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King Cabbage Brass Concert at TU Commons Thursday Afternoon!! ???????????? ****Special B in T Report**** My TMZ colleagues have stated that Usher, after accepting the Halftime Superbowl gig 5 days ago, has withdrawn his name from the Superbowl halftime extravaganza!! After threats from over a billion Taylor Swift fans (aka Swifties)to sprinkle Taylor makeup over all female youth in America, Usher has relinquished!! Taylor has agreed to sing new songs that sound just like the old sucky songs for the overflow zombie Swiftie fans and to keep dating her lughead KC Chief boy toy Travis Kelce!! Retail sales for NFL Merch will skyrocket!! ???????????? Top Area School’s Rankings: 1.Oklahoma Sooners 2.Spartans of Bixby 3.Arkansas Razorbacks 4.Tulsa Golden Hurricane 5.Titans of Carl Albert 6.OSU Cowboys Bryan in Tulsa ???????????? FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM ???????????? Bobblehead Sports: Grandson Gus just received his new ? Colorado Buffalo Prime Time Deon fur coat!!
The coat, as you can tell, has its own Deon swag with it! ??????????? ??????????????????????? The Bixby Blue 1st grade team bus is a weekend loaner for the kids from Coach Linder’s FLORIDA GATORS! Only four adults are allowed on the bus! All the rest of the seating is for 16 first-grade players are Legos, Hot Wheels and reruns of NFL Slime Time with Nate Russell!! ???????????? Bixby 1st Grade Blue 12 - Union 1st Grade 8 Saturday 4 PM in the afternoon game at Union Tuttle! The Bixby team stopped at Chewys Mexican Cantina for a pre-game luncheon/buffet!! Bixby Blue’s star running back (Caleb) overdid the chips, salsa, and double beans with a burrito late!! Fortunately, he relieved himself before the INFC-mandated weigh-in!! B in T Rants: Interesting side note from my TMZ rep in Boulder, Mark: A home in his affluent neighborhood, 5 blocks from the Colorado Buffalos stadium was for sale in 2019!! Mark’s former model wife and a friend were jogging and met Mel Tucker, who was looking at a house listed next to theirs!! Tucker was a new assistant coach for the Buffs! Coach Tucker insisted on a nice greeting hug and the rest is history for the recently suspended without-pay Michigan State coach!! Innocent until proven guilty. Michigan State suspended football coach Mel Tucker without pay on Sunday, less than 24 hours after allegations became public in a USA Today report that he sexually harassed activist and rape survivor Brenda Tracy during a phone call last year!! *SERIOUSLY - Sexual harassment is a vile issue that has happened since my days in corporate America, and unfortunately never ends! I do this blog for humor 98.2% of the time but the problems of using corporate power to get in the pants of another (a man sexually harassed by a woman, it happens) must be controlled at the management level whether it be a financial institution or a major college football team!! STOP ???????????? B in T College Football Picks: Thursday Night ESPN Tulsa 37 Temple 27 Tulsa is THE college football school for Thursday nights!! Three home games this year will be on Thursdays and two road games on Thursdays and one on Friday!! Good exposure for Tulsa.………if they win!! This game was an AAC special where the loser has no chance in HE?? to move to a power conference!! Tulsa wideout Malachai Jones caught 8 passes for 135 yards and 2 touchdowns! The Tulsa defense continues to improve allowing only 256 yards in total yardage!! Basically, a boring game until Gue T, Tulsa’s new mascot’s head caught on fire!! Evidently, firecrackers were tossed into the giant funnel scorching his his skull, blue hair, and eyebrows!! Approximately $743.45 worth of damage was to the new mascot and Gus T’s head should be ready in 2 weeks!! True shat! Oklahoma 42 Iowa State 20 After some changes with the equipment managers, the new managers brought small yellow football pants for the whole team!! OMG!! After a trip to Dick’s and Academy Sports, the only football pants found were in grey! Yuck! This totally threw the entire team out of kilter, and the entire Clone team showed it in Norman!! Final Stats: OU-432 total yardage, ISU-201, OU-26 first downs, ISU- 9, OU - post-game meal from the Mont in Norman, ISU - 20 pack of McDonald’s chicken nuggets!! Best Hambugers in Oklahoma!! The Mont Cocaine Burger is supposedly the most addicting hamburger ? in Norman, Oklahoma! ???????????? Week 6 - Sooner Guest Getback Coach - THE NUN 2 Ok, Ok I’m BACKING UP?? B in T Alternative Predictions: Arkansas 38 Texas A&M 36 Alternative ending number 1: Arkansas kicks a 48-yard field goal as time runs out!! The Razorback fans storm the field and carry the goalposts to the Fossil Cove Brewing Company!! Texas A&M 36 Arkansas 35 Alternative ending number 2: The Razorback fans storm the field after their kicker misses a 27-yard field goal and escort him to Lake Fayetteville tied to the goal post!! Note* I have dear friends and relatives from both schools so I am doing a movie alternate ending to cover my arse!! Michigan 41 at Nebraska 31 Nebraska coach Matt Ruhle (not related to Houston Astro manager Vern Ruhle) is bringing back to a rock-solid Black shirt, Bob Devany, and Tom Osborne days!! Michigan Coach Khaki just returned from a 3-game suspension for buying a cheeseburger for a recruit, laced with Shrooms!! USC 48 at Colorado 21 Not to be rude but the only 2 folks I know or like on the Colorado Buffalo team is Coach Prime and Safety from Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, via Arkansas, Myles ‘Prime Time Jr.’ Cluster!! Myles did have a pick of Heisman 2022 winner and 2023 leading candidate Caleb Williams!! Go Myles go bro!!! Texas 38 Kansas 19 The Longhorns made the Jayhawks look like a Hawk, ran over by a Peterbilt Truck, smashed by a 747 Jumbo Double Decker Airplane, and finally by BEVO the Texas Longhorn! The score was not reflective of the outcome laid on Kansas!! TCU 42 West Virginia 28 The TCU Frogs of Horny Toad land covered the Las Vegas spread of 11, so probably no Big 12 championship with OU and Texas looming but a nice win over the Mountaineers!! The teams were tied at halftime but TCU gigged West Virginia by 14 gigabytes in the second half!! What a game!! Illinois 35 at Purdue 27 The uniqueness of the Illini vs. The Boilermakers got me interested in researching some mascot nicknames and their history!! The Mascott, Chief Illiniwek from October 30, 1926, to February 21, 2007, was portrayed by a student to represent the Illiniwek state's namesake, although the regalia worn was from the Sioux!? The University of Illinois retired Chief Illiniwek in 2007, with his last official performance on February 21, 2007!! Chief Illiniwek was not good for the Sioux and for the University!! What the ef is a Boilermaker? One fact that may have contributed to public acceptance of the Boilermaker a hands-on education, then you are a often working directly with the tools on a train!! From 1891 to 1897, they kept a fully operational steam locomotive, The Schenectady, on hand for research. Real boilermakers and blacksmiths would have felt right at home in this university lab!!! Present day: The real Boilermaker: Notre Dame 47 at Duke 28 The Duke Wallace Wade football stadium can hold 40,000 with temporary bleachers from the local high school!! The Cameron Indoor Arena is a historic arena where the legendary Duke basketball team played! The attendance of 10,000 has been sold out for the Blue Devils basketball for 40 years and for 40 years in the future!! Football is still waiting for a sell-out!! Notre Dame's QB looks similar to Burt Reynolds with long hair!! But threw a football much better than Burt did at Florida State!! Ha!! Irish QB Sam Hartman was 22 for 27 for 335 yards and 4 touchdowns against the Dukies! ???????????? B in T High School Picks: Pumpkin Man’s 2023 second sighting was at Woodland Hills food court!! Lunch on this particular Saturday at the Woodland Food Court had free brownies!! On a giant table in the middle of the food court there were thousands of brownies with a sign and a card from The Pumpkin ? Man!! Don't eat brownies and drive!! After mass twittering kids from all over Oklahoma flocked to Woodland Hills!! Sales doubled at Tulsa’s largest indoor mall!! The Tulsa economy soared and families throughout Oklahoma prospered!! Thank you, Pumpkin Man, oh.….the BROWNIES WERE EUPHORIC!! Collinsville 35 at Bishop Kelley 31 Both of these 5A schools are powerful and should be placed in the elite final 8 of 5A!! Collinsville’s 305-pound Tackle Colton Christian and his O Lineman buddies wore out the Comets in the second half!! Bixby 55 at Southmoore 18 Next week the 17th-nationally ranked Spartans have agreed to take photoshoots with the OKC Thunder Cheerleaders for (NIL) Name, Image, and Likeness purposes for certain Bixby sponsors!! These NIL sponsorships were for certain high-level Bixby donors who are will use their player likenesses with a Thunder Cheerleader to promote love ? and tranquility!! The Southmore Sabercats team was not prepared for the speed and quickness of Bixby! But who is? Bixby held Southmore to 6 first downs, 34 yards of total offense and 9 sacks!! Oklahoma Christian (Edmond) 51 Blackwell 6 After Blackwell covered the 40-point spread, the ladies at the Blackwell First Christian Church felt justified with the Sunday Service when they asked forgiveness for all of the gamblers in Kay County!! *B in T and Mrs. B in T were married here 38 years ago!! BTW 30 at Stillwater 21 Numerous scouts were at the game to see as many as 17 players on the Booker T roster, out of 60!! The Pioneers had one player and several D1 cheerleaders being scouted!! Carl Albert 56 at Shawnee 6 The game was moved to this date so that Shawnee would not have CA as their homecoming game!! In fact, Carl Albert was last asked to be a Homecoming opponent in 1967 against the Grove Ridgerunners!! Google it!! WHY? A local high school coach once said ‘Why in the efff are we playing the Jenks Trojans for Homecoming, can't we schedule the Dallas Cowboys??’ Ha! Ridgerunner Super Moms Contest Shawnee .922 Carl Albert .892 The Shawnee Boosterettes beat the CA moms in the final competition of the week!! Making the state's largest pumpkin pie is nothing for the 5-time state champion Shawnee moms! Easy win for the Boosterettes!! Mom and Pop Diner Shawnee- Sunnyside Up Diner 426 N Broadway Ave, Shawnee, OK 74801 The famous Friday Night football quote " I love football. I love everything about it. I love Friday nights when you're lookin' for a win and Saturday mornin' when you've found one “ was originated here in The Sunny Side Diner in Shawnee! No SHAT!! Cascia Hall 35 Central 27 Centrall Football expects to win against Cascia in the current world of Oklahoma High School football! In recent years Central just wanted to escape the game uninjured physically and mentally!! Cascia is strong and wins with QB two touchdown passes in the fourth quarter by The latter TD coming with 13 seconds left!! Choctaw 60 Capital Hill 12 The Capitol Hill Redwolves would be a great opponent for my Hale Rangers!! Choctaw’s freshmen and 8th graders suited up for the 2nd half!! Choctaw 7th grader parents were upset that their little kiddos were not suiting up!! Yes they are……. Keifer 45 Sperry 38 QB Jaxson Worley, Senior super stud, has almost 700 yards with 11 TDs and 4 picks!! At 6’3” and 200lbs Division II scouts are drooling!! Down the Road Motors signed a NIL (Name/Image/Likeness) deal with the Jaxson and wide receiver Will Adams with both having the use of a used 2018 Chevy Silverado every other day!! If approved by the dealership the boys may double-date with Kiefer girls only until the NIL deal is finished at the end of the Kiefer basketball season!! Edison 46 Hale 6 The Rangers scored at will against Eagles back in the '60s, '70s, and '80s!! Back in the day!! Nowadays we are just happy to score!! Edison is still considered to be somewhat of a puppy yuppie school due to its location close to midtown Tulsa!! The score should be exact!! Jenks 48 Westmoore 13 QB Shaker Reisig of Jenks, oh wait he transferred to Union!! The Jenks QB who is not listed on the 120-player Union varsity may have transferred from Bone Fudge Egypt for all I know!! HE threw 4 TDs and one pick, completing 18-24 passes and 245 yards! HE won the game for Jenks single-handled!! Whomever he is? Owasso 45 Mustang 34 The Rams offense is led by QBs Knox Dyson and Tyler Caviness (sounds like Hollywood's leading men)! The Ram D was led by tackling machine LB Lyric Wheeler with 12 tackles and a new NIL deal with Owasso’s Jim Glover's auto group!! For every car bought on a Friday night game, Lyric Wheeler will get a free car wash for his new (leased to Lyrick for one day a week) Dodge Ram!! Yeah, what a NIL deal!! Tonkawa 41 Pawnee 21 The Black Bears of Pawnee were shocked by the overflow crowd at Buccaneer Field!! Evidently, the crowd was given free fruit and veggies from the Kelley and Charlie world-renowned garden if they promised to dig two new additional gardens for a giant Pumpkin ? patch!! Kelley promises to make 500 new pumpkin pies before Thanksgiving and the whole town of Tonkawa is stoked!! B in T Pro Picks ???????????? Cowboys 31 Patriots 6 The Patriots offense is still under New England Coach Buildadic’s regime soooo 6 points for the Patriots may be a smidge too much!! Chiefs 31 at Jets 21 The Jets, without Rodgers at QB, are a warm fuzzy with the B in T pick!! But if Aaron DOES QB, Jets by Fitty Five!! Bears 20 Broncos 13 The Bears and Broncos are fighting for number one draft pick, USC’s QB Caleb Williams! The Bear ownership and fans are not smart enough to know what play dead means, Caleb to the Broncos!! Texans 24 Steelers 21 Rookie QB CJ looks better than Steeler draftee QB Pickett with small hands from last year !! TMZ Actual Photograph ???????????? Have a great sports week! Bryan in Tulsa
September 27, 2023 at 06:19AM |
 Fun with King Cabbage!! Read the full report at Faked Out Sports. |
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