NEW YORK CITY, NY—With ratings for Brian Stelter's hit CNN show Reliable Sources continuing to nosedive in the Biden era, the award-winning and much-beloved TV host has had to consider new and innovative ways of reeling viewers back in.

The post Desperate For Ratings Boost, Brian Stelter Dons Orange Wig appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

NEW YORK CITY, NY—After generating buzz over their "football is gay" marketing campaign, the NFL has clarified that they weren't really talking about all of football or the entire league being gay, they were just talking about the Dallas Cowboys.

The post NFL Clarifies That The Entire League Isn't Gay, Just The Dallas Cowboys appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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The post 10 Reasons The 2020 Election Was The Fairest Election Of All Time appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

ELY, NV—After enjoying a generic chicken sandwich with waffle fries and a coke, professional parrot-sitter Antoine Herpsberger sat down to watch TV. Surfing channels, Herpsberger paused for a brief moment to watch a chef pour a delicate line of pear-infused chocolate coulis over a steaming array of raspberry truffle panettones. That brief pause was all the man needed to commit gluttony in his heart.

The post Man Watching Food Network Has Already Committed Gluttony In His Heart appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

NEW YORK CITY, NY—Ever since the NFL's recent announcement that "football is gay," critics have challenged the organization to enact new enforcement measures to maintain an acceptable level of gayness at each game.

The post NFL Introduces Rainbow Flag For Refs To Throw When Players Aren't Being Gay Enough appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—Scientists now warn that the COVID-19 Delta Variant is, like, more contagious and also, like... other stuff about it. Some of them have brought up masks again. I’m sure you’re rapt with attention about all this.

The post Delta Variant Found To Be Twice As Virulent And Blah Blah Blah Whatever Who Cares At This Point appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

NEW YORK CITY, NY—Some critics are raising concerns over election integrity after early results from the NYC mayoral election showed Biden winning by eighty million votes. 

The post Concerns Raised About Election Integrity After Biden Wins 80 Million Votes For NYC Mayor appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

LOS ANGELES, CA—After achieving bipartisan support for her cause among both the Left and the Right, Britney Spears has announced that if she wins her battle against conservatorship, she will consider running for president since she's the only person literally everyone agrees with. 

The post Britney Spears Considers Presidential Run As Only Person The Left And Right Both Agree With appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—The American Psychiatric Association has announced it will no longer recommend prescribing antidepressants to white male patients suffering from depression—since they're white males and should probably feel bad anyway.

The post Doctors No Longer Recommending Antidepressants For White Males Since They're Supposed To Feel Bad appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

UNDERGROUND LAIR, AZ—Somewhere in the foothills of Arizona, Mike Lindell has been hard at work developing the most comfortable, soothing straitjacket on earth, guaranteed to help his followers feel safe and warm as security guards blast them with ketamine darts.

The post MyPillow Guy Unveils New Product For Anyone Still Following Him, MyStraitjacket appeared first on The Babylon Bee.