetting their pants after finding out when the tournament date is AND that there will be a variety POPCORN ? FUNDRAISER!!  Many of my 19 readers or followers as they are now called, helped raise money by purchasing bags and bags of popcorn so we can dominate in the USA Boccia trials in Kansas City!!  We THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts ❤️!!!  I have recommended that we take 2 stretch handicap stretch limos with margarita and cappuccino machines with the funds!!  Thank so much to Margie and Wendy for putting popcorn money to good use!!

Hahaha!  Just kidding, or not?!?!  

B in T Rants:

RPOs:  What are they?!?   I took a survey of old farts - 60 plus years of age and over with the top 3 answers:

-Aliens

-Medicine for constipation

-Registered Republican   Oddball- RPO

No not these!

RPOs are known to football nerds as RUN PASS OPTION!

A QB within seconds has the option to fish or cut bait with each mode a road to the end zone!  Todd Monken was recently hired as an OC for the Baltimore Ravens straight from the Georgia Bulldogs!!  His college RPO style will now fit into the Raven's offense and stud QB Lamar Jackson!!  Numerous NFL teams are using the RPO offense ie:  Eagles and QB Hurts, Cardinals and QB Kyler Murray!  The projected top three QBs in the 2023 draft are RPO-style players, Anrhony Richardson, Bryce Young and C J Stroud!!  

More spy balloons were shot down over Canada, England, the USA, and Woolarock, Oklahoma!  No shat folks!!  Reports from White House press state that trigger-happy President Biden has shot down numerous balloons at a balloon festival at Woolarock, Oklahoma!!  So far Biden has shot down 4 weather balloons ?, 2 spy balloons, 2 Paw Patrol balloons, and a Goodyear blimp!!  Tragic, but no injuries, and while numerous countries are on Defcon 2, last issued during the Cuban missile crisis in 1962, and numerous lawsuits are being compiled as we speak!!  Thanks to the Biden administration for their delayed and then panic-ridden response Paw Patrol balloons being shot down in cold-blooded murder!!  Numerous toddlers and parents are facing years of recovery from seeing the Paw Patrol missile incident!!

I am tremendously upset regarding the ‘You Suck D---’ sung, in harmony, by the Oklahoma State Senior Citizen Posse Club!!  The Kansas preppy freshman guard Grady Dick seemed to thrive on the Dick chants!!  Really the only thing I am upset by; is that I did not think of the chant!!

At one time OSU Cowboy basketball team was 9-8 and 1-4 in the conference!!  The current team has an 16-14 record and an 7-9 conference mark with a 48 NET ranking!!  The return of a healthy 7’1” center Cisse’ is a human flyswatter and once blocked a ball out of GIA into a pitcher of Busch Lite at Eskimo Joes!  But a losing streak at the end of conference play have the Pokes looking at the NCAA from the outside!  Look for the Pokes to have a scary time getting in the tourney unless they get hot in the Big 12 Tournament!

What really happened according to my sources:

See below⬇️

The suit sitting behind the young lady just had some jalapeno chili cheese fries and had tremendous gas!  Plus she thought the guy in the green beanie was an actor and does not know who LeBron James is!!

The movie Nope is dope bro!!

Explanation:  Unknown, must be high to comprehend, Mr. Peele is a genius, or UFO on ‘roids!

B in T MLB

Cardinals

Wainwright’s fastball topped at 85mph, curve at 68mph!

Right-hander 21-year-old Tinker Hence (no relation to Tinker Owens) fastball never went below 96 and his sinker drops down to hell and back as my Uncle Jeff used to say!

Jordan Walker will start in left field on opening day and be the Rookie of the year in NL!!

Cubs

SS Dansby Swanson will be the leadoff and steal 35 bases this year!

Rangers

P Jacob deform can be nasty and if healthy can be the no. 1 of the staff but that is a huge IF bro!

Dodgers

The Dodgers lost SS Lux for the year after planting to stop while running the bases 2nd to third.  Out for the year, sad!  The Cards have 3 second basemen the would trade for deGrom!

Royals

The Royals have more talent in their AA Northwest Arkansas team than their major league team!!  Seriously google it!  After Bobby Witt Jr., in KC, the next-best player is in the minors!!  

Brewers

The Brew Crew will be the only threat to world baseball domination by the Cardinals!

Astros

The Stros should win the AL the pennant in 2023 again!!  Altuve will be the lovable stuffed doll/player that Aunt Donna and Uncle Howard will worship every day through the ‘23 year season!!  Too bad the Cardinals will win the World Series in 2023!!

B in T College Basketball Picks

CONFERENCE TOURNAMENTS:

Big 12

Phillips 66 Tournament

In Kansas City- second home for the Kansas Jayhawks!  Ha! Ha!

Oklahoma 71 0klahoma State 70

Both area teams have had a Jekyll and Hyde season!  In continuance Oklahoma wins the last Big 12 season and goes to the Big Dance!!  While Oklahoma State is the last team picked for the 2023 Big Dance!! 

Iowa State 78 Baylor 75

The Cyclones Jaren Holmes like his predecessor Caleb Grill have both been dismissed from the team for unknown reasons.  In each case, the Cloners have rallied to win!!  Who will be dismissed next to ensure the victory!!

AAC Tournament 

Dickies Arena Fort Worth

Tulsa 67 Wichita State 65

Major upset which could push TU into the national spotlight!!  And again this is a homer pick and a blue and gold unicorn could make an appearance at halftime!!  No shat!

SEC Tournament 

Nashville, Tennessee

Arkansas 83 Auburn 80

Razorbacks Nick Smith scored 26 points, grabbed 5 boards, and managed 4 assists as the Hogs overcame a 17-point-second half defect!! 

Bobblehead Sports:

Have a great sports week!

Bryan in Tulsa

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

New to B in T: 

The Center Scoop:

Nude Pickleball is highly recommended for folks like myself who are disabled physically!  The feeling of freedom flows through you as you hit the ball with this massive paddle!  Nude Pickleball has become a massive hit to all the retirement communities in Florida!!  A full-fledged proposal for Nude Pickleball will be completed and presented to the Center Board in 10 days!!  We are prepared for some sass from the board regarding nudity and are prepared to wear undergarments, tidy whites, thongs, or speedos!  Stay tuned for the Center board and Wendy's counter-proposal!!

Dilly dilly!

B in T Rants bout nuthin’

Pac-12 commish George Kliavkoff visiting SMU Wednesday, sources say the Ponies are heading to the PAC-12!!  San Diego State & SMU are the top Pac-12 expansion candidates!  As a TU alum, I will miss the SMU rivalry!!  But they will never take away my memories of puking in the SMU Lamba Chi attic two years in a row!!  Oh, those were da days!!  Bye-bye SMU!!  ??

Can we get Jarred Hall, McDonald All American possible, TU signee for 2023, and the best high schooler in Tennessee, please do not sign with Wake Forest!!  

Top 5 NCAA College Football

2022 Recruiting Budgets:

1. Georgia, $4.5 million

2. Texas A&M, $2.98 million

3. Tennessee, $2.92 million

4. Texas, $2.44 million

5. Alabama, $2.32 million

Others of interest:

1. Oklahoma's $1.8 million

 24.  Oklahoma State $1.2 million

 26.  Arkansas $1.125 Million

 89.  Tulsa Union $189,000

 98.  Cascia Hall Tulsa $146,000

 133.  Tulsa University $99,000

Ozzie, Willie, and Vince!!

These 3 gentlemen made opposing pitchers shake in their booties while averaging 7.6 home runs a year!!  “A walk to any of the 3 amigos below was as good as a triple” the late Jack Buck would say back a few decades ago!!  How many know the last names of these St.Louis Cardinal stars?

..................times up Smith, McGee, and Coleman!

The Oklahoma City Thunder offense sucked last year, in fact, dead dog last, worst in the NBA or Mars!!  Awwwww but wait:  This this year, like sunshine and dew drops glimmering in the morning hours, the Thunder rank 11th (from 30th!) well above average!!!  The Thunder’s stud 6th man, Isaiah Joe, leads the NBA in 3-point percent, is one reason the team is flourishing in 3s!!  This is reminding me of an old Thunder team with Durant and Westbrook, and Harden off the bench for instant offense!  Soon they may even start winning!

How many of my 16 readers are having Bacon-wrapped grasshoppers for the March Madness parties??

B in iT College Basketball 

picks:

ORU 89 - any team bad enough to play 18-0 Summitt League king ORU in the first round - 52

Kentucky 78 at Arkansas 76

The Kentucky players were given a police escort after the controversial win!!  The Kentucky coaches were on their own!!  Don't worry, the coaches were later found at a local Fayetteville tavern!!  The Tavern shall be nameless!!  

TCU 74 at Oklahoma 71

Sooner Nation is reeling after the 6-7 football team and the 13-15 basketball team continues underachieving!!  I have always said Oklahoma is a softball school!!

Oklahoma State 82 at Texas Tech 76

Oklahoma State and ORU are the shining stars of the once-prosperous college basketball state!!  OSU plays with the Red Raiders for too long but won by 6 while leading by as many as 17!!

B in T MLB

Cardinals

New catcher Wilson Contreras, known as a powerful hitter with average defensive skills, is fitting in well with the Bird pitching staff!!  Forty-something, future hall of famer Adam Wainwright,  loves his grit and agility behind the plate for a big fella!!  The Cardinal bats are a bit quiet in the spring after a week but it is early!

Cubs

Braves SS Dabny Swanson signed a big deal with the Cubbies and led all of the NL SSs with 27 home runs!!  177 million reasons for the Cubs to like this young man!

Rangers

A healthy utility player deluxe, Brad Miller will be crucial for the Rangers this year!  Only playing sparingly after injuries in 2022 he should have a solid season after a new yoga/pilates workout in this off-season!

Royals

Time for Bobby Witt Jr. to flourish and be a leader for KC!!

Brewers

UCLA stud OF Garrett Miller hit two homers in his first spring game!!  Watch out for this ie stud!  6’3” 228 lb Centerfielder is dope!

Dodgers

The Dodgers are loaded in the pitching department and have a hitting machine in OF Mookie Betts!!  Belanger is gone and no longer a heartthrob to the young Dodger fans!!  Male and female alike!

Astros

The Stros fans are having a ceremony to hang the 2022 World Championship Banner!  The little train ? in centerfield will raise the flag after each Stro homerun in 2023!

Have a great sports week: