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'Workers Of The World Unite!' Says Man Who Has Never Worked A Day In His Life

4/30/2020

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PORTLAND, OR—Local man Rayne Skye Meadows is constantly reciting Communist mantras like "Workers of the world, unite!" though he himself is not a worker, never has been, and currently has no plans to be one, ever.

The post 'Workers Of The World, Unite!' Says Man Who Has Never Worked A Day In His Life appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


'Workers Of The World, Unite!' Says Man Who Has Never Worked A Day In His Life,
April 30, 2020 at 01:29PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

Click on the headline to read the full article at The Babylon Bee
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A Guide To Mom

4/30/2020

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Mother's Day is right around the corner. In case you hadn't spent a lot of time observing your—or someone else's—mother, we put this graphic together so that you will catch all the fine details about moms.

The post A Guide To Mom appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


A Guide To Mom,
April 30, 2020 at 12:50PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

Click on the headline to read the full article at The Babylon Bee
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Frantic Parents Locate Lost Ben Shapiro At Temple Owning Libs With Facts And Logic

4/30/2020

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LOS ANGELES, CA—Ben Shapiro and his parents attended Temple Beth El this past Sabbath, but after returning home, Mr. and Mrs. Shapiro were horrified to discover little Ben was not with them.

The post Frantic Parents Locate Lost Ben Shapiro At Temple Owning Libs With Facts And Logic appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Frantic Parents Locate Lost Ben Shapiro At Temple Owning Libs With Facts And Logic,
April 30, 2020 at 12:42PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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YouTube Removing All Videos That Don't Begin With The Chinese National Anthem

4/30/2020

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SAN BRUNO, CA—In light of the ongoing fight to halt the spread of dangerous or yucky opinions, YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki has announced new changes to Google's video-sharing platform. Starting next week, any video that does not begin with the glorious strains of China's uplifting national anthem will be immediately deleted from the platform. 

The post YouTube Removing All Videos That Don't Begin With The Chinese National Anthem appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


YouTube Removing All Videos That Don't Begin With The Chinese National Anthem,
April 30, 2020 at 12:40PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

Click on the headline to read the full article at The Babylon Bee
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Food Supply Issues Means U.S. Can No Longer Sustain Entire Country Being Morbidly Obese

4/30/2020

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U.S.—As the shutdown of the entire country starts to affect the food supply chain, with meat processing plants and other businesses closing, there are now signs of a looming crisis. Researchers say that the U.S. may soon no longer have enough food to support the entire country's being morbidly obese.

The post Food Supply Issues Means U.S. Can No Longer Sustain Entire Country Being Morbidly Obese appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Food Supply Issues Means U.S. Can No Longer Sustain Entire Country Being Morbidly Obese,
April 30, 2020 at 10:40AM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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California Prisons Release Thousands Of Felons To Make Room For Skaters Surfers People Who Go Outside

4/30/2020

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SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom has instructed detention facilities across California to begin releasing violent felons to make room for skateboarders, surfers, and other people who have committed the heinous crime of going outside.

The post California Prisons Release Thousands Of Felons To Make Room For Skaters, Surfers, People Who Go Outside appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


California Prisons Release Thousands Of Felons To Make Room For Skaters, Surfers, People Who Go Outside,
April 30, 2020 at 10:39AM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

Click on the headline to read the full article at The Babylon Bee
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Lazy Pastor Starts Broadcasting Reruns

4/29/2020

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The post Lazy Pastor Starts Broadcasting Reruns appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Lazy Pastor Starts Broadcasting Reruns,
April 29, 2020 at 05:32PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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Food Supply Disaster Averted As Chick-Fil-A Miraculously Feeds Entire Nation With Just 5 Chicken Sandwiches 2 Waffle Fries

4/29/2020

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ATLANTA, GA—Food companies have issued dire warnings about the state of the nation's food supply, suggesting there could be significant disruptions and shortages coming thanks to COVID-19-related closures.

The post Food Supply Disaster Averted As Chick-Fil-A Miraculously Feeds Entire Nation With Just 5 Chicken Sandwiches, 2 Waffle Fries appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Food Supply Disaster Averted As Chick-Fil-A Miraculously Feeds Entire Nation With Just 5 Chicken Sandwiches, 2 Waffle Fries,
April 29, 2020 at 05:26PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

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California Establishes Official Fun Police

4/29/2020

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SACRAMENTO, CA—In conjunction with Governor Gavin Newsom's "stay at home" order, the State of California will be unleashing a new state law enforcement agency tasked with carrying out the spirit of the order that no one anywhere even think of doing anything remotely fun at all and remain inside their locked homes feeling nothing but boredom and sadness.

The post California Establishes Official Fun Police appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


California Establishes Official Fun Police,
April 29, 2020 at 04:24PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

Click on the headline to read the full article at The Babylon Bee
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Introvert Misses Good Old Days When People Didn't Video Call Him All The Time

4/29/2020

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ALBANY, NY—Local introvert Jacob Whitely had initially been having a really fun time in quarantine.  He got to read books alone, play video games alone, and even, occasionally, cry alone. However, things started to change a few weeks ago.

The post Introvert Misses Good Old Days When People Didn't Video Call Him All The Time appeared first on The Babylon Bee.


Introvert Misses Good Old Days When People Didn't Video Call Him All The Time,
April 29, 2020 at 02:47PM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee

Click on the headline to read the full article at The Babylon Bee
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 SoonerPolitics.org is committed to informing & mobilizing conservative Oklahomans for civic reform & restored liberty. We seeks to utilize the efforts of all cooperative facets of the Conservative movement... Content of the diverse columns are solely at the discretion of the dozens of websites who create the content.   David Van Risseghem  is the founder of this platform.
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