U.S.—Experts are warning of yet another new problem facing the nation: They’ve spotted a new, more dangerous freedom variant spreading among the populace. This freedom is so virulent that people infected by it feel they can ignore government edicts about masks and lockdowns.

The post Dangerous New Freedom Variant Causing People To Ignore Government And Live Their Lives appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—The new unemployment numbers are out, and they're pretty discouraging: among ethnic mascots of baseball teams and corporate brands, unemployment has skyrocketed 800% in the past year.

The post Unemployment Up 800% Among Ethnic Mascots appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Federal Bureau of Investigations has announced that it has uncovered a group planning to hatch terror plots all across the country. In a shocking twist, the organization is headquartered right in Washington, D.C., at the J. Edgar Hoover FBI building.

The post FBI Discovers Building Full Of Dangerous Extremists Organizing Acts Of Terror Across Country appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

TITAN—Some surprising information has come out about Thanos’s scheme to obtain the six Infinity Stones and kill half of all life in the universe: The FBI initiated the plot.

The post Report: FBI Helped Thanos Get Six Infinity Stones In Attempt To Bust Him On Plot To Kill Half The Universe appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

CINCINNATI, OH—As part of a campaign to raise awareness and improve public knowledge on treatment options, CNN aired an hour-long public service announcement on the warning signs of dementia Wednesday night.

The post CNN Airs Hour-Long PSA On Warning Signs Of Dementia appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After the earth-shattering success of Olivia Rodrigo's White House vaccine promotion, Biden has announced he will be inviting teen pop sensation and performer of "MMMBop", Hanson.

The post To Get Kids Interested In The Vaccine, Biden Holds Photo Op With Teen Pop Sensation Hanson appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

TOKYO—After the U.S. women's team's embarrassing loss to Sweden in this year's Olympics, America is hoping to come back and regain the gold in the tournament by replacing all the women with a high-school boys team.

The post To Improve Olympic Chances, US Women's Soccer Team Replaced By 15-Year-Old Boys Team In Wigs appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Recent revelations have confirmed that the FBI was the one who organized the attempted kidnapping of Governor Gretchen Whitmer. But did you know that almost every domestic terror attack in U.S. history was actually orchestrated by the FBI? What a bunch of classic pranksters those FBI agents are!

The post 8 Domestic Terror Plots That Were Actually Orchestrated By The FBI appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON D.C.—According to reports, President Joe Biden has purchased the entire collection of Hunter Biden's artwork for $12.6 million. In a discussion with an anonymous source, he said he hopes this gives him the leverage he needs for an audience with the President. 

The post Joe Biden Buys All Of Hunter's Artwork In Hopes Of Meeting The President appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

ORLANDO, FL—Disney has recently unveiled their latest addition to their Hall Of Presidents attraction located in the Magic Kingdom. It now features an Audio-Animatronic replica of President Joe Biden that exhibits stunning accuracy of his likeness. 

The post Disney's Animatronic Biden Praised As 'Incredibly Realistic' After It Short Circuits, Has Speech Malfunction appeared first on The Babylon Bee.