ISRAEL—The media has condemned Israel for launching an unprovoked attack on innocent Hamas rockets that just so happened to be flying overhead last night.

The post Media Condemns Israel For Unprovoked Attack On Innocent Hamas Rockets appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

GAZA—In an embarrassing blunder on camera, a Middle East reporter for the Associated Press Forgot to remove his green Hamas headband and ski mask before going live to cover Israel's latest airstrike. 

The post Oops! AP Reporter Forgets To Remove Hamas Headband Before Going Live appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—According to reports, the deaf community is still using the secret Nazi racism symbol-- the "OK" sign-- in their day-to-day communications. This is causing some journalists to raise concerns that deaf people may be secret Nazis. 

The post On Racist 'OK' Sign, Deaf Community Remains Suspiciously Silent appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

MARS—Chinese state media has confirmed they have successfully landed a beautiful female rover named Zhurong on the surface of Mars. This is causing some to raise security concerns that she may enter into a relationship with NASA's Perseverence rover and steal American secrets.  

The post China Lands Alluring Female Mars Rover To Steal Secrets From NASA Rover appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

CONCORD, NH—Local libertarian man Bernard Paulson hasn't worn a mask the entire pandemic, saying that it's his constitutional right to go where he wants, sneeze when he wants, and lick any doorknob he so pleases.

The post Libertarians To Begin Wearing Masks Now That Government Says They Don't Have To appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

All the states are now offering insane, mind-blowing, once-in-a-lifetime offers to get you vaccinated. From lottery prize winnings to burgers and fries, all these prizes can be yours if you just go get the jab.

The post Here Are The Vaccine Incentives Being Offered In Each Of The 50 States appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—As the gas shortages continue following the Colonial Pipeline hack, Antifa members have been forced to find alternatives to throwing Molotov cocktails. Now the well-known, mostly peaceful freedom fighters have resorted to throwing non-flammable liquids. 

The post Amid Gasoline Shortage, Antifa Switches To Molotov Mocktails appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—The pandemic has come with big changes for everyone, and in some, it’s caused downright insane behavior. Perhaps the most insane are those who were eager to get the vaccine and yet insist on wearing a mask like they have no idea what a vaccine is. Law enforcement is finally going to do something, as they’ve announced they will now apprehend and lock up these lunatics for the protection of themselves and others.

The post Dangerous Anti-Science Conspiracy Theorists To Continue Wearing Masks Outside appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

NEW YORK, NY—Now that lots of places are removing their mask mandates, many liberals are running into a problem: people are mistaking them for freedom-loving Republicans. Some say they are going to continue to triple-mask well after the pandemic just to make sure no one ever thinks they love liberty or conservative social values. 

The post Liberal Gets Mask Tattooed On His Face So No One Will Think He's One Of Those Crazy Republicans appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

FRANKLIN, TN—Dave Ramsey is facing a massive scandal after his wife Sharon reported catching the “Total Money Makeover” author and debt-free living advocate looking at illicit images of credit card applications online.

The post Dave Ramsey's Wife Catches Him Looking At Credit Card Applications appeared first on The Babylon Bee.