September 30, 2019 at 05:22PM from The Babylon Bee
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WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Representative Adam Schiff came under scrutiny for reading a fake version of the phone call between President Donald Trump and the president of Ukraine, Schiff was forced to admit he is just a parody of an actual congressman.

The post Adam Schiff Revealed To Be Parody Of Actual Congressman appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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September 30, 2019 at 03:33PM from The Babylon Bee
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KAMINO—As a discussion started up about civil war in our country, the president himself fanning the flames with a retweet suggesting civil war if he's impeached, Trump revealed that he has been creating a clone army in secret for just such an occasion.

The post Trump Reveals He's Secretly Been Creating Clone Army In Preparation For Civil War appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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September 30, 2019 at 02:34PM from The Babylon Bee
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The post Rare Photo Surfaces Of Trudeau Not In Blackface appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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September 30, 2019 at 11:47AM from The Babylon Bee
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NEW YORK, NY—Kanye West is one of the most respected musical geniuses in secular music. But in accepting Christ, West's musical talents appear to have been curbed. 

The post Kanye West Becomes Christian, Immediately Begins Making Mediocre Music appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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September 30, 2019 at 11:00AM from The Babylon Bee
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NEW YORK, NY—The Anti-Defamation League has issued a new recommendation for people who want to avoid making any problematic hand gestures: cutting off your hands.

The post ADL Recommends Cutting Off Your Hands To Avoid Making Any Racist Gestures appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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September 30, 2019 at 10:16AM from The Babylon Bee
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LA MESA, CA—Local man Chad Tucker wanted to go all out for his wife Sharon's birthday this year.

The post Man Gives Wife Coupon For Unlimited Hobby Lobby Shopping Spree Redeemable Any Sunday Of Year appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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September 27, 2019 at 04:46PM from The Babylon Bee
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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi was feeling pretty good about her decision to open an investigation inquiry into President Donald Trump. Unfortunately for her, though, the impeachment inquiry was derailed earlier today when President Trump replied with, "Can't do that, triple stamped it, no erasies."

The post Impeachment Inquiry Derailed After Trump Responds With 'Can't Do That, Triple Stamped It, No Erasies' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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September 27, 2019 at 04:07PM from The Babylon Bee
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KENT, OH—While speaking at Kent State University, Beto O'Rourke---who is allegedly running for president---cited Nazi firing squads as grounds for taking guns away from private citizens.

The post Beto Cites Nazi Firing Squads As Grounds For Private Gun Ban appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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September 27, 2019 at 03:13PM from The Babylon Bee
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ATLANTA, GA—Call this one a win for modesty: Chick-fil-A is introducing the world's first fully clothed chicken breasts.

The post Chick-Fil-A Debuts Fully Clothed Chicken Breasts appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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September 27, 2019 at 12:56PM from The Babylon Bee
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WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a Trump campaign fundraising supper Thursday night, the mood was somber. Trump had just informed everybody that he would soon be impeached but would be reinstated three days later.

The post Evangelical Leaders Ask Trump Which One Of Them Will Betray Him During Impeachment Proceedings appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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