Chuck Schumer's cousin Amy Schumer has a new comedy show coming out. To advertise how funny it is, she wants you to think about having abortions. Specifically, come visit Colorado where you can abort your choice up until just before the baby pops out.

"Abortion tourism" is the idea that pro-abortion states like California, New York, and Colorado advertise you can get an abortion there and while you are aborting your child, why not take in a show or eat at a restaurant? Make a whole weekend out of it. Keep in mind, these are the same people who think they aren't the ones with extreme abortion opinions. Keep all this in mind when New York legalizes abortion until the 7th trimester in a year or two

I could get outraged and upset about this. I could point out how gross the idea of abortion tourism and Amy Schumer is. Instead, let's focus on all the times she was accused of stealing other comedians' material. It's a lengthy video. And this is only as of 2017.

September 30, 2022 at 12:53PM - Brodigan
Watch: Amy Schumer airs an abortion tourism ad to promote an alleged comedy show
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder

Turmoil erupted in a Vermont high school. Members of the girl's volleyball team are speaking out about their locker room not being a safe space, and the high school says they don't care. It revolves around one of the girls who was born a boy.

At Randolph High School, students are allowed to use whatever locker room corresponds with their gender that week. For one volleyball player, that means changing in the girls' locker room despite, I'm assuming, still having all of her male body parts. The girls uncomfortable about that are being treated as if they are the weird ones. One student, Blake Allen, is speaking out on their behalf.

I feel like for stating my opinion -- that I don’t want a biological man changing with me -- that I should not have harassment charges or bullying charges. They should all be dropped.

In a world that made sense, the charges should be dropped. Sadly, as we saw with the Lia Thomas drama where girls were told to calm down and shut up about it, or they would have their lives destroyed. "Transgender" outranks "teenage girl" on the left's pound for pound most marginalized rankings.

WCAX-3 reports the drama started when the trans student made an inappropriate comment while members of the volleyball team were getting changed. It's unclear what the inappropriate comment was. Maybe she said one of the girls had a nice rack. Maybe she made a joke about her cock. The rules get murky because if a cisgendered male made those comments, that male would be expelled from school. But since it's a transgender female, the cisgender females are at fault for not having a sense of humor.

The solution, per the school, was to provide "plenty of space where students who feel uncomfortable with the laws may change in privacy.” Again, because THOSE students are in the wrong. Allen believes this isn't fair.

They want all the girls who feel uncomfortable -- so pretty much 10 girls -- to get changed in a single stall bathroom.

Co-Principal Lisa Floyd claimed to WCAX-3 that student safety was "the district’s top priority" and that when policies are violated, disciplinary action consistent with the law will be taken. The school is conducting an investigation into the incident. The investigation is if the girls who believe their locker room should be a safe space were the ones who harassed the transgender student.

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September 30, 2022 at 12:32PM - Brodigan
High school female volleyball players banned from locker room for speaking out about changing with trans teammate
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder

Nancy Pelosi gave a press briefing today where she said, out loud, with her mouth, that we need illegal migrants to pick our crops. If you were wondering why Democrats were doing so poorly with Hispanics, let Nancy explain why. The poster child for term limits, limousine liberalism, and extra absorbent adult diapers made it clear how she views certain people.

The reason why Democrats and the media (but I repeat myself) don't care about the border crisis is because to them there is no crisis. A crisis would imply things aren't working exactly how the left wants them to.

We have a responsibility to secure our border.

Which you suck at.

We also have a responsibility to recognize the importance of welcoming newcomers. Right now the best thing we can do for our economy is to have comprehensive immigration reform.

One side says the current laws should be enforced. Nancy Pelosi's side wants amnesty and brand new laws for them to ignore too. Point to the common ground.

We have a shortage of workers in our country...

Yes, thanks to your party paying people not to work with legislation that Nancy Pelosi would short circuit over trying to explain.

...and you see in Florida some of the farmers and the growers are saying 'why are you shipping these immigrants up North? We need them to pick the crops down here.'

No one in Florida is saying that. There is a sheriff in Texas saying that because he hates the long wait time at his favorite restaurant. But no one in Florida.

That doesn't mean we don't recognize our moral obligation as well.

She then went on to attack Donald Trump who she wouldn't mention by name, and who she referred to as the "occasional occupant of the White House," effectively questioning Trump winning a free and fair election in 2016. I was to believe that means you literally hate democracy literally. There is an exception when leftists do it.

Pelosi can't get yeeted out of the speaker's office fast enough.

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September 30, 2022 at 11:31AM - Brodigan
Nancy Pelosi blurts out truth about why Democrats love illegal immigration: 'we need them to pick our crops'
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder

I get that you can't make comments about big-breasted women in the workplace. That's what is called "inappropriate." But you should be able to make chesticles jokes outside of work when someone compliments your car. You can't at Apple, as now former vice president of procurement Tony Blevins is learning.

Here's the offending clip. Daniel Mac is a content creator that asks people with really nice cars what they do for a living. He was impressed with Blevins' Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren.

I have rich cars, play golf, and fondle big-brested women. But I take weekends and major holidays off.

I am 99.86% sure Blevins was doing Arthur. Or, his version of Arthur. The movie is over forty years old, so he didn't have the quote quite right. But it was a clear joke. He did not mean his literal job was fondling big-breasted women. He didn't make the comment in the office. He was having an enjoyable weekend with a well-endowed lady friend, who also found the joke funny.

But the clip went viral, and you'll totally believe what happens next.

After an internal investigation into the matter, Blevins’s team -- which included about half a dozen direct reports and several hundred employees -- was removed from his command, according to people familiar with the situation.

I thought this was America. Though I'm not surprised about Apple. My guess is there are a lot of flat-chested women there who felt bad.

Tony Blevins should have specified that he meant big-breasted (alleged) trans women. Apple would have given him an award.

September 30, 2022 at 09:26AM - Brodigan
Apple executive goes viral for joke about big-breasted women, gets fired because fun is dead
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder

Elon Musk buying Twitter had promise at first. Now after drawn-out litigation, the bird app sucks as much as if ever did. Newly released text messages between Elon and Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal show the deal might have been doomed from the start.

To recap, this all began when Musk bought a bunch of shares of Twitter, making him the majority shareholder. He was invited to join the board of directors. Elon excepted. Then after the weekend, Elon declined. It was clear something happened over those forty-eight hours. Musk insinuated as much. The Internal Tech Emails newsletter released all the tweets that are a part of the litigation. This one stands out from April 9th.

Paraagl was unhappy Elon was saying mean things about the company. He texted the billionaire:

You are free to tweet "is Twitter dying?" or anything else about Twitter - but it's my responsibility to tell you that it's not helping me make Twitter better in the current context. Next time we speak, l'd like to you provide you perspective on the level of internal distraction right now and how it hurting our ability to do work. I hope the AMA will help people get to know you, to understand why you believe in Twitter, and to trust you - and l'd like the company to get to a place where we are more resilient and don't get distracted, but we aren't there right now.

Elon's seven-word response was savage:

What did you get done this week?

It was then that Elon realized joining the board and working with Parag would be a waste of time, and the bid for the hostile takeover was born.

Now it's in the hands of lawyers and an undetermined number of fake Twitter accounts. Thanks to the Twitter whistleblower, turns out there could be a lot more than the Board of Directors let on when Elon made his offer.

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September 30, 2022 at 08:04AM - Brodigan
Newly revealed texts show Elon Musk only needed seven words to tell Parag Agrawal who his new daddy was
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder

In the liberal city of Austin, where people from the liberal state of California move to and vote for the same policies that caused them to leave California, a roving gang of porch pirates is on the loose. It's the same group of guys hitting houses. We have the ring camera evidence, yet we don't have any arrests. One woman decided to teach these nogoodniks a lesson and pranked them with a box full of dirty diapers.

The joke was on her when she had to clean poop off her house. Twice. The first time was when the pirates smeared the dirty diapers all over the house. The second was when they CAME BACK with manure to further send a message.

September 30, 2022 at 07:19AM - Brodigan
Woman attempts to prank porch pirates with dirty diapers, winds up with a house covered in poop instead
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder

Major Jamie Lee Henry shattered a glass ceiling in 2015, becoming the first transgender military officer in the U.S. Army. Now, in 2022, Jamie is shattering another glass ceiling becoming the first transgender officer indicted for spying.

Henry and "her" wife Dr. Anna Gabrielian, a doctor at Johns Hopkins, was busted trying to hand the medical records of senior officers and their families to the Russians. What the female couple did not know is that the Russian agent they were talking to was an undercover FBI agent.

Henry, born a dude and entering the Army as a dude, shattered her first glass ceiling becoming the first to change their name and gender while in the US Army. In a glowing profile on Buzzfeed (where else), Henry said being trans has made her a, quote, "better service member" and a, quote, "better doctor." So much so, Henry won the Dr. Mary Walker Award. Dr. Mary Walker Award was the first cisgender female surgeon in the Army and the only cisgender female recipient of the Medal of Honor. Unclear is how many cisgender females were overlooked that year.

The indictment says Gabrielian was motivated by her "patriotism" to Russia. Henry sounds like "she" was motivated by love, and was used for her security clearance. Though, as reported by the Daily Mail, Henry allegedly tried to volunteer to fight for Russia against Ukraine. Henry was rejected because while a doctor, "she" had no actual combat experience. The Russian army prioritizes things like that for some reason.

Now, with this new glass ceiling Henry shattered, she becomes the first transgender military officer indicted for spying and stabbing her country in the back. If convicted, she will become the first transgender to be sentenced to fifteen years for conspiracy and wrongful disclosure of individually identifiable health information.

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September 29, 2022 at 02:56PM - Brodigan
Army's first trans officer shatters another glass ceiling, becomes first trans officer indicted for spying
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder

Before anyone starts, yes I remember Kevin Costner wore that dumb Liz Cheney shirt. I care about that about as much as I care about Liz Cheney, who is gone in a few months. Okay? Ok. What's important is that the new season of Yellowstone is out in November. A brand new trailer dropped today. And it starts off by sharing a major new storyline. John Dutton is the Governor of Montana.

September 29, 2022 at 12:42PM - Brodigan
New trailer for Yellowstone Season 5 is out and it already reveals one major storyline change
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder

Karine Jean Pierre should send Sonny Hostin a muffin basket for coming in clutch. Thanks to The View today, KJP no longer has the dumbest response to Joe Biden seeing dead people. You see, the problem isn't an elderly man whose brain is 51% rice pudding falling apart before our very eyes. The problem is America's AGEISM in criticizing the President of the United States being an elderly man whose brain is 51% rice pudding falling apart before our very eyes.

To recap, Congresswoman Jackie Walorski died tragically in a car accident in August. At an event in the White House yesterday that included a memorial video for her, Joey called on her to be recognized at the event. That's difficult for her to do, what with the dying at all. Even the lapdog media couldn't excuse this latest example of why critics say the president has dementia.

The shrill harpies on The View hit the usual notes: it's no big deal, what about Trump, derpity right-wing media derp derp. But Hostin took it to a different level.

I think what it really shows is this country is so ageist. This country has a problem with age. You go to other countries and our elders are revered.

She HATES this about our country.

Don't blame the President of the United States for falling apart before your very eyes. Don't blame the people who control Biden that need to be brought up on senior abuse charges. Blame yourself.

You should respect your elders when they see dead people. Even when they are the President of the United States. But only if the president has the same political opinion as The View.

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September 29, 2022 at 12:16PM - Brodigan
Watch: Sunny Hostin seizes on Americans mocking our elderly president's latest brain fart, blames 'ageism’
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder

We interrupt your regularly scheduled news for today's episode of Girl vs. Raccoon. It's a niche audience. It's from the people who brought you such hits as Fox vs. Grandmother and Bear vs. 7-11. I'll spoil the story and say that the raccoon won this round. But it's not bout the destination, it's about the journey. And our journey begins on a street in Somewhere U.S.A.

It is unclear what the woman, we'll call her Large Marge, and the raccoon were arguing about. Maybe the raccoon stole her cheesecake. Maybe the raccoon called Marge by the wrong pronouns. Maybe Marge was convinced the raccoon was Bradley Cooper in costume and wanted him to sign her Guardians of the Galaxy poster. Marge was saying "I know you're Bradley Cooper" and the raccoon was saying... I don't know, whatever sounds a raccoon makes.

The raccoon grew tired of such silliness and started chasing Marge away. I doubt the raccoon told her "I just wanted to take another look at you." Though if raccoons could laugh, this was had to be in hysterics when Marge -- dressed like... that -- wiped out in the street.

Here's where the boyfriend -- let's call him Reggie -- comes in. Or, if not the boyfriend, the guy Marge only likes as a friend. Reggie flexed on the raccoon. Like, legit flexed on him. He assumed a "come at be bro" fighting stance. To a raccoon. At this point in the video, I wish the raccoon WAS being voiced by Bradley Cooper. I'd love to hear the raccoon telling Reggie "you don't want these paws" before he starts gnawing Reggie's face off.

Instead, the raccoon responded to the flex with a flex of his own. And Reggie ran away.

The real MVP is my man in the car who saw it go down on sight and thought to record it. I won't even deduct him a point for not having sound. What's important is that he thought of those of us who hustle content for a living and didn't hesitate. 10/10 content.

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September 29, 2022 at 11:36AM - Brodigan
Watch: Woman wipes out after losing argument to a raccoon, but the real comedy is when her boyfriend gets involved
Click the headline to read the full report at Louder With Crowder