ANAHEIM—Beloved Disney character Donald Duck was spotted in public without any pants and, according to sources, completely unashamed. The Disneyland mascot has been cited for indecent exposure and is being required to attend an SAA meeting but concerned parents say it's not enough.

The post Corrupting Our Youth: Popular Disney Mascot Roaming Park Without Any Pants appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

TALLAHASSEE, FL—The popular topical pain-relieving cream Bengay is undergoing a name change in order to stay compliant with Florida law. Starting next month, the sore muscle medication will be sold under the new name "Benstraight." 

The post Under Florida Law Bengay Forced To Rebrand As Benstraight appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Looking more presidential every day, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis recently signed into law a brilliant piece of legislation called the “Don’t Say ‘My Momma So Fat’” Bill, forcing the nation’s democrats to go around all day yelling that their mommas are so fat.

The post DeSantis Signs 'Don’t Say My Momma So Fat’ Bill, Forcing Democrats To Constantly Say 'My Momma So Fat’ appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a tragic development, the White House attempting to walk back the statement that no one is walking back statements has ripped open a hole in the space-time continuum, annihilating the White House Press Briefing room.

The post White House Walks Back Statement That No One Is Walking Back Statements, Ripping Open Hole In Space-Time Continuum appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

We got a ton of letters from those of you who took our "Are you a woman?" test saying things like "I don't think I'm a woman. Is there another thing I could be?" The answer is yes! If you're not a woman, you just might be a man. To find out for sure, see the 12 most common warning signs that you might be a man. 

The post Are You A Man? 12 Signs To Look For appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

MAR-A-LAGO CLUB­­—Former President Donald Trump is hosting a press conference to announce that he has in fact beaten Elden Ring without dying a single time. Trump sat down and explained how he effortlessly completed the latest game by From Software—notorious for its difficulty—on his first try.

The post Trump Hosts Press Conference To Share How He Beat 'Elden Ring' Without Dying Once appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Take that, DeSantis! In a powerful statement against the "Don't Say Gay" bill, The Episcopal Church in Florida has released a new version of their hymnal in which every song title and lyric is replaced by the word "gay." 

The post Powerful Statement: New Episcopal Hymnal Replaces All Lyrics With The Word 'Gay' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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The post Here's How 14 Different News Outlets Covered The Will Smith Slap appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

LOS ANGELES, CA—In a show of penitence for the insensitive joke told during the Oscars, Chris Rock offered to smooth things over with Will Smith by sleeping with his wife.

The post Chris Rock Smooths Things Over With Will Smith By Sleeping With His Wife appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

ORLANDO, FL—On July 1st, teachers throughout Florida will no longer be permitted to encourage discussions about sex with children in grades kindergarten through grade 3. Florida teachers have been adamant that they've never encouraged such discussions in their classrooms but they are weirdly outraged that they will no longer be able to.

The post Teachers Who Insist They're Not Teaching Your Kid About Sex Also Weirdly Outraged By Ban On Teaching Your Kid About Sex appeared first on The Babylon Bee.