BROOKSIDE, OK—Well, isn't this just the most adorable and 100% accurate Halloween costume we've ever seen: little Oliver Burnswax, just 18 months old, is dressed up as Joe Biden for Satan's favorite holiday.

The post Toddler With Full Diaper And Incoherent Speech Goes As Joe Biden For Halloween appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which we are assured is a real organization and not satirical, has called upon the MLB to change the name of the wooden sticks players hit the ball with from "bats" to something else as the name is very offensive to small, flying, nocturnal animals.

The post PETA Calls On MLB To Rename 'Bats' As Name Is Offensive To Nocturnal Flying Animals appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Dune (2021)

The post 'Dune' Review: Nobody Was Wearing A Mask In The Theatre And I Almost Died. Worms Were Cool. 2 Stars Out Of 5 appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Hey everyone, sorry it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. It’s just been crazy around here!

The post Babylon Mom: It's Important To Spend A Lot Of Time Doing Self-Care And Also Has Anyone Seen Aiden? appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

TUSCALOOSA, AL—The leadership of 4th Baptist Church in Tuscaloosa has just approved baptism "boosters" for their entire congregation starting at 5 years old. Elders believe these boosters will be at least 70% effective at saving those who weren't quite saved after their first and second baptisms. 

The post Church Leadership Board Approves Baptism Boosters appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Trump has announced a brand new social network called TRUTH to compete with Big Tech. To set the network apart from the competition and entice die-hard Trump supporters, TRUTH will only allow you to post the traditional American chant "Let's Go Brandon!" 

The post Trump Announces New Social Network Where The Only Thing You Can Post Is 'Let's Go Brandon' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

CHAPPAQUA, NY—According to sources, former First Lady and skilled assassin Hillary Clinton is joining the Halloween festivities this year by dressing up as a real live president. 

The post Hillary Clinton Dresses Up As President For Halloween appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

The post Youngkin Keeps Lincoln Project Away By Holding Rally Within 500 Feet Of A School appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

DEL RIO, TX—After weeks of being placed on leave, Texas border patrol agents are finally returning to the border on their horses. This time, however, they will be carrying giant sacks of money instead of their leather reins.

The post Mounted Border Patrol Ordered To Replace 'Whips' With Bags Of Money appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—A wildly popular new chain of hair salons and barbershops for introverts promises that your stylist or barber won't say a single word to you once you've communicated what kind of haircut you want.

The post Wildly Popular New Hair Salon For Introverts Guarantees No Small Talk From Your Stylist appeared first on The Babylon Bee.