WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a moment of humility and meekness, President Trump refused to take any credit for peace talks between North and South Korea, claiming he is always uncomfortable in the spotlight and would rather have other people’s important work in diplomacy in the region be recognized. Trump told the crowd gathered at a political rally […]

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Since the prophet Elijah invented satire, there have only been five satirical books ranked the most hilarious, the most pure. This one leaves them all behind. How To Be A Perfect Christian releases tomorrow, a historical event that has already sent shockwaves through the international community: there is peace between the Koreas, a new Avengers movie […]

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U.S.—After comedian Michelle Wolf’s controversial stand-up act at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Trump supporters across the nation stated they were “outraged” and “triggered” that Democrats would tell mean jokes about conservatives and Republican politicians. People who voted for one of the most crass public figures ever to run for president were offended that Democrats […]

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Our new book hits the shelves on TUESDAY. For the love of modern worship ballads and megachurch cafés you need to preorder this thing right now. How to Be a Perfect Christian: Your Comprehensive Guide to Flawless Spiritual Living is 200 pages of brand-new material which spells out exactly how YOU can go from the terrible […]

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NEW YORK, NY—While almost nobody is willing to defend Bill Cosby any longer after he was convicted of sexual assault Thursday, the former television star and comedian found an ally in abortion provider Planned Parenthood. President Cecile Richards came forward to claim that since sexual assault is only about 3% of what Bill Cosby performed […]

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Stop what you’re doing and listen up, fam. Whatever you’ve got going isn’t as important as this little bit of common grace from on high: Justin Bieber just re-released his entire discography, adding the word “Jesus” in place of words like “Baby” and “girl.” The new collection is called Jesus Is My World 3.0 and […]

The post Praise the Lord: Justin Bieber Just Retroactively Inserted The Word ‘Jesus’ Into His Entire Catalog And This Is EVERYTHING appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—After super-celebrity Kanye West explicitly endorsed President Donald Trump on Twitter, igniting a firestorm of controversy, conservatives reminded the nation never to listen to the opinions of rich, out-of-touch celebrities unless those celebrities happen to say things that line up nicely with the conservative worldview. “Who cares what these ELITIST Hollywood PERVERTS have to say […]

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U.S.—After legendary hip-hop artist Kanye West expressed his support for President Donald Trump on Twitter, igniting a firestorm of controversy, liberals reminded the nation that everyone needs to respect minorities’ opinions until the exact moment those opinions contradict their own. Progressives confirmed they are totally passionate about listening to and supporting people of color, but […]

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Building on their newfound respect and appreciation for one another, President Trump and hip-hop artist Kanye West just released a cover version of “A Whole New World” from Disney’s Aladdin Thursday. The song instantly received widespread critical acclaim, with fans praising West’s creative take on Aladdin’s parts and Trump’s “surprisingly authentic” performance of Jasmine’s […]

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SEATTLE, WA—Touting it as their latest attempt to offer customers the ultimate in convenience and customer service, Amazon announced Wednesday that they will now deliver packages directly to your bedroom in the middle of the night while you sleep. “In-Bed Delivery is really a wonderful feature,” an Amazon press release stated. “We will gain access […]

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