OTTAWA—From an undisclosed hiding place outside Canada's capital city, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau confirmed for the world that he has tragically tested positive for fascism. 

The post Trudeau Tests Positive For Fascism appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reportedly fled his residence at Rideau Cottage this morning, sneaking past a small fringe minority of 50,000 racist truckers while wearing the perfect disguise: blackface.

The post Trudeau Dons Blackface To Escape Capital Undetected appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a move that experts on both sides of the aisle are praising as financially bold and politically effervescent, President Biden asked the Federal Reserve to just print up a few batches of approval points.

The post Biden Asks Federal Reserve To Just Print Him More Approval Points appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—First Lady Jill Biden has announced that the White House has welcomed a new pet, a cat named Willow. Initial reports indicate that things are not going quite as planned from Willow’s perspective, as she is blamed for all the messes on the Oval Office carpet.

The post White House Cat Already Tired Of Being Blamed For All These Accidents On Oval Office Carpet appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—Health experts are sounding the alarm over thousands and thousands of uncensored Joe Rogan-style conversations happening between millions of private citizens across the nation. Public health officials warn that if these conversations are not stopped, they may be powerless to halt the spread of opinions they don't agree with. 

The post Health Experts Warn Of Thousands Of Joe Rogan-Style Uncensored Conversations Increasingly Happening Between Everyday People appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

OTTAWA—Socialists around the world are condemning the trucker freedom protest in Canada as the working class unites to defend their human rights. 

The post Socialists Condemn Workers Of The World For Uniting appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

MENIFEE, CA—Ultra-spiritual Christian Lyle Hombre spent the entire worship service internally criticizing the worship songs this Sunday, even mumbling some critiques of the praise choruses to his wife, while lesser Christians around him simply and joyfully praised the Lord, sources confirmed Sunday.

The post Ultra-Spiritual Churchgoer Criticizes Worship Songs While Lesser Christians Around Him Joyfully Praise The Lord appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

NEW YORK, NY—The entire cast of The View has threatened to go on strike and resign in protest should Joe Rogan not be removed from Spotify. The bold gesture came as more and more high-profile musicians and celebrities piled on Neil Young's move to remove his music from the service due to medical misinformation, though this is a significant development as it's the first time someone under the age of 75 has made the move.

The post Cast Of 'The View' Threatens To Quit If Rogan Isn't Removed From Spotify appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

EL PASO, TX—Sporting a safety helmet and holding blueprints in his naturally-tanned hands, former president Donald J. Trump gave orders to busy construction crews as work began on a project that may very well save Democracy as we know it: a much higher border wall to keep out President Biden’s migrant flights into the heart of America.

The post Trump Designing Much, Much Higher Wall To Keep Out Biden’s Migrant Flights appeared first on The Babylon Bee.