Choosing a Halloween costume is a landmine: how do you know where the line is between clever and incredibly offensive? Here's how: you read The Babylon Bee, where we help you make the right lifestyle choices each and every day. Check out this handy infographic to know which costumes to avoid. It is the current year, after all.

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CALABASAS, CA—A forlorn, dejected President Trump pulled up to Kanye West's sprawling mansion in Calabasas in a presidential motorcade, got out, and sulked to the front door Wednesday afternoon.

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NORTH HERO, VT—It's Halloween, which means trick-or-treaters are beginning to flood the streets of cities and towns all across the country in a beloved tradition. Children joyously knock on doors and receive candy at most of the houses in their neighborhood—most of the houses, that is, except for that of Bernie Sanders.

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U.S.—The nation's liberals were "deeply grateful" that more and more strict constructionists have been appointed to both the Supreme Court and other federal court positions after President Trump suggested he would get rid of the concept of birthright citizenship as outlined in the 14th Amendment.

The post Liberals Thankful Strict Constructionists On Supreme Court After Trump’s Attack On 14th Amendment appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

RICHMOND, VA—Local woman Lisa Whitaker told sources on Sunday she hopes her husband James listened closely to their pastor’s sermon on self-righteousness. The sermon, taken from Matthew 7, centered around Jesus’ famous exhortation to remove the log from one’s own eye before pointing out the speck in someone else’s. As soon as the pastor began preaching, Lisa knew the message was perfectly suited for her husband, sources confirmed.

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U.S.—A brief PSA for anyone participating in Halloween trick-or-treating this year: remember to check your kids' candy bags for Reese's peanut butter cups, so you can eat them before they do.

The post Reminder: Check Your Kids' Candy Bags For Reese's Peanut Butter Cups So You Can Eat Them Before They Do appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Settling years of Christian debate, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg confirmed in an interview Tuesday that the earth was created in a literal six days about 6,000 years ago.

The post Ruth Bader Ginsburg Confirms Earth Only 6,000 Years Old appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—Christianity has long been trailing behind secular entertainment sources, especially in the realm of comic books.

The post Meet Captain Abstinence, The Christian Superhero Summoned By The Power Of Five Purity Rings Combined appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—Several recent studies have provided supporting data to the idea that Democrats' rhetoric may be inciting violence against the nation's unborn babies, sources confirmed Tuesday.

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