CAMBRIDGE, MA—Harvard student David Li was put on time-out and told to stand in the corner by his professor after far exceeding the expected test score of oppressed minorities last Tuesday. The professor of physics, Dr. Liam Sternberger says that he was "visibly trembling" after he had witnessed Li's test scores. "I feared other minorities in class might get the false idea that people from immigrant families are capable of achieving success and aren't oppressed beyond all belief by a nefarious conspiratorial cabal of white, privileged males."
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via The Babylon Bee