U.S.—Unable to fake contentment and thankfulness for one more second, citizens across the nation awoke Friday and immediately set out on a frenzied mission to violently pillage and strip bare all nearby retail locations, determined to acquire any discounted goods they desired, by any means necessary, numerous reports confirmed. Pillagers beat each other with various […]
. . . finish reading Nation Repents Of Thanksgiving With Day Of Violent Pillaging.
via The Babylon Bee