DES MOINES, IA — Polk County prosecutors have formally charged God with a hate crime and third-degree criminal mischief for casting Satan, that serpent of old, into the lake of fire.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Unable to afford Eras Tour tickets on his historically low salary, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Brock Purdy finally punched his ticket to see Taylor Swift live with a remarkable comeback win over the Detroit Lions.

SACRAMENTO, CA — With a landmark piece of legislation, the state of California became the first state in the nation to ban heterosexual marriage.

Many believers hold tightly to specific out-of-context Bible verses to help them through life. What about well-known pastors? Have you ever wondered what passages of God's Word some of the most famous pastors hold dear?

U.S. — According to sources, the nation still has a faint, distant memory of some obscure rule where the President couldn't just declare war whenever he wanted on anyone he wanted.

LOS ANGELES, CA — Feeling inspired and motivated to compete with Ben Shapiro following his rap single hitting the top of the iTunes chart, Nicki Minaj has struck back by becoming Jewish and going on a speaking tour where she owns kids on college campuses.

U.S. — In a shocking discovery sure to shake America to its core, conservatives announced they have uncovered a secret plot by the Democratic Party to turn Taylor Swift into an international pop star and the Kansas City Chiefs into a football dynasty so Swift could then date a Kansas City player and leverage the collective media coverage to get Joseph R. Biden, Jr. elected as President.

In the year 2024, knowing which statues you can tear down is more confusing then ever! Will you be hailed as a hero of progress for fighting valiantly against colonization, or vilified and brought up on criminal charges for vandalizing a sacred monument?

DES MOINES, IA — Polk County prosecutors have formally charged God with a hate crime and third-degree criminal mischief for casting Satan, that serpent of old, into the lake of fire.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Unable to afford Eras Tour tickets on his historically low salary, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Brock Purdy finally punched his ticket to see Taylor Swift live with a remarkable comeback win over the Detroit Lions.