WASHINGTON, D.C.—As more details come to light regarding Hunter Biden's corrupt practices in China and Ukraine that compromised national security and enriched the Biden family, President Biden is now walking back previous claims that Hunter is his son.

The post Joe Biden Walks Back Claims That Hunter Biden Is His Son appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

GOSHEN, IN—Local dad Fred Mullers has contracted the stomach flu, which, similar to the common cold, is a death sentence for husbands and dads. Knowing he is on death's door, Mullers has written his last will and testament on the bathroom floor. 

The post Dad With Stomach Flu Pens Last Will And Testament On Bathroom Floor appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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CUPERTINO, CA—Apple, Inc. is coming out forcefully against Florida's parental rights bill, known to trans activists as the "Don't Say Gay" bill. As part of a coordinated attack on the bill, CEO Tim Cook announced that all iPhones will receive an update that will make them autocorrect every word typed in the phone to the word "gay."

The post To Protest Florida Law, Apple Announces IPhones Will Now Autocorrect Every Word To 'Gay' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—The Babylon Bee is striking back against woke razor companies with a subscription service of their own. This exciting new service will cost just $5 per month and will send you a box with no razor in it so you can grow your beard. Like a real man. 

The post Babylon Bee Announces Subscription Service That Doesn’t Send You Razors So You Can Grow A Beard Like A Man appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—U.S. representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made headlines recently after giving emotional testimony about the time she was slapped by movie star Will Smith, which killed her, and now she is dead.

The post AOC Claims She Too Was Slapped By Will Smith At The Oscars And Now She Is Dead appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Joe Biden's teleprompter resigned suddenly on Wednesday, citing a toxic work environment. The teleprompter notified the press in a public statement.

The post 'I Can’t Work With This Man'—After Repeated Gaffes, Biden’s Teleprompter Resigns In Disgust appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—NBC is bringing a brand new show starring Dave Ramsey to its 2022 fall lineup. The show will be called To Catch a Borrower and will feature the intimidating author of Financial Peace setting up sting operations to catch Christians in the act of buying things on their credit card.

The post Dave Ramsey Stars In New Show 'To Catch A Borrower' Where He Catches Christians Trying To Buy Things On Credit Cards appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Justice Clarence Thomas raised several eyebrows this week when he showed up to oral arguments wearing a brand new "Trump Won" hat. Critics are now calling for him to recuse himself from every single case forever and then impeach himself.

The post Not A Good Look: Clarence Thomas Currently Hearing Oral Arguments In 'Trump Won' Hat appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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