The post Family That Never Leaves Suburban Home Unless Absolutely Necessary Has Family Photos Taken In Remote Forest appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

MIAMI, FL—As the sparks were flying Thursday night at the second 2020 Democratic presidential debate, it was Sen. Kamala Harris' turn to speak.

The post Kamala Harris Claimed Americans Don't Want To See A Food Fight. Fact Check: FALSE appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—It's always interesting to take a look at the states from political debates. In this week's democratic debates, for instance, you can easily compare the amount of time each candidate spent breathing down a woman's neck.

The post Debate Breakdown: Which Candidate Spent The Most Time Breathing Down A Woman's Neck? appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

NASHVILLE, TN—Claiming demand for the product is "through the roof" among Southern Baptists, LifeWay Christian Resources announced Friday its proprietary tactical study Bible attachment designed to carry one study Bible or two compact study resources securely attached to the barrel of most assault rifles is now in stock on its online storefront.

The post Tactical Bible Attachment For Assault Rifles Now Available appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

LAKEWOOD, CO—During services at Lifecrosspointe Community Church this weekend, churchgoers watched a brief video providing a report of its youth group’s recent mission trip to West Virginia.

The post Mission Trip Video Indicates No Actual Work Got Done appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

SACRAMENTO, CA—Calling the measure a "major breakthrough" for the state's education system, Governor Gavin Newsom signed into law Friday a bill that mandates field trips to gay bars, strip clubs, and abortion clinics for the state's second graders.

The post California School System To Feature Mandatory 2nd Grade Field Trips To Gay Bars appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

MENLO PARK, CA—In a long-awaited addition to the social network, Facebook will now begin displaying a notification whenever a girl from high school messages you out of the blue, warning you that there is a "very high chance" that she's about to try to sell you stuff or recruit you into a multi-level-marketing scheme.

The post Facebook To Display Warning Whenever Girl From High School About To Sell You Stuff appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi agreed to pass $4.6 billion in border funding -- the majority going for humanitarian aid -- foiling the plans of Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who was trying to keep the children held at the border from getting basic things like food, medicine, and blankets.

The post Ocasio-Cortez Still Brainstorming Ways To Keep Detained Children From Getting Beds, Food appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

MIAMI, FL—A major cave-in occurred after all Democratic candidates scrambled to the far left side of the debate stage Thursday evening.

The post Major Cave-In As Democratic Candidates Rush To Far Left Side Of Debate Stage appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

The post Guy Playing Disc Golf In Middle Of Weekday Either Unemployed Or Youth Pastor appeared first on The Babylon Bee.