March 31, 2020 at 09:33AM from The Babylon Bee, at The Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C.—America's heroic lawmakers have managed to come together and pass a stimulus bill to save the world from the effects of the coronavirus. A grateful country full of very stimulated Americans is applauding the lifesaving efforts of Congress. Already, experts are predicting the stimulus bill will save the lives of at least 85,000 government programs. Sources say that with a little congressional money laundering, that figure could even double.
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