SUN VALLEY, CA—In a move ostensibly to support interdenominational cooperation, John MacArthur’s Grace Community Church staff gifted a large, impressive wooden pulpit with a giant bow on top to nearby charismatic congregation Azusa Water Of Life Church, sources confirmed Sunday morning. What the Pentecostals didn’t realize is that pastor and author John MacArthur himself was […]

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U.S.—Two full weeks after the horrific mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida that claimed 17 lives and injured scores more, the nation’s moral relativists have still not come out of the hiding places to which they retreated on the afternoon of the shooting, sources confirmed. “If anyone still believes there’s no […]

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LOS ANGELES, CA—Responding to the rapidly changing cultural tide, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced Wednesday, just days before its 90th annual Academy Awards, that the event known as the “Oscars” has been rebranded and would henceforth be known as the more gender-neutral “Jessies.” “We’ve got enough on our plates already—we don’t want […]

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PORTLAND, ME—Moments after posting on his social media accounts that he was resolving to refrain from arguing on the internet anymore, local man Will Peters was reportedly drawn into a knock-down, drag-out fight in the comments of his Facebook post, sources confirmed. “LET IT BE KNOWN: From this moment forth I will no longer be […]

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HOLLYWOOD, CA—Guardians of the Galaxy star Chris Pratt shocked fans Monday when he admitted on Twitter that he was “praying” for Clerks director Kevin Smith, who suffered a heart attack Sunday night. Pratt is the latest in a long line of Hollywood elites who are guilty of using fame and power to accost those in […]

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What does “identity politics” mean? “Identity politics” is the term given to a popular practice in which politicians divide people into groups and inform them that they’re victims of a shadowy, oppressive power structure, and anyone who disagrees with them on any social issue is not an individual with valid ideas worth considering but is […]

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NASHVILLE, TN—In a bid to increase giving ahead of the organization’s upcoming $40 million sanctuary expansion, local megachurch LifeJourney Church announced Monday its new frequent tither rewards card, as part of a program designed to incentivize more regular giving to the church. Churchgoers’ giving will be tracked on the reward card and points will be […]

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VIENNA, VA—As a follow-up to his hit 2010 book Radical, missionary, pastor, and author David Platt announced Monday a new book targeting modern suburban American Christians, entitled Kinda Radical. The book will focus on being sort-of radical for Jesus, on lukewarm fire for him in some of our daily activities and interactions with others. “Learn […]

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U.S.—After yet another violent week in which more than 10,000 unborn childrens’ lives were lost, fed up citizens nationwide are demanding lawmakers adopt common-sense abortion control in America. Coordinated marches over the weekend saw swarms of people filling city streets across the country. “We one of just a handful of countries in the world with […]

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DESTIN, FL—According to sources close to Pastor Richard Wilkins of New Life Church, the 58-year-old preacher spent most of the week working hard on shoehorning a barrage of illustrations drawing on the sport of curling into his Sunday morning sermon. Wilkins is “betting big” on the variety of illustrations that pull from curling terms and […]

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